Finch Lines

Finch Lines in How To Succeed In Business

Book Voice: …Now let us assume you are a young, healthy, clear-eyed and eager, anxious to rise quickly and easily to the top of the business world. You can!

I can!

Book Voice: …Just have courage and memorize the simple rules in the chapters that follow. If you truly wish to be among the lucky golden few, you can!

I can!

HOW TO APPLY FOR A JOB…

HOW TO ADVANCE FROM THE MAILROOM…

HOW TO SIT DOWN AT A DESK…

HOW TO DICTATE MEMORANDUMS…

HOW TO DEVELOP EXECUTIVE STYLE…

HOW TO COMMUTE IN A THREE BUTTON SUIT…

WITH THAT WEARY EXECUTIVE SMILE.

THIS BOOK IS ALL THAT I NEED…

“HOW TO, HOW TO SUCCEED.”

Peterson: My memo about memos. We’re sending out too many memos and it’s got to stop.

Tackaberry: All right. I’ll send out a memo.

The right company!

HOW TO OBSERVE PERSONNEL.

HOW TO SELECT WHOM TO LUNCH WITH.

HOW TO AVOID PETTY FRIENDS…

HOW TO BEGIN MAKING CONTACTS.

HOW TO WALK INTO A CONFERENCE ROOM

WITH AN IDEA

BRILLIANT BUSINESS IDEA

THAT WILL YOUR EXPENSE ACCOUNT ZOOM.

THIS BOOK IS ALL THAT I NEED

“HOW TO, HOW TO SUCCEED.”

Biggley: You heard me! I said back to work!

I’m sorry I bumped into you, sir, but I would like to apply for a job.

Biggley: A job? Do you know who I am?

No, sir.

Biggley: I’m J.B. Biggley …In fact, that’s who the hell I am. How dare you come to me for a job?

I’m sorry, sir, but I

Rosemary: I’m sorry. I know how hard it is to find a job. I’ve been through that kind of thing myself.

Thank you, Miss. You’re very kind. Could you tell me where the personnel office is?

Rosemary: Personnel? It’s right there.

Thank you.

Rosemary: You - you’re not discouraged?

Of course not. I’m prepared for exactly this sort of thing.

Rosemary: Say! My friend Smitty works in Personnel. Maybe she can help you. You wait here.

But, Miss, it’s not really…

Bratt: Where do you think you’re going?

To see the personnel manager, sir.

Bratt: I’m the personnel manager and we’re not hiring anyone today.

Well, I was just speaking to Mr. Biggley.

Bratt: Biggley?

Yes, sir.

J.B. Biggley?

Yes, sir. He told me to see you (smile).

J.B. Biggley, himself? You were speaking to him?

Yes, sir. I just bumped into him.

Bratt: Ah, is he a friend of yours?

Sir, I don’t think a man should trade on friendship to get a job.

Bratt: Very well put, young man. Well, if you step into my office, I think we can work something out. My name is Bratt. (Extending his hand) And you are…

Finch, sir. Pierrepont Finch.

Bratt: Pierrepont. Say, maybe that ought to be J. Pierrepong Finch.

As a matter of fact, sir, it is.

Bratt: Well, that’s all settled. Nice to have you aboard, Finch.

Happy to ship out with you, sir.

Rosemary: My name is Pilkington. Rosemary Pilkington.

Oh, hello.

Bratt: Mr. Finch will be starting out in the mailroom. Glad you don’t mind that, Finch.

Sir, in a big pond like this, everyone must begin as a little fish.

Bud: Hello, Finch. I’m Bud Frump, Mr. Biggley’s nephew.

(offers hand) How do you do?

Bratt: Finch, nice to have you on our team.

Glad to be playing with you, sir.

Bud: Finch, you ambitious?

Not necessarily.

Rosemary: Have you got a girl?

A girl? No.

Rosemary: Good. I mean, that’s the right answer. I mean, it’s very wise to not have a girl.

I’m glad you understand, Miss Pilkington. Some women wouldn’t. You see, I feel that when a man wants to rise in the world of business, a girl, or let’s say an emotional involvement, can only lead to getting involved emotionally.

Rosemary: Good luck, Mr. Finch.

Thank you, uh, Miss…

Rosemary: Pilkington. Rosemary Pilkington.

I’m glad to be aboard.

Bud: Finch, where are you going? What have you got there?

It’s the executive mail.

Bud: I’ll take that. Trying to get in good on the inside, huh? I can’t even take a coffee break around here!

But, I’m merely trying to do my job.

Rosemary: …You know, Bud Frump is just jealous of you… He’s trying to keep the big executives from noticing YOU.

Thank you for defending me, Miss Pilkington.

Rosemary: Please call me Rosemary.

Okay, Rosemary.

Rosemary: Now, Mr. Finch.

Call me Ponty.

Rosemary: Okay, Ponty. The big executives will notice you. Just be patient.

Patient! Do you realize I’ve been working here for one whole week!

Rosemary: I know Ponty I haven’t forgotten. Happy anniversary.

Thank you, Rosemary. At least you noticed.

Rosemary: I wish I were an executive. I’d- uh oh. Here comes Judith Anderson.

Huh?

Rosemary: That’s Miss Jones, Mr. Biggley’s secretary. I’d better look busy. And you, too…

Pardon me, ma’am. You should be wearing this. It goes with your hair.

Miss Jones: Young man. You just want me to have this flower? You don’t know who I am?

That doesn’t matter. What matters is that the flower seemed to cry out to be worn by you.

Miss Jones: Young man, I’m Miss Jones, Mr. Biggley’s secretary.

No, you can’t be. I mean… that is… you just can’t be.

Miss Jones: Why not?

Well, from Bud Frump’s description of you, I’d never have, I mean you’re not a frightening person.

Miss Jones: Thank you.

Finch: If it’s not out of place for me to say so, Miss Jones, I think you’re a very attractive person. No matter what Bud Frump says.

Miss Jones: What did you say your name was?

Finch, ma’am. F-I-N-C-H. Finch. Pierrepont Finch.

Miss Jones: How is it I haven’t seen you before?

Oh, I’m not supposed to deliver the executive mail. That’s his job. Bud Frump. F-R-U-M-P.

Miss Jones: Mmmmm. Well, thank you very much, Finch. You’re a very interesting young man.

Thank you, Miss Jones.

Miss Jones: This was given to me by a very nice young man man. You should know him. Finch?

Yes?

Miss Jones: Finch, this is Mr. Catch

How do you do Mr. Catch?

Miss Jones: Mr. Catch would be a good man for you to know. His department is very important.

Oh, I know all about Mr. Catch. He’s in charge of… (rattling it off) Plans and Systems and Interdepartmental Evaluation. Also Pre-Promotional Promotion, Post-Administrative Research, and Multiple Development on a multilevel level.

Catch: Hey, Jonsey, this is a smart one. I didn’t know I did all that.

Very fine man, Mr. Catch. I hear he has an opening in his department.

Miss Jones: Yes, he has, but he hasn’t been able to make up his mind. Well, thankyou for the flower, young man.

You’re welcome, Miss Jones.

Bud: Hi, Jonsey.

Miss Jones: Miss Jones.

Say, Rosemary…

Bud: Finch, quit goofing off! You’ve got to pick up the second delivery!

Righto, Bud, old buddy boy.

Rosemary: Thanks for the flower? You gave my flower to Miss Jones.

Rosemary surely you don’t begrudge an old lady a moment of happiness.

Rosemary: Well, I guess it is important for you to be nice to Miss Jones.

I’m glad you understand that. See you later, Rosemary.

Twimble: Let’s get going, boys.

Bud: MMMM.

Yes, sir, Mr. Twimble. I’ve already started sorting.

Twimble: Finch, as head of this entire mailroom, I would like to tell you I’m very pleased with your work.

Thank you, sir.

Twimble: You really have an inborn gift for mailroomery.

Thank you, Mr. Twimble. Coming from you, that’s a great honor.

Bud: What’s the idea?

What’s the idea of what, Bud?

Bud: You know. You’re trying to butter up Twimble. Well, believe me, it won’t do you any good.

Good god, Bud. Just because I’m being nice to a man, does that mean I have to have an angle?

Twimble: …Well, boys, it looks as if they’re going to promote old Twimble to the shipping department.

(quickly) Congratulations.

Twimble: But it’s not going to help him if I have anything to say. I have somebody else in mind for this job. Ho ho.

Mr. Twimble…

Finch: Mr. Twimble…

Twimble: Yes?

You’ve been with this company a long time, haven’t you?

Twimble: Long, long time. Last month I became a quarter-of-a-century man.

That’s beautiful. Gee, a quarter of a century.

Twimble: A quarter of a century.

How long have you been in the mailroom?

Twimble: I PLAY IT THE COMPANY WAY; WHEREVER THE COMPANY PUTS ME, THERE I’LL STAY

BUT WHAT IS YOUR POINT OF VIEW?-

Twimble: I HAVE NO POINT OF VIEW.

SUPPOSING THE COMPANY THINKS…

Twimble: I THINK SO TOO.

What would you say if…

Twimble: I wouldn’t say!

YOUR FACE IS A COMPANY FACE.

Twimble: IT SMILES AT EXECUTIVES THEN GOES BACK IN PLACE.

THE COMPANY FURNITURE?

Twimble: OH, IT SUITS ME FINE.

THE COMPANY LETTERHEAD IS (SO)…

Twimble: A VALENTINE!

Is there anything you’re against?

Twimble: Unemployment!

WHEN THEY WANT BRILLIANT THINKING FROM EMPLOYEES.

Twimble: THAT IS NO CONCERN OF MINE

SUPPOSE A MAN OF GENIUS MAKES SUGGESTIONS

Twimble: WATCH THAT GENIUS GET SUGGESTED TO RESIGN

SO YOU PLAY IT THE COMPANY WAY

Twimble: ALL COMPANY POLICY IS BY ME OK!

YOU’LL NEVER RISE UP TO THE (TOP)

Twimble: BUT THERE’S ONE THING CLEAR; WHOEVER THE COMPANY HIRES I WILL STILL BE HERE!

You certainly found a home!

Twimble: It’s cozy!

YOUR BRAIN IS A COMPANY BRAIN

Twimble: THE COMPANY WASHED IT AND NOW I CAN’T COMPLAIN

THE COMPANY MAGAZINE

Twimble: BOY, WHAT STYLE, WHAT PUNCH

THE COMPANY RESTRAUNT?

Twimble: EVERY DAY SAME LUNCH. Their Haddock Sandwich, it’s delicious!

I must try it!

Twimble: Early in the week!

DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?

Twimble: I’VE A HOBBY; I PLAY GIN WITH MR. BRATT.

AND DO YOU PLAY IT NICELY?

Twimble: PLAY IT NICELY. STILL HE BLITZES ME IN EVERY GAME LIKE THAT!

Why?

Twimble: ‘CAUSE I PLAY IT THE COMPANY WAY. EXECUTIVE POLICY IS BY ME OK.

HOW CAN YOU GET ANYWHERE (IN THE)

Twimble: JUNIOR, HAVE NO FEAR, WHOEVER THE COMPANY FIRES I WILL STILL BE-

YOU WILL STILL BE HERE

Twimble: YEAR, AFTER YEAR, AFTER FISCAL-

NEVER TAKE A RISK-AL YEAR!

Twimble: …is Young Finch

Bratt: Finch

Bud: I’m going out for a smoke.

Thanks, but I can’t accept.

Bratt: Are you turning this job down?

That’s right sir. I think there is a man who is better qualified. A man who has been here longer than I. Gentlemen, I reccomend Bud Frump.

Bud: I’m oging to call my mother and tell her.

Twimble: I don’t understand.

Mr. Twimble, let me explain. Knowing you has taught me a lot-

Bratt: …The young fellow we picked turned the job over to Bud. He thinks Bud is better qualified… (Finch smiles) No, he doesn’t seem to be out of his mind. He was explaining about it when you called. Go ahead, Finch.

Mr. Twimble, the great thing you have taught me is that no individual is as important as the whole company.

Bratt: He says no individual is as important as the whole company.

The whole team is greater than any single player.

Bratt: The whole team is greater than any single player.

The whole crew is greater than any one oarsman.

Bratt: The whole crew is greater than any one oarsman.

The whole salad is bigger than any piece of lettuce.

Bratt: The whole salad is… Oh, you can hear him.

The whole omelette is bigger than any egg.

Bratt: Isn’t that great, J.B.? Sort of chokes you up, doesn’t it? …His name? It’s Finch.

F-I-N-C-H

Bratt: …Right. See you later, J.B. (hangs up) Finch, you got me off the spot with Mr. Biggley.

Glad to help, Mr. Bratt.

Bratt: I appreciate it. Good luck, Twimble.

Oh, Mr. Twimble, don’t I have to take this mail to Mr. Gatch?

Twimble: Gatch?

Gatch.

Bratt: Gatch?

Gatch.

Bratt: Say, I just remembered Mr. Gatch is looking for a junior executive in his department.

(does his smile) He is?

Bratt: I’m going to talk to him about you.

Me? A junior executive?