Ghost Wall

Booke

Authenticty

Authenticy was impossible and not really the goal anyway

We our

We ourselves become the ghosts

Bit of play

Bit of play acting for professors work- referring to the bog ritual

Its just an

Its just an experiment just to get a sense of the challenges

He wanted

He wanted his own ancestry, wanted a lineage, a claim on something’

I’d rather

i’d rather just get a job, get started

He’s

Hes a bus driver. Hisotry is just a hobby

This might be

This might be fun and games to you but its these folks work, their studies.

Dad did’nt

Dad didn’t want privacy, he wanted to be able to see what I was up to

How do you

“How do you leave home, how do you get away, how do you not go back?”

Mum couldn’t

“Mum couldn‟t watch TV unless Dad was working a night shift”

It’s no harder

it‟s no harder for girls to pee than boys, the

problem isn‟t biology, it‟s men‟s fear of women‟s bodies.”

Dont you imagine

“don‟t you imagine I won‟t do this again as often as it takes, as long as you‟re living under my roof

you‟ll behave yourself or else, do you understand”

What was it

what was it this time?

Some days

“some days I just knew he needed to hit me

Its usually

it‟s usually the ladies being squeamish, isn‟t it, you‟d think a lad‟d have

more guts.”

Without a house

“Without a house, it occurred to me, it is much harder to restrict a person‟s movement. Harder for a man

to restrain a woman.”

Hit me

hit me again, I dare you,

in front of all these people, let‟s have a public beating, an Iron-Age ritual of pain, go on, try it.”

Either he wanted

“Either he wanted me to have a better life than his and Mum‟s or he knew that money is power and

didn‟t want me to have any, or maybe – probably – both”

Your dad and jim

“Your dad and Jim, have you noticed, they‟re not much interested in the foraging and cooking, they just

want to kill things and talk about fighting,

Because they are

Because they are men, I

thought, because they‟re in charge, because there will be consequences if you don‟t.

Dont laugh at

don‟t laugh at him, it won‟t be you who catches it, don‟t make him feel stupid”

Obviously mum

“Obviously Mum was not interested in things, never had been, you only had to look at her to see that.”

Havent you been

“Haven‟t you been listening, people don‟t bother to hurt what they don‟t love.

Because I was

Because I was the scapegoat, the sacrifice, the thing Dad wanted to keep.”

They’ve

they‟ve completely lost the plot.

You court it

You court it she said you just go one step to far, what do you expect?

Folk lived

Folk lived by their bellies and the sun… folk knew patience in the old days

Who are the

Who are the ghosts again us or our dead?

Life

Life isnt fair

my father

my father was holding us all there bored by force of will

Leather

Leather shoes to protect living skin. Leather belts to make it sore

I kept

I kept my mind on the flora as I moved around stiffly

Dad had

Dad had forbiden me to get a saturday job

They made

They made chanting and i found myself joining in

you can learn

you can learn from doing things its not all books and speculation

theres plenty

theres plenty wants doing at home

to leave childhood

to leave childhood deoendecen behind me to enter the world

the adolscence

the adolscnce i couldnt wait to leave

when i get away

when i get away i will go out and buy myself pants in emerald and turquiose and scarlett .. i will have lipstick

is he always

is he always like this silvie pete

guys

guys playing w big sticks silvie

are you

are you ok silvie dan

be

beating drums

wouldve

woudlve been away to escape dads control

listened

listened to call of the last birds

leaves

leaves photosynthesising… berries ripening… the reach of roots

they came

they came at me with sticks raised

trees

trees stood dark against the sky