Bondi Legal lines

SIMON: your name is professor Herman Von Schlesser and you're a professor of chemistry at the university of new south Wales?

Das is correct (he nods his head firmly)

SIMON: And, professor, in your report you came to the conclusion that the Shine and Glow sample tested by you, which came from the same spray bottle as that used by the plaintiff's daughter, was completely harmless.

Ya harmless

SIMON: wouldn't even hurt a fly

oh, I was not asked to test it on a fly

(The professor moves around uncomfortably)

Ya ya. Correct!

SIMON: as a matter of fact, you told me this morning that you conducted a unique test which you left out of your report

Ya, I was zo confident of the result, I even sprayed the sample on both of my arms and the arms of my assistant. After two weeks, nothing. Nichts!

SIMON: no effect. is that right professor?

none at all as Herr Gott is my witness.

BRAD: professor, may I call you John?

my name is Herman.

BRAD: sorry. my memory gets a little hazy when I'm nervous. in fact, you look a little nervous, professor

I am not. i am just not used to giving evidence in court. that is all

perfectly understandable . you try and calm down there. we wouldn’t want you making any mistakes.

I will be fine. Alles in Ordnung!

BRAD: ever seen this before?

it looks like a photo

BRAD: yes, professor. very good. what's it a photo of?

is this a trick question? I was told you are tricky

BRAD: no professor that's Mr Crookwell. this is a simple question what's in the photo?

a horse

BRAD: ever ridden a horse, professor?

nein, I have not

BRAD: ever patted a horse?

I don't think so

BRAD: you can't remember?

My memory is excellent! I have never patted a horse

BRAD: ever… conducted any tests on a horse?

nein. I am not a vet

BRAD: as a matter of fact professor, you don't know anything about horses, do you?

I do not claim to. I am a professor of chemistry. I know about chemicals and their effects

BRAD: and their effects professor?

Ya!

BRAD: but we've already established you know nothing about horses therefore you couldn't possibly know about the effects of chemicals on horses. isn't that right, professor?

ach du leibe. how could I?

SIMON: your name is Dr Gavin Roberts?

yes

SIMON: and you are one of only three equine dermatologists in Australia?

that's correct

SIMON: I believe you've written over a dozen textbooks on the subject

yes and the one I'm holding, the encyclopaedia of equine dermatology, written by me, is regarded as as definitive work, world

SIMON: as a matter of fact, nobody knows more than you in this field… anywhere

that's a safe assumption

SIMON: and in your report, you state that it is impossible, and i repeat, impossible to conclude that my client's product, Shine and Glow, caused Empire Nell's condition.

yes. I can demonstrate by reference to my book, and pictures contained in it, that there are at least a dozen explanations for the horses condition… quite apart from its own possible hypersensitivity to ingredients in the spray.

SIMON: So, for the slow people in the courtroom, not you, Your Honour, quite simply, "it ain't my clients fault".

that's correct

(the lights flash on and off the come on dimmer than before Dr Roberts gets to his feet and flats at Brad.)

You can't handle me. you're just a frightened little boy run away little boy!

BRAD: do you like taking photos, doctor?

photos? I don't mind.

BRAD: ever noticed how some photos don't always turn out the way you want them to?

That depends on the camera and the sklill of the cameraman

BRAD: … with lots of really well taken photos in it

Of course. this is a world-class textbook. The photos are of the highest quality.

BRAD: yes. everything has to be perfect so people can come to the right conclusion about the conditions represented in the book

does that require an answer?

BRAD: I'll take that as a "yes". now, your report and your conclusions were based upon photos taken of Empire Nell. is that correct?

the photos appear in the report and are referred to in great detail. (the doctor scowls)

BRAD: yes, they are. any idea who took these photos?

no

BRAD: how did you get them?

they were sent to me by Mr Crookwell's firm with a request for a report

BRAD: they're not the best photos on the world, are they?

they're adequate.

BRAD: not as good as the photos in your encyclopaedia for instance

not as good but good enough

BRAD: these photos, that aren't as good as the ones in your encyclopaedia, do they show you a complete picture of Empire Nell?

they appear to.

BRAD: oh, they appear to. do you know as a fact that they fully reflect Empire Nell's condition?

I had enough to go on

BRAD: enough but not the hundred percent, total, complete picture

I'm a specialist. I can join the dots myself

BRAD: by the way, doctor, do you advocate diagnosing a horses condition from photos as the preferred method of examination a opposed to an actual, physical examination?

of course not

BRAD: because an actual examination might reveal something not apparent in the photos

that's possible but unlikely in this case.

BRAD: but doctor,you knew your opinion was sought for a court case and there would be serious consequences. why not go out and examine Empire Nell in the flesh?

I wasn't asked to

BRAD: wasn't asked to by whom?

if I wasn't asked to, how can I tell you by whom?

BRAD: you know that almost makes sense. okay, who was it that requested the report but didn't ask for a physical examination of the pony?

Mr Crookwell's law firm

BRAD: do, doctor, the defendants lawyers didn't give you the option to examine Empire Nell close up?

no, I guess they know how busy i am.

BRAD: yes, is a pity when you can't find time to do things properly. and, of course, doctor, you would have preferred to have seen Empire Nell in the flesh rather than rely on photos isn't that right?

I did what I was asked to do

BRAD: I'm sure to did, doctor but I'm a little unclear. if you had been given the choice by Mr Crookwell's firm between relying on photos or a physical examination, which easy would you have gone?

I would have chosen a physical examination… …supplements by photos for later reference

BRAD: and I bet you would have taken those photos, doctor, rather than leaving it to someone who didn't know what they were looking for.

perhaps.

BRAD: Let me ask you a hypothetical question. Suppose someone came to you with a spray bottle and said in the previous twenty four hours they had applied some of the contents of that bottle to their horse, and you had no reason to doubt them, and you observed the horse's skin had become flaky and a few days later you observed the horse's mane and tail had fallen out, would you say it was possible, assuming no evidence of hypersensitivity, that the contents of the spray bottle caused the horse's condition?

hypothetically, its possible