HDFS Exam #2 Interdependency/Exchange Theory

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Social Exchange Theory

A theory viewing relationships like an economic market where people act as shoppers looking for the best outcomes (maximum rewards at the least possible cost).

Interdependence

A state where partners need each other for support, resources, and outcomes that they cannot easily get from anywhere else.

The Outcome Formula

Rewards - Costs = Outcomes

Rewards

Positive experiences (sex, companionship, trust, gratifying commodities).

Costs

Negative aspects or sacrifices (paying for dates, prioritizing their interests over yours, punishing experiences, or regrets of what you missed out on).

Comparison Level (CL)

The standard of outcomes we think we deserve in a relationship.

Comparison Level for Alternatives (CLalt)

The outcomes we think we can realistically get from the next best alternative available to us (e.g., being single or dating someone else).

Approach Motivation

Moving toward a relationship to satisfy an appetite for desirable experiences (e.g., initiating intimacy to feel closer).

Avoidance Motivation

Acting to escape punishment, anxiety, or pain (e.g., engaging in intimacy just to avoid a partner's bad mood or a negative argument).

Exchange Relationships

Governed by a strict "tit-for-tat" rule. (e.g., "I drove here, you drive back" or "I paid for dinner, you buy dessert").

Communal Relationships

Governed by mutual responsiveness to needs without keeping tabs or expecting immediate payback.

Happy Dependence

Current outcomes are high, your expectations (CL) are low, and your alternative options (\(CL_{\text{alt}}\)) are also low with no barriers. You are satisfied and highly committed.

Unhappy Commitment

You stay committed despite poor outcomes because you feel you have to (low alternatives or high barriers prevent you from leaving).

Proportional Justice (Equity Theory)

your outcomes = your partner’s outcomes, your contributions = your partner’s contributions

Overbenefiting

Receiving better outcomes from the relationship than you actually deserve.

Underbenefiting

Receiving fewer outcomes than you should (strongly linked to relationship distress)

Core Rule

The total outcome level matters more than absolute equity (poor overall outcomes hurt more than simple imbalance).

5:1 Gottman Ratio

The stable behavior metric discovered by Gottman & Levenson.

Interdependency & Unanticipated Costs

Unexpected friction points that emerge as a relationship moves forward.

Lack of Effort

Partners stop being continuously polite to each other or family.

Magnified Friction

Intimate proximity makes you more vulnerable to your partner's bad moods and stress.

Access to Weaponry

A partner learns your exact personal weaknesses and vulnerabilities.

Unwelcome Surprises

Drastic life developments (e.g., parenthood, where data shows a sudden deterioration in satisfaction following a child's birth).

Relational Turbulence

The friction, doubt, and adjustment difficulties experienced when transitioning a relationship from casual dating to a serious, committed status.

Self-Expansion Model

The theory that we are naturally attracted to partners who expand our worldview, introduce us to new concepts, and make us better people

Rusbult Investment Model

High Satisfaction + Low Alternatives + High Investment = Strong Commitment

Investments

Things you stand to lose completely if the relationship ends (tangible goods, a house, shared time with children, or psychological benefits).

Barriers

External factors that actively discourage you from leaving by forcing dependence (finances, lack of options, power dynamics, or fear of loneliness).

Personal Commitment

You stay because you genuinely want to continue.

Structural Commitment

You stay because you feel you have to (e.g., staying together strictly for the sake of the kids).

Moral Commitment

You stay because you believe you should (e.g., viewing divorce as completely against your personal morals or religious responsibilities).

Accommodation Behavior

Swallowing insults, tolerating occasional negative behavior, and refusing to fight back to keep a situation calm.

Willingness to Sacrifice

Doing things you don't actively want to do for the partner's benefit.

Perceived Superiority

A cognitive bias where you genuinely believe your relationship is completely superior to everyone else's.