Interpersonal Relationships Exam 2

Over attribution

• taking more credit for something than actually exists (ex. Both spouses think they care for the kids the most)

• One’s own contributions are more “available” in mind than others’ are

• Motivational influences, selective encoding, differential retrieval, informational disparities

• Correlated with (dis)satisfaction

relationship enhancing

more internal, stable, global = what

relationship distress-maintaining

more external, unstable, specific = what

positive illusions

seeing your partner as better than they actually are

perceived similarity

you feel similarity between you and your partner, leads to relationship satisfaction through a feeling of understanding

Transference

• when a new person resembles a significant other in some way, we tend to assume that new person resembles the significant other in other ways as well

• Inferences about characteristics

• Facial affect displayed upon receiving information about a new person

• Closeness motivation and expectations of rejection/acceptance

• Effects occur even when we are unaware of the process

Secure

• “I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them. I don’t often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me.”

• When partner is consistently responsive and you feel worthy

• when threat prompt thoughts of partner

Avoidant

• somewhat uncomfortable being close to others, find it difficult to trust them completely or to allow yourself to depend on them etc.

• When partner is consistently unresponsive and you feel unworthy

• threats suppress thoughts of partner

Ambivalent

• find that others are reluctant to get as close as you would like, worry that your partner doesn’t really love you etc.

• When partner is inconsistently responsive and you feel unworthy

• thoughts of partner are always active

how many facial expressions

6 universal expressions, but gestures are not universal

intimate zone

0-.5 feet

personal zone

1.5-4 feet

social zone

4-12 feet

public zone

12+ feet

paralanguage

non-verbal elements of communication that accompany speech, essentially focusing on how something is said rather than what is said

chameleon effect

the unconscious mimicry of another person's postures, facial expressions, gestures, and speech patterns

noller’s method

Assigned meaning to convey when communicating ambiguous statements (e.g., “I’m cold, aren’t you?)

Statements decoded by spouse and outside observers

Compare spouse’s performance to observers

skill deficit vs performance deficit

A skill deficit (a "can’t do" problem) occurs when an individual lacks the foundational ability, knowledge, or training to perform a behavior. A performance deficit (a "won’t do" problem) occurs when the person possesses the skill, but fails to execute it consistently due to a lack of motivation, emotional blocks, or unsupportive environmental conditions

self disclosure

revealing info about yourself

meta message

what is says about the relationship that you say certain things

kitchen sinking

Not communicating what we mean, “brining everything but the kitchen sink”

negative mindreading

cognitive distortion where a person automatically assumes they know what someone else is thinking or feeling, almost always attributing a negative thought, motive, or judgment to that person without any real evidence

cross complaining

dysfunctional communication pattern where one person responds to their partner's complaint by immediately firing back with a complaint of their own, completely ignoring the original issue

demand withdraw pattern

a toxic communication cycle in romantic relationships where one partner (the demander) pushes, nags, or criticizes for change, while the other partner (the withdrawer) shuts down, avoids, or goes silent

escape conditioning model

suggests that one partner (historically studied as men) experiences high stress or aversive arousal during conflict and withdraws to stop the discomfort, which negatively reinforces the withdrawal behavior

rewards

anything about the relationship that results in desirable experiences for the individual

costs

• anything about the relationship that results in undesirable experiences for the individual

• Outcome = rewards - costs

• We seek relationships that will provide the best possible outcomes

Comparison level (CL):

• what you think you deserve in a relationship

• Outcomes - CL = satisfaction (if+) /dissatisfaction (if-)

Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt):

• how well you think you could do elsewhere

• Outcomes - CLalt = dependence/independence

Stable and satisfying relationship

outcomes exceeds both CL and CLalt

Stable and unsatisfying relationship

outcomes are worse than CL and CLalt is lower than the outcomes

Unstable and satisfying relationship

outcomes are better than CL, but CLalt is higher than outcomes

Unstable and unsatisfying relationship

outcomes are lower than both CL and CLalt

Investment Model

• satisfaction level + quality of alternatives + investment size = commitment level → persistence

• Behavioral maintenance mechanisms: accommodation, willingness to sacrifice, forgiveness

Interdependence dilemmas

• immediate self interest vs pro-relationship behavior

• Overriding self interested responses when a partner’s preferences are incompatible with one’s own

Cognitive interdependence

• collective representation of self-and-partner vs individual representation of self

• Ex. using we, our, vs I, me, mine when referring to your relationship

• Better reaction to partners’ successes