eppy night 1

Lets gay

I mean go

PARTY ROCK

SCENE 1 - CHRISTENING

MERRIWEATHER: Fairy MERRIWEATHER and the Forest Fairies are honoured and overjoyed to be invited…

FAIRIES: Overjoyed!

THUNDER LIGHTNING

Mwah hahahaha

3 Lines

MERRI: It’s the banished fairy - Carabosse the Maleficent!

At your service My King, My Queen, Colonel Crumple!

COLONEL: It’s Crumble, what?

Who cares! Sisters - how nice it must be to receive and invite to such a natty celebration!

STACY: What do you want, Carabosse?

Oh, just to be included would be a start. Spread maleficence far and wide and share my gift with the baby. (Look) beautiful! You must be very proud.

2 lines

NURSEY: Never mind that! She said she’s got a gift. Is it gold. Jewels, diamonds or cold hard cash?

None of the above! It’s much more valuable!

2 lines

NURSEY: She’s rich, she’s rich, the baby’s rich! What is it? Don’t keep us I suspenders!

COLONEL: What, what?

Allow me to enlighten.

For the baby who has it all, love, contentment and so much more. Here’s a gift to her from me, the fairy who was banished so unfairly. Until the sixteenth year of her time on earth I present her with this vile curse. She will fall into a deathly sleep and her life will dwindle when she pricks her curious dinger on a weaver’s spindle.

ALL: NO!

Yes! And there is nothing you can do about it! And you lot zip it too. There’s only one boss - me! Carabosse. Oh, yes I am… oh, yes I am… oh, no I’m not! Ah! Got you stupids!

COLONEL: You’ll never get away with this, what?

I already have. Have a nice life! Aren’t I just magnificent?

WOODY: Don’t yell at Woody… See ya later gang

SCENE 3 - HAUS

PLAY ON

SIXTEEN YEARS! SIXTEEN. WHOLE. YEARS. And you’re still here. Sixteen years and I haven’t aged a day! Which can’t be said for some of you. (Point) Hairy…oooh! Butch…bald! And thats just the women. SIXTEEN YEARS they’ve hidden a tittle brat, but today’s the day I put and end to that. Oh! I’m a poet and I don’t even know it. Now, before you say it - after many years of toil, struggle, and downright tear your hair out frustration. I’ve found a spindle on TEMU! And it arrives today!

DOORBELL

Just in time!

Wild beasts of the forest - hear my call! Bring forth to me my crystal ball. And on your way right now - take heed and pick up my parcel at break-neck speed.

HOWL HOWL RUFF

BEASTS ENTER

Welcome friends. Compliments on your promptness!

SQUIRREL COMES LATE

Not you! You’re late.

SPELL

SQUIRREL FALLS

Take it away! Oh! Boohoohoo - cry babies! It’s a pantomime not a PETA convention.

BEASTS DRAG IT AWAY

Mwah! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Bring me my gift!

BEAST STEPS FORWARD WITH CRYSTAL

Not that! My new cursing device - all the way from China!

BEAST STEPS FORWARD WITH ENVELOPE

What is that?

OPEN ENVELOPE

A curse on temu and online shopping!

SPELL

BEAST FALLS

Wait!

SNIFF SNIFF

Come ye spirits of land, sea and air - heighten my senses to those of wolf, buzzard and hare!

SNIFF

I smell her close and hear her nearer - bring me my crystal so my eyes see clearer!

BEASTS BRING THE CRYSTAL

She’s there. All grown and not far I see. I told you, it would all come together for me.

Aren’t I just magnificent!…Oh! Yes I am…Oh! Yes I am! Oh! Don’t spit out your dummies because I’m a shape-shifting genius!

CONFIDEN YEAHEAH

CONFIDENT YIPPEE

Beasts go fourth and do not dawdle. It’s time for me to find that curs’ed spindle. A disguise I think will help me not lose. A- Ha! Why not become an untamed goose! And once I’ve brought those royal muppets in line. The princess, the kingdom and the world will be mine. Aren’t I just magnificent??

SCENE 4 - INTUT WOODS

WOODY: What a nice guy. Handsome too! AH! I better find Briar Rose! See you later gang! Don’t yell at Woody…

Pssst! It’s me ‘thee boss’ Carabosse the maleficent. My magical shape shifting is working a treat. My sense’s are prickling - she’s close and about to meet her doom! Mwahahahahahahahaha! Aren’t I just magnificent? Oh yes I am…oh yes I am…Oh! Put a sock in it you bunch of drama queens! This is no place for theatrics! Tatty bye!

OPHELIA

WOODY: I found you two, too!

And after sixteen long years - I’ve found you!

ALL: Who are you?

Your worst nightmare!

WOODY: What?……………………………………………… - closer and closer - then you wake up!

No.

WOODY: Oh!

Wild beasts of the wilderness - heed my call. Smash and destroy this regal, woodland ball. Break the spirit of these sheltered creatures and display to them your horrific features.

PRINCE: Get behind me!

WOODY: You don’t have to ask me twice

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

I know there’s a spindle left somewhere in this kingdom. To make grand frocks you need yarn to loom. And who is never short of new threads?… That’s right - royalty! I’ll find their private sinning wheel and initiate Briar Rose’s doom! Aren’t I just magnificent?

12 DAYS OF RIZZMAS

BLAH BYE

WOODY:………………………………………………….. That’s better! Hello??? Briar Rose? Where is everybody? They’re taking this surprise super seriously!

PUSH

Arrrrrrghhh!

Mwah hahahahaha! I knew it. They couldn’t destroy them all - not if they wanted to keep up appearances! Pathetic! Ow, a new look for myself I think! Oh! Not from this piece of junk.

SPELL

I can tell from your face, love - you’re not a true believer. But watch as I change your mind and become an old - skool weaver.

INTO THE UNKNOWN