David Lines (Family Fruitcake) Act 1

Laurie: Oh! Oh, I’m so sorry, you must be David. Karinn's told us so much about you.

Nice to finally meet you… you’re Laurie, right? The big sister. You and Karinn look so much alike.

Jim: Welcome to our home, David. It's not much, but we’re proud of it anyway.

Ah! Uh, right.

Laurie: Jim, just take the suitcase.

That’s okay, I can-

Laurie: I suppose you can.

… I'll just put this away.

Jim: That way.

Thanks.

Emma: But Mom, you always say Aunt Karinn is afraid of commitment so she drives all the men away!

Sorry that took so long, I got a little turned around. Uh, you have a lovely linen closet.

Karinn: which you went in looking for the stairs?

David: Yes…

Emma : You're david? I'm Emma.

Nice to meet you, Emma.

Emma: You're nice. I'm glad aunt Karen didn't drive you away.

Uh… thanks.

Bev: And a handsome man! I don't believe we had met. Beverly Swenson.

Ohh, of course, the famous great aunt bev

Bev: oh? we have met?

Well no but karen mentioned

Bev: hmm, is that a wedding ring i see? lucky for her i didn't get there first.

Can I take your bag for you?

Bev: maybe I will at that. always hopeful. always did have an eye for a younger man.

I, uh, i just have to, umm, I'll go see if my wife needs any help.

Laurie: would someone please get the door

Ill get it

Karinn: ill take it under advisement.

Is there somewhere you'd like these things?

Bev: ohh, no, wait, that was his name. Rick Shaw.

I think I put everything in the right room. It's the one where the ceiling slopes, right

Karinn: No that’s our room

Oh.

Laurie: ohh, never mind. david, are you all right

I think so. Just knock the wind out of me.

Jim: you'll get over that real quick. have to when you're a parent.

I suppose so…

Karinn: well, normally he gets full-blown panic attacks. I think it's an endearing trait.

She's right. I have been getting better… but then it's already been a surprising last few months, meeting Karen… that was probably the best surprise of my life. Then, she showed up at the office a couple of months ago with… the news and… I proposed. Wow, I proposed. That was a surprise even to me. I still haven't recovered completely… oh. I'm sorry for rambling. I don't have to go into all this. I'm sure Karinn’s already told you all about it.

Karinn: David…

You didnt tell them, did you?

Karinn: I meant to

They didn't even know about the pregnancy, did they?

Karinn: No

I thought they looked shocked when we came in. I feel like such an idiot. Why didn't you tell them?

Karinn: i must have forgotten

Forgotten?!

Karinn: i've got a lot on my mind! You know how I am!

How do you forget a thing like this? You remembered to tell me all about your family? Even great aunt Bev.

Karinn: well, it's hard to forget about great aunt bev

But you forgot to tell them about the baby?!

Karinn: well, I, I've got that big Incan pottery exhibit coming up and you know how busy that makes me… I need to rent a wheelchair.

Its our child.

Karinn: i know, okay, maybe I didn't forget. Maybe I just didn't know how to tell them.

When were you going to tell them?

Karinn: well I don't know… I was going to work up to it. Eventually, somehow it was hard enough to tell laurie, I got married.

Why? You did want to-

Karinn: of course. I wanted to!… i mean I just never thought I would… i mean…

Never thought what? Did you marry me just because of the baby

Jim: is it safe for me to come back in?

Yes.

Jim: Great!

Excuse me, please.