This Murder was staged-Thornton

Kiera-(As Lucy Savere:) Thank you, Carla. As I was saying , it's actually quite simple. The killer is right here in this close, I know this because I lured him in her the same way you catch a mouse.

Thorton/Tonya: (As Dash McCann) You put cheese in there?

Kiera: Ahh…well, this isn't the gardener… maybe its the… plumber, whom we have not ever seen or even heard about up until now, but who has tragically been murdered. By, whoever still remains in this closet…

Thorton/Tonya: (Breaking Character) Is that Sinclair?

Trudy: Is there a doctor in the house?

Thorton/Tonya: (As Dash) I'm a doctor!

Suzanna: Sweetie, you're not a doctor.

Thorton/Tonya: (Breaking, to Susanna) It's improv. Just go with it.

Kiera: This is not part of the play, Tonya. This is real life.

Thorton/Tonya: (Breaks character) Oh thank goodness. I thought you all had changed the play without telling me.

Det. Drake: This man isn't simply dead… He's dead by murder.

Thorton/Tonya: Whoa. I just got chills. That was really impressive, the way you delivered that line.

Det. Drake: I don't deal with opnions, lady… except for hers were unfocused and trite.

Thorton/Tonya: Thank you, doctor

Det. Drake: Okay, just cool it. Come here.

Thorton/Tonya: On my way.

Det Drake: What are you doing?

Thorton/Tonya: I want to help, Officer Police Doctor, but touching a dead body is icky.

Det. Drake: Just pretend it's not real.

Thorton/Tonya: Let me get into character.

(As Dash) Stand aside-

Det. Drake: I'm not standing aside.

Thorton/Tonya: Then stand with me!

Det. Drake: So, what do you have to say for yourself.

Thorton/Tonya: I… have to go to the potty.

Det. Drake: Yes, we know, you have to go to the bathroom.

Thorton/Tonya: No… I mean, yes, I do, but I was gonna say, I think I know who has a motive.

Mark: Sorry… Agian, I'm just really nervous. But I definitely didn't do it. Carry on…

Thorton/Tonya: Well, now I think maybe it was Mary, but I was going to say… our lead actress, Kiera Gimbal.

Det. Drake: Go on, Tonya

Thorton/Tonya: well, just last week, Keira and I were and I were running some lines…

Kiera: (As Lucy Savere) Your latest movie was a bomb, isn't that right, Ms. McCann?

Thorton/Tonya: (As Dash) Please, call me Dash.

Kiera: Is that your real name?

Thorton/Tonya: Its the name my fans have come to know and love, and that's all that matters.

Kiera: Except they don't love you as much anymore, do they? The public has grown weary of you. You're old hat Dash.

Thorton/Tonya: It's not true. I'm as popular now as I've ever been. I'm a star. A star!

Kiera: Okay, okay. Stop

Thorton/Tonya: What? No good? I thought I was pretty good.

Kiera: You were… fine. It's just this play. This theater. All of it.

Thorton/Tonya: What's wrong with the play? I like it. It all ties together nicely.

Kiera: That's exactly my point… Instead, I'm playing a Lady Detective. Big whoop.

Thorton/Tonya: But isn't it nice that at the end of the play, it's the end? The audience gets to just watch it and then leave and do something else. People don't like to have to think about a play after it's over. Thinking is… what was it you were saying? Do I like peanut butter? … Uh, yes, I guess I do.

Kiera: I didn't ask if you… Why am I even talking to you about this?

Thorton/Tonya: I have a face that people like to talk at. I've been told this.

Kiera: I just wish I had a dramatic monologue… solve the murder.

Thorton/Tonya: But isn't it nice when murder is fun. And you get to be the center of it all. I mean, I'm the lead, but you-

Keira: You're not the lead.

Thorton/Tonya: Yes, I am, I am the actor that stands most downstage, in front of everyone else. The lead.

Kiera: What are you… "The role of a life time" he said.

Thorton/Tonya: Cool! What's the play?

Kiera: This one!

Thorton/Tonya: Oh… Oh! Yeah, this is not as good as a movie.

Kiera: Yeah, even you get it.

Thorton/Tonya: Yeah, even me.

Keira: And then I find out I'm making less than all of my co-stars.

Thorton/Tonya: That's not right.

Kiera: Including you!

Thorton/Tonya: To be fair, I am a box office draw because of… ( Motions to her face)

Kiera: To top it all off, that coward… Can you believe that?

Thorton/Tonya: Yes. Yes, I can. Are we still talking about Sinclair?

Kiera: I hate him so much. Somebody should just… murder him.

Thorton/Tonya: I disagree. I, Tonya Jackson, think murder is wrong, unless it's in a play and it's fun. But, for the record, I don't think anyone should murder our director Sinclair Hemmings.

Kiera: Well, you're wrong… Good day.

Thorton/Tonya: And that's exactly how it went.

Kiera: That is absolutely not how it went. Some of that is true… I just said he was a jerk and he lied to me.

Thorton/Tonya: Don't listen to her, Doctor. I have a great memory.

Det. Drake: I told you, I'm a detective.

Thorton/Tonya: A doctor AND a detective. Impressive.

Suzanna: He's gone!

Thorton/Tonya: What happened?

Det. Drake: It seems what we have her is a classic end-of-act-one twist.

Thorton/Tonya: But this…real life… right?

(Thornton Starts to leave) Det. Drake: Where are you going?

Thorton/Tonya: To the Potty

Det. Drake: Can't you hold it? We just got back.

Thorton/Tonya: Sure, I don't have to go.

Suzanna: Then why are you going the bathroom?

Thorton/Tonya: That's where I was before.

Trudy: No, take your places as you were before intermission.

Thorton/Tonya: Oh… right. I was onstage.

Mark: You should have said something like… Don't you dare tell me how todo my job, missy. I've been catching murderers since you before you were born.

Thorton/Tonya: Ooh ooh ooh, or like… You think you can do a better job catching murderers? Well, I'll show you!

(Pulls hammer from pocket and raises it above head. SUZANNA screams. quickly puts hammer down)

Sorry, Sorry. I was just acting. Hey, Suzanna, it's me. Tonya. I was performing.

Suzanna: Why are you swinging a hammer at me?

Thorton/Tonya: It's just a prop. I found it backstage.

Suzanna: This isn't a prop hammer.

Thorton/Tonya: Oh.

Det. Drake: Will everyone just… Nobody move.

Thorton/Tonya: Can I put my arm down?

Det. Drake: Nothing can be ruled…backstage area during the performance?

Thorton/Tonya: Only the actors. And Trudy.

Det. Drake: That's true. What about stagehands?

Thorton/Tonya: Like these? (Jazz Hands)

Taylor: Those are jazz hands, you idiot.

Thorton/Tonya: I know that.

Suzanna: You think we can afford stage hands on our budget? Or jazz hands, for that matter?

Thorton/Tonya: Jazz hands are free!

Mark: I hated when he skulked.

Thorton/Tonya: I don't like the way skulks smell.

Suzanna: Those are skunks, sweetie.

Thorton/Tonya: (Suddenly scared) Where?

Suzanna: I'm going to hit him with a candlestick-

(Bursts onto stage) Thorton/Tonya: What'd I miss? Oh, hey Sinclair! I guess you're not dead. That's cool. Are you going to end the other play now? I'm a little worried about Mr. Newland.

Det. Drake: It's okay, neither am I.

Everyone: We know

Trudy: But he's dead.

Thorton/Tonya: Maybe this murder is also staged.

Sinclair: Good idea

Thorton/Tonya: I don't mean to be a pest, but what should I do with the bloody hammer.