Scene 13

Man Stinkin'

[OPEN]

Abolitionizin’. here abolitionizin’ all over this Southern territory. Stickin’ their Bibles ‘n’ rifles ‘n’ all other sorts of instruments of abolitionizin’ in all kinds of places that nature never intended.

[MAN DRINKIN’] White-livered.

Ever cut one open? Liver’s white. Bright white. With negro-lovin’ spots all over it.

[DRINKIN’] Chicken-hearted.

You ever smell one?

[RED] A live one?

W’all smell the same dead, Red.

[RED] That so.

So, yes, I’m sayin’ a live one. Squirms under yer thumb. One live abolitionist.

[DRINKIN’] Catch ‘em by the toe.

Smellin’ like that particular Yankee soap they all use. I’d swear they pass it around, one single cake of it, cabin-a-cabin - wash their wives in between the sheets, and then pony express it to the next. Press it into the palms of all them impressionable farmers they converted with their slicked-up Bibles -

[DRINKIN’] All of ‘em.

Each one not from Missouri.

[RED] Yankees.

So you smelled that smell?

[DRINKIN’] Not that smell.

Shoot, that burn was because they wouldn’t come out ‘n’ fight. But I’m referrin’ to that burn you feel when you’re standin’ outside McGreevy’s and you see ‘em walk through this town, like this land was free - some kind of free country. Like they got any right to be here, settin’ up them farms, when we’re here -

[RED] Drinkin’ the red eye.

That’s right.

[DRINKIN’] Spittin’.

And don’t forget all that whorin' we’re gonna be doin’ jist as soon as we get us some whores here in Kansas territory. Generally doing what nature intended us.

[RED] That right, Morris?

It’s Mo, as in -

[DRINKIN’] Low Mo.

And jist so you know, Low Mo don’t appreciate no one steppin’ on his -

[DRINKIN’] Boots. Like you been doin’ here all day.

I was sayin’ ‘bout that Yankee smell. Which you ain’t smelled for yourself.

[RED] W’all stink the same dead.

But I’m talkin’ that moment right before dead - you got ‘em close, smell the fear mixin’ and minglin’ with the Yankee soap - like you surprised them in the middle of their washin’, dropped the soap right there on th’ ground. Dirt adherin’ to it. Jist like yer boots.

[RED] What about my boots?

I’m talkin’ ‘bout you, Red. What we heard ‘round McGreevy’s. And jist so you know -

[DRINKIN’] Mo’s boot ‘r’ small.

Pinch my feet, ‘specially in this heat.

[STINKIN’] Red’s feet ‘r’ big.

You ain’t smelled the smell of Yankee fear. have ya.

[RED] Who’s sayin’?

Got a taste for that -

[STINKIN’] Yankee pie.

What kinda Ruffian are ya, Red?

[DRINKIN’] Abolitionizin’ sympathizin’.

That’s what we heard.

[DRINKIN’] Shoot.

Round these parts, got to be sure where a man stands.

[DRINKIN’] Or lies.

So we gonna settle this now, Red, let me tell you how: I bet yer boots you can’t scalp an abolitionist before the sun sets.

[RED] Little late in the day to be makin’ such a wager.

What’s the matter - you yellow, Red?

[RED] What’s in it for me?

Bring us that Yankee scalp, and we’ll let you walk upright out of McGreevy’s - no mo’ questions asked - walk out of this here town of Lecompton, all the way back to Missouri. Now. We simpatico on that?

[DRINKIN’] I’ll watch yer red eye.

Oh, he’ll need his red eye.

[DRINKIN’] All afternoon you been lookin’ at his boots -

Shoot.

[DRINKIN’] But I been waitin’ on his whiskey!

Have you, Seymour?

[DRINKIN’] Cant take it with ya.

Don’t hold yer breath, Red. That moment, before your abolitionist drops like just another stinkin’ body. Don’t forget to breath.

[DRINKIN’] There he is.

Sorry to keep you waitin’, miss. Pretty pigtails ya got there.