Grief in Children / Family System

No comprehension

From birth to 2 years old, what is a child’s understanding of death?

Unable to understand finality of death

From 2-5 years old, what is a child’s understanding of death?

May understand death is final but not accept as something that happens to everyone

From 6-9 years old, what is a child’s understanding of death?

Death is final and inevitable

From 9-12 years old, what is a child’s understanding of death?

Early teens, 12-14

What age group may have difficulty understanding another person’s reaction to loss if it is not the same as theirs?

Middle teens, 14-16

What age group may express their grief by taking unhealthy risks such as driving too fast or drinking alcohol?

Late teens, 16-19

What age group of teens are more capable of understanding complex relationships and are more interested in other peoples’ point of view?

Dead

When describing death to a child, how should you describe the status of the deceased individual?

Only what child is ready to hear

What details should you share with a child about the death?

Over 2 million

It is estimated that how many children in the United States will experience the death of a parent before age 18?

80%

What percentage of children think about death at one time or another?

Recognize loss and acknowledge grief of each member, reorganize family roles, reinvest family members and maintain sense of connection with deceased

What are 3 essential tasks for the family system?

Cultural guilt

From the societal view that parents are to be the guardians of their children.

Causal guilt

Seen when the parent is responsible for the death of a child through some real or perceived negligence.

Moral guilt

Seen when a parent feels that death of their child is due to some moral infraction in the parent’s life.

Survival guilt

Found when parents question the child dying and not the parent.

Recovery guilt

When the parent moves through the grief of losing a child and wants to get on with life.