counseling test 2

listening can be a _______ & ________ gift

powerful & rare

to feel heard it ______ & ________ (children need this)

healing & transformative

speaking vs listening, which one is the most important (greatest power)

listening

many of us lack _______ listening skills

polished

________ & ability to listen ____________ significantly affect our work

willingness & empathetically

Luterman says " listening is the ________ to counseling"

gateway

foundation of therapeutic relationship; transcends what ____________

our ears hear

Maggiani: to perserve the pts agenda, to truly hear his needs, we must also use our ____ & _____ to pay him the deepest possible attention

eyes & hearts

Luterman: the professional sets aside his agenda in order to engage in _____, _______, & ________

deep, selfless, listening

one of the greatest gifts we can give is ________ _______

listening empathetically

in order to be a good clinician we have to be good ________

listeners

SLPs tend to orient toward _______ listening

active

we concentrate so hard on looking as if we are listening that we forget to ______

listen

how do some students act when first learning about listening?

resistance

we often understand _______ listening mistakes

common

listening skills may feel ________

unnatural

it is common to assure our listening habits are just ______, _______, & _______ until we learn how much better they could be

fine, typical, acceptable

shafirs deep empathetic listening is ______ for health care professionals

rare

what is a reasoning of shafirs book

her own professional burnout & lack of effective listening in her workplace

what is shafirs book called

The ZEN of Listening

what are the 3 levels of listening

internal listening, focused listening, global listening

mastering all levels of listening improves our ______ & _______ during the counseling process especially during levels 2 & 3

presence, confidence

internal listening: focus on ______ & how other peoples words _______ ___ ____

me, relate to me

______ listening is egotistical

internal

focused listening: complete attention by speakers _______ & their meaning; like a ___________ ________ that requires full concentration; breath vs words; pathway to full ______; functions as a _______ reflecting pt words so he can hear himself

words, meditative process, presence, mirror

what level of listening is when we view the patient as our equal

level II, focused listening

global listening: listen with all sense of _______ of pts eye contact, expressions, intonations, body language & posture, mood & energy; fully engage in our emotional _________ & ________

awareness, intelligence, intuition

________ helps us tune in to our intuition

meditation

what is our job when concerning listening:

to move everyone to level II & III

listening __________ interfere with empathetic & effective listening

roadblocks

what are some examples of listening roadblocks

mind chatter, hijacking, already always listen

____________: visualize turning down a dial in our minds;make your mind blank (bundling & compartmentalizing)

mind chatter

___________________: aka shifting the focus to ourselves; avoid interupting; changing the topic or direction w/o warning or agreement

hijacking the agenda

__________________: making assumptions instead of listening; interferes w/ flow of communication; based on perceptions

already always listening

we often perceive people based on _________ & we need to love the hardest child the _______

perception, most

have to/need to=

choose to OR I get to

but= underlying ambivalence; but ________ whatever precedes it

negates

lucky=

good

we=

I

we need to avoid _______ nouns, such as men or women

collective

should/ought/must=

prefer, want, or choose to

I can do this/I'm not good at this=

this is challenging, ill get it, im still learning, ill keep at it

practice changing sentences that contain ______, ______, or _____

although, however, but

_______ is critical

timing

emotional triggers shuts down _______

listening

when others words stir our insecurities & then we become defensive; become all about us; narrow perspective filter: ____________

emotional triggers

when we have an emotional trigger we tend to surround ourselves with those who only ____________________, we have to self manage this

think like we do

multitasking: _________ to deep listen & do something else at the same time

impossible

when we listen fully it demonstrates ______ & ______

value & respect

for children, deep listening = _______

love

scot peck says we cant _________

multitask

overcoming ______ keeps us in inauthentic & ineffective listening

roadblocks

when overcoming roadblocks, we need to take personal ________ in listening; turn down volume of ___________ and recognize our ________ & ________

responsibility, mind chatter, filters, assumptions

when overcoming roadblocks:

- ask curious & _____ questions

- wait our turn & avoid _______ and overreactions

- if you must interrupt _____ the speaker

- how to ask for ________

- check in & ______

- admit if you need a ________

- make a _____ in the moment between listening & multitasking

open, interruptions, alert, clarification, reflect, reception, choice

silence & the creative pause is important but we ________ it

undervalue

what do we fear about the silence & creative pause

that we will lose the audience

the silence & creative pause gives _______ & ______ in many cultures

wisdom, power

we dont use the silent and creative pause because most times we want to ________________

fill the perceived void

we need to _____ the silence & creative pause

value

creative pause: break in conversation that may ________ a powerful impact; possess, access, organize, and enhance

yield

we must attend parents ability to ______

listen

luterman says we as clinicians should avoid spouting technical information to the parent when first discussing the childs difficulty instead we should encourage parents to ____________

ask questions

why do people usually ask questions

they are ready to know the answer or they already know the answer

what does Dr. Reed do during the second session

she gives more time for the parents to ask questions because usually they have more questions in the second session than the first because the parent has went home and researched

it is important for us to realize _______ and the influence they have

grandparents

children need to learn to _____

listen

what are some listening skills for children

be still and make eye contact

it is hard for a PWS to discuss listening because alot of times they are

thinking about what they are going to say next because they dont want to stutter

life cycle approach can be used for repairing _______

relationships

ID: is all about ______, operates on ______ principle; infants

me, pleasure

EGO: morals; ______ from ______

right from wrong

Superego: its not all about me, there is a _______ area, realizing that other people see thing ______

gray, differently

erik erikson trained w/ Anna Freud as a _________

psychoanalysts

erik erikson _________ to the us

immigrated

erik erikson was very interested in how _________ shapes personality, carefully observing the life cycle

culture

the life cycle model is useful when examining the ego qualities that emerge during critical periods of _________ from childhood to adulthood

development

each successive stage of the life cycle model has a special relationship to a basic ______ ___ _____

element of society

each stage of ego development = ____________

a crisis

the stages represent a ________ where the child establishes ego development features; a hierarchy in which each developmental issue is present in the previous stage & is further worked out in subsequent stages

continuum

________: a house w a bad/poor foundation

analogy

each stage is a _______ w/ the usual outcome being balance between the two extremes

duality

true or false

there are no clear distinct markers between life cycle stages

true

ego maturation is a _______ process to describe and understand q

difficult

generativity helps with all of _______

society

true or false

growing old means growing wise

FALSE

______ is the foundation for all healthy relationships

trust

credibility is earned and conveyed by our _______

behavior

reassurance (telling pt what they want to hear) is a quick way to _______ credibility

lose

early information is often ____ ________ because the affect is so high

not remembered

_______ first, ______ second

feelings, content

there are many sources of ________

anger

anger= ________ _____ _________

violation of expectations

men tend to turn their anger _______ and women tend to turn their anger _______

outward, inward

establish trust _______ to help with anger

early

sometimes asking for help will make you feel _________ which usually can turn into anger

powerless

- caregivers of the disabled children tend to want to fix it

- caregivers may be angry with the child

- caregivers may have a standard for performance

- especially the ________

Dads

anger and _____ are often related

fear

if you are verbally attacked by caregivers:

- respond __________

- be ________

- be aware of defense mechanisms

- maintain eye contact

- allow them to blow off steam

- pause

- offer ____________ or reflections

- allow to "save face"

- return to successful tx tasks

- positively

- poised

- empathetic statements

rage & physical abuse is _____

rare

never put yourself between an adult & the _____ when treating adults in therapy: usually need to watch _____ and __________ patients

door; TBI & Dysphagia