One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest auditions -- Nurse Ratched

McMurphy: Well, then? (Nurse Ratched has come out of the station and approached the group)

Nurse Ratched: Haven’t you gentlemen work to do?

McMurphy: Sure, but right now we got a special meeting to the Patients’ Council

Nurse Ratched: Called by whom? (A pause, then unsteadily as Nurse Ratched turns her eyes on him)

Harding: That’s right, Miss Ratched

Nurse Ratched: For what purpose?

McMurphy: For the purpose of takin’ a re-vote on changing TV time to afternoon!

Nurse Ratched: I see

McMurphy: Okay, boys—!

Nurse Ratched: One moment! Do any of you feel, perhaps, that Mr. McMurphy is imposing his personal desires on you? I’ve been thinking you might be happier if he were moved to another ward

Cheswik: That’s right

Nurse Ratched: (To McMurphy) You’re certain one more vote will satisfy you?

McMurphy: I just wanta see once and for all which of these birds has any guts and which hasn’t

Nurse Ratched: Very well, everyone in favor of changing television time to afternoon, raise your hands. (The hands come up… Billy’s a little slower than the others. Finally all are raised but the Chief’s)

McMurphy: Batter up!

Nurse Ratched: One moment, please! The rules call for a unanimous vote

McMurphy: So that’s how you work this democratic bull. Of all the crappy things I ever heard—!

Nurse Ratched: (Calmly) You seem upset, Mr. McMurphy. I’ll have to make a note of that

McMurphy: Hold on—!

Nurse Ratched: The meeting is closed

McMurphy: … Chief, come on out here. Chief, it’s now or never. We’re men or we’re monkeys, we make or we break. Get your hand up now.

Nurse Ratched: Don’t be ridiculous, the poor man can’t even hear you

Announcer’s Voice: And he swings! At a bad pitch, oh my, and the count is three and two with the tying run on second base. It’s the bottom of the sixth…a hit and run situation…here comes the windup. It’s a—

(In the station, Nurse Ratched has opened a panel on the wall behind the desk and thrown a switch. The TV cuts off abruptly. McMurphy comes to his feet)

Nurse Ratched: (On the microphone) The meeting was closed. (McMurphy starts towards her)

Harding: (A warning) Mac.

Nurse Ratched: You men will now go back to your duties. (No one moves) Did you hear me?

McMurphy: Don’t move, Billy—sit down.

Nurse Ratched: Did you hear me?

Opening of the audition

Nurse Ratched: No, Mr. Scanlon, he is in the Recovery Room and will be back very shortly. (Silence, and she smiles around the room, holding up the memorandum) This, gentlemen, is a record of Mr. McMurphy’s gains in the short time he has been croupier of his little Monte Carlo here on the ward. How much did you lose, Billy? Mr. Harding? I think you all have some idea of what your personal losses were, but do you know what Mr. McMurphy’s winnings come to? According to deposits he has made, over three hundred dollars. (Billy whistles) I just thought it would be better if there were no delusions about his motives.

McMurphy: … And here, ladeez and gennelmun, right here in front of your eyes, the Wild Man who dotes on high voltage and eats three aides for breakfast each and every morning! (… Not satisfied, McMurphy roars back until the Chief responds with a full-bodied roar)

Nurse Ratched: Mr. McMurphy. We are in the middle of a meeting

McMurphy: Oh, do continue. Who we tearin’ up today?

Nurse Ratched: Since you found it so enjoyable, perhaps a few more treatments…?

McMurphy: … I bet if we doubled the charge, I could pick up Channel Eight!

Nurse Ratched: Doctor.

Dr. Spivey: Miss Ratched?

Nurse Ratched: I’d like to withdraw that suggestion as to further shock

McMurphy: Oh-h!

Nurse Ratched: Yes… I think it might be appropriate to consider…surgical procedure?

McMurphy: Ma’am?

Nurse Ratched: An operation. Quite simple, really. We’ve had an excellent record in aggressive cases.

McMurphy: Aggressive? Why, ma’am, I’m friendly as a pup. There’s no cause to do any cuttin’

Nurse Ratched: (Smiling, friendly) Randle, there’s no cutting involved. We simply—

Dr. Spivey: Haw! (The men laugh, too. Dr. Spivey rises to leave)

Nurse Ratched: One moment, Doctor. I should like to return to the subject.

Dr. Spivey: What subject?

Nurse Ratched: The question of surgical procedure for Patient McMurphy

Dr. Spivey: Not warranted except in cases of uncontrollable violence

Nurse Ratched: He has exhibited violence

Dr. Spivey: … I do not approve surgical procedure in the absence of recurrent violences

Nurse Ratched: (Tightly) And if it should recur?

Dr. Spivey: Then…we may reconsider. Mr. McMurphy — I would bear that in mind (exits)

Nurse Ratched: (Smiling brightly) Behave yourself, boys. (She exits, followed by the Aides)