Self-Concept vs Self-Esteem

• Self-esteem - also referred to self-worth or self-image – how you FEEL about your self-concept / attributes

• In school-age confidence in own abilities wavers and often declines initially.

  • This is expected as self-evaluations become more realistic

• Children at this age receive many forms of feedback that are more goal- directed and less inflated

  • Teachers, organized activities such as sports, choir, competitive teams

Meaningful Praise

• Meaningful, consistent and accurate praise and support help with development of coping mechanisms, resiliency in times of stress, fosters independence and positive self-worth

• Focus on accurate and supportive descriptions

• Compliment and support process over outcome

• Praise the effort, creativity over the actual grade or artwork

  • Example: “Great job – I know you really studied hard for your test and you did well- I am so proud of your hard work” ; “I love the way you used those colors! Can you tell me more about your painting?”

• Self-esteem may increase when parents make children feel loved, show respect for and involvement with their interests, help them think about things they’ve experienced, and help them understand how they feel about those events than by any kind of praise

Parenting

• Quality counts – research shown that spending 5-10 minutes a day of individual quality time PER child has numerous social-emotional benefits

• Invest in relationship.

  • Take time to ask children open-ended questions, look together at baby pictures, videos memories for special time with child

  • Involve child in daily activities, chores, responsibilities in home

• In middle childhood children do what some call “co-regulate” – parent exercises oversight, while children enjoy autonomy of making day to day decisions and experiencing related emotions.

Developing Positive Self Esteem

• Acknowledge and validate

  • Focus on the process and not the outcome

  • Acknowledge and validate Feelings of frustration or low self-worth

• Set realistic goals

  • Do NOT overly deny and/ or praise. Be realistic to the situation. (can’t promise a child that the first day of school will be AMAZING but can reinforce their ability to handle it, learn, small goals)

• Demonstrate success

  • Set up opportunities for child success. Allow opportunities for child to demonstrate what they have learned, remind child of prior successes or “anchors”

• Independence and autonomy

  • Respect child and foster independence – give responsibilities, choices.

• Belongingness

  • Create environments that lead children to be aware of and embrace their unique

Personality Development

• Erikson’s 4th psychosocial stage : Industry versus Inferiority

• Children with a sense of industry may tell themselves that if they work hard, use their knowledge and skills, they can be productive. They are curious and interested in how things are made, understanding facts , and acquiring skills including academic skills.

• Contrastingly, a child who does not develop a sense of “industry” may view themselves as incapable or unable to accomplish. They instead may develop a sense of ‘inferiority’ , as a self- evaluation and relative to their peers

• Children’s relationships with parents and teachers are important in this stage for development of industry