COM Final Exam

1. Areas of difference between men and women in communication

• Self-disclosure (women more)

• haptics/touching (women more)

• Proxemics (guys need more space, women prefer to be closer together)

• Aggressive behavior (men more)

• Emotional expression (women more)

• Eye contact (women more)

• Love (women more) romance (men more)

• Perception (view the world differently)

~Women give landmarks when giving directions

~Men give miles, North, South, etc.

• Sex role and stereotypes

~Women: cook, wash, clean

~Men: trash, other chores, heavy lifting

2. Conflict Management Styles

• Avoidance: low concern for both task and social relationship

• Accommodation: high concern for social relationship but low concern for task

• Compromise: moderate concern for both task and social relationship

• Competition: high concern for task, low for relationship

• Collaboration: high concern for task and social relationship

In Book

• Win Lose and Win Win

~Win-Lose: avoid, as much as possible strategies that result in one person losing

~Win-Win: try for strategies in which both individuals win, most desirable

• Avoidance: emotional or intellectual avoidance, leave the conflict psychologically

• Nonnegotiation: refuse to direct any attention to managing the conflict or listen to the other person’s argument

• Silencers:  unproductive conflict strategies (such as crying) that slice your opponent

• Force and talk

• Face-Attacking: attack a person’s positive face (criticizm) or negative face (making demands)

• Face-Enhancing: support a person’s positive (praise) or negative face (giving space)

• Beltlining: one person hits another at a vulnerable level

• Verbal Aggressiveness: one person tries to win an argument by inflicting psychological pain and attacking the other person’s self concept

3. Transactional Model of Communication

• Communication is mutual and reciprocal

• Communication is simultaneous

• Communication is inevitable

• Communication is context-bound

• Communication is irreversible

• Meaning is shared, if it is not shared, there is no meaning

4. Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis

Language is a guide to social reality, or language shapes our social reality

5. Edward Hall’s Definition of Communication Distances

• Public

• Social

• Personal

• Private

6. Meaning Location and Meaning Types

• Denotative: the objective definition, how something has been defined

• Connotative: subjective or emotional meaning, your experience and understanding

7. Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

• Continuous

• Multiple channels

• Under control part of the time

• Unstructured or less structured

• Not taught, imitating

• More ambiguous and up for interpretation

8. Power Bases

• Legitimate power:  power a person possesses because others believe he or she has a right—by virtue of his or her position—to influence or control their behavior

• Reward power:  power derived from an individual’s ability to give another person what that person wants or to remove what that person wants removed

• Coercive power: power derived from an individual’s ability to punish or to remove rewards from another person

• Expert power:  power that a person has because others believe the individual to have expertise or special knowledge

• Referent power: power that a person possesses because others desire to identify with or be like that individual, depends greatly on attractiveness and prestige

• Information or persuasive power: power that a person has because others see that individual as having significant information and the ability to communicate logically and persuasively

9. Principles of Power

• Power is a relationship concept

• Some people are more powerful than others

• Power can be shared

• Power can be increased or decreased

• Power follows the principle of less interest

• Power generates privileges

• Power has a cultural dimension 

10. Stages of Relationship Development and Deterioration

Development:

• Contact: perceptual contact

• Involvement: sense of mutuality

• Intimacy: commit yourself further, becomes best friend, lover, etc., commitment is made public

• Deterioration: weakening of bonds between friends or lovers

• Repair: comes after sensing deterioration

• Dissolution: bonds between the individuals are broken, separation

Deterioration:

• Interpersonal dissatisfaction:  you begin to experience personal dissatisfaction with everyday interactions and begin to view the future with your partner more negatively

• Intrapersonal deterioration: you withdraw and grow further and further apart, you share less of your free time, when you're together there are more awkward silences, fewer disclosures, less physical contact, and a lack of psychological closeness

11. Theories about Developing Relationships

Attraction Theory: we tend to develop relationships with those whom we consider attractive

Factors for attraction

~Physical and personality attraction

~Proximity

~Similarity

~Complementarity

• Social Exchange Theory: we enter relationships which enable us to maximize profits, relationships from which we get more profits than cost

• Equity Theory: we develop relationships in which the ratio of our rewards and cost is relatively equitable

• Relationship Rules Theory: when rules are followed, relationships are maintained; when rules are broken, the relationship is in trouble

• Relationship Dialectics Theory: relationships experience conflicts over, for example, the desire to be free and the desire to be connected

• Social Penetration Theory: As relationships move toward intimacy, the breath and depth of communication increases

• Politeness Theory: politeness increases; positive and negative face needs are met

12. Primary Relationships and their Characteristics

• Primary relationship: denotes the relationship between the two principal parties (husband and wife, the lovers, the domestic partners, etc.)

13. Love Types

• Eros: beauty and sexuality

• Ludus: entertainment and excitement

• Storge: peaceful and slow

• Pragma: practical and traditional

• Manie: elation and depression

• Agape: compassionate and selfless

STAGES:

First stage: eros, mania, and ludus (initial attraction)

Second stage: storge (as the relationship develops)

Third stage: pragma (as relationship bonds develop)

14. Reasons for Establishing Relationships

• To understand others….reduce uncertainty

• To understand ourselves

• To understand our world…help us shape our attitudes

• To fulfill our needs

~Inclusion: the need to be connected with those around us

~Affection: the need to be liked and to like in return

~Control: the need to influence others, our environment, and ourselves

15. Communication Patterns in Primary Relationships and Family

• The Equality Pattern: each person shares equally in the communication transactions, roles played by each are equal

• The Balanced Split Pattern: each person has authority over different domains, each person is seen as an expert or a decision maker in different areas

• The Unbalanced Split Pattern: one person dominates, seen as an expert in more than half of the areas of mutual communication

• The Monopoly Pattern: one person is seen as the authority, lectures rather than communicates

16. Independent Couples vs. Separate Couples

• Independent couples: stress their individuality, relationship is important but never more important than each person’s individual identity

• Separate couples:  live together but view their relationship more as a matter of convenience than a result of their mutual love or closeness

17. Frequently Mentioned Ways of Communicating in the Text

• Share emotions and experiences

• Speak tenderly with an extra degree of politeness

• Exaggerate virtues and minimize faults

• Personalized communication: secrets kept from others, inside jokes and messages

• Personal idioms and pet names

• Significant self-disclosure

• More constructive conflict resolution strategies

• Expressing supportiveness

• Touch more frequently and intimately

• Prolonged eye contact and other nonverbal messages

18. Types of Friendship

• Friendship of reciprocity: ideal type, characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity, based on equality: shares giving and receiving benefits and rewards

• Friendship of receptivity: imbalance in giving and receiving, one person is the primary giver and one is the primary receiver 

• Friendship of association: a friendly relationship rather than a true friendship, often have with classmates, neighbors, or coworkers

19. Friendship Needs

• Utility: someone who may have special talents, skills, or resources that prove useful to you

• Affirmation: someone who affirms your personal value and helps you to recognize your attributes

• Ego support: someone who behaves in a supportive, encouraging, and helpful manner

• Stimulation: someone who introduces you to new ideas and ways of seeing the world

• Security: someone who does nothing to hurt you or to call attention to your weaknesses

20. Friendship, Culture, and Gender

CULTURE AND FRIENDSHIPS

• In the US you can be friends with someone yet never really be expected to go out of your way for that person

• Asians, Latin Americans: consider going significantly out of their way an absolutely essential ingredient in friendship

• Friendships are closer in collectivist cultures than in individualist cultures

GENDER AND FRIENDSHIPS

• Women engage in more affectional behaviors with their friends than males

• Men have greater difficulty in beginning and maintaining close friendships

• Women rate same-sex friendships higher in quality, intimacy, enjoyment and nurturance than men

• Men rate opposite-sex friendships higher in quality

21. Love, Culture, and Gender

• Your culture and gender influence the type of love that you seek

22. Three Types of Relationship Violence

• Verbal or emotional abuse: humiliation, economic abuse, isolating, criticizing, or stalking

• Physical abuse: threats of violence as well as pushing, hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, throwing things or breaking things

• Sexual abuse: touching that is unwanted, accusations of sexual infidelity without reason forced sex, and references to you in abusive sexual terms

23. Verbal Aggressiveness

• Verbal aggressiveness: one person tries to win an argument by inflicting psychological pain and attacking the other person’s self concept