Basic Listening Skills: Attending, Empathy, and Observing Client Verbal and Nonverbal Behavior
Q: What’s Chapter 3 about?
A: The basics of listening:
Attending (how you show you’re paying attention)
Empathy (feeling with the client)
Observation (noticing what’s really going on)
Q: Why is this chapter important?
A: These skills are the foundation → you can’t do advanced counseling without good listening first.
👀 Attending Skills
Q: What are the 4 parts of attending?
A:
Eye contact 👁
Body language 💃
Voice tone 🎤
Verbal tracking (sticking with client’s story) 🗣
Q: Why adjust attending in different cultures?
A: Because what works in one culture may feel rude or awkward in another.
💜 Empathy
Q: What’s empathy?
A: Showing clients you “get” their feelings + view.
Q: What does empathy do?
A: Builds trust, makes clients feel safe, helps them open up.
👂 Observation
Q: What’s observation?
A: Watching + listening for clues: body language, tone, emotions, contradictions.
Q: Why observe?
A: Helps you notice what’s unsaid and guides your next steps.
🧩 Microskills Pyramid
Q: What’s at the base of the pyramid?
A: Ethics, cultural awareness, and attending behaviors.
Q: Why start with attending?
A: Because without it, nothing else (like questioning or reframing) really works.
🌍 Culture Matters
Q: Why is cultural awareness important in listening?
A: Because meaning changes across cultures → eye contact, silence, personal space can mean very different things.
Q: Example?
A: Eye contact = respect in some cultures, disrespect in others.
🔄 Practice & Self-Check
Q: How can I practice attending?
A: Record yourself → watch for your posture, eye contact, and tone.
Q: How can I practice empathy?
A: Do role-plays, get feedback: “Did you feel heard?”
🤔 Reflect
Q: How might your “default” listening style need to change with different clients?
A: Adjust things like eye contact, silence, or body language.
Q: What’s one time you picked up on a client’s unspoken feelings?
A: Think of a moment where observation told you more than words.