Notes from Lecture on Love, Relationships, and Singlehood

Recap of Last Week

• Concepts covered:
• Need to belong
• Ostracism
• Phubbing
• Interpersonal attraction (liking)
• Physical attraction and averageness
• Familiarity, proximity, similarity, trust

Current Week's Overview

• Key topics:
• Typologies of love
• Benefits of relationships
• Investment Model of relationships
• Relationship dissolutions
• Pros and cons of relationships
• The Couple Norm & Singlism
• Fear of being single
• Relationship status and well-being

Typologies of Love

A Dichotomy of Love (Hatfield, 1982)

• Passionate Love:

• Also known as romantic love, infatuation, or obsessive love.

• Defined as an intense longing for union with another person.

• Involves strong emotions like desire, excitement, and jealousy.

• Map relationships to reward and pleasure brain regions (Fisher, 2004).

• Companionate Love:

• Characterized by affection, trust, intimacy, and commitment.

• Less intense than passionate love but involves deeper emotional bonds.

Changes Over Time (Hatfield et al., 2008)

• Research shows relational dynamics differ between men and women over time, especially post-marriage affecting feelings of love and companionship.

Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg, 1986)

• Three components:
• Passion: Sexual excitement and attraction.
• Commitment: Decision to maintain the relationship.
• Intimacy: Emotional closeness.
• Leads to seven possible types of love:
• Non-Love
• Infatuation
• Empty Love
• Liking
• Fatuous Love
• Romantic Love
• Companionate Love
• Consummate Love (ideal blend of all elements)

Attraction or Anxiety? (Dutton and Aron, 1974)

• Experiment on a bridge illustrates the excitement transfer effect:
• Men approached by an attractive woman on high/low bridges.
• High bridge led to more sexual imagery and follow-up calls – misattribution of fear as attraction.

Benefits of Relationships (Apostolou et al., 2023)

• Multiple studies revealed consistent perceived benefits of relationships across demographic groups.

Investment Model of Relationships (Rusbult, 1980)

• Factors influencing relationship maintenance:
• Investment: Time, energy, resources spent in relationships.
• Satisfaction Level: Positive evaluation of the relationship.
• Quality of Alternatives: Better options available if single or in other relationships.
• Commitment: Decision to stay.
• Key Insight: Satisfaction may wane but commitment is influenced by investments and alternatives.

Unhappy and Abusive Relationships

• Research highlighted why people stay in abusive relationships:
• Satisfaction levels vs. investment size and quality of alternatives significantly predicts commitment (Rusbult & Martz, 1995).

Breaking Up: Emotional Impact

• Break-ups trigger various emotional responses:
• Higher levels of anger and sadness in individuals who broke up compared to those still in relationships.
• Emotional responses typically decline over time (Sbarra and Emery, 2005).

Benefits of Break-ups

• Positive outcomes often follow break-ups:
• Individuals can feel relief, freedom, personal growth, and improved life circumstances (Sbarra et al., 2015).

The Couple Norm (

• Societal views that favor coupledom and stigmatize singlehood:
• Assumptions that being partnered is normal and superior.
• Ideals of marriage lead to societal rewards for couples, such as legal and financial benefits.

Singlism

• Definition: Discrimination against singles, characterized by negative stereotypes and societal pressures.
• This creates a deficit view of singlehood, emphasizing the benefits of relationships while ignoring the positives of being single.

Fear of Being Single (FOBS; Spielmann et al., 2013)

• Definition and implications:
• Anxiety about being without a romantic partner.
• Linked to dependency on poor relationships and less selectivity in dating choices.

Research Ideas

• Investigating factors that influence FOBS and its impact on relationship quality and individual well-being.

Summary

• Relationships present various typologies and emotional outcomes.
• Investment Models explain commitment behaviors, even in abusive situations.
• Society pressures regarding relationship status contribute to stigmas surrounding singlehood and influence individual choices.

Readings/References

• Apostolou et al., 2023
• Watkins et al., 2024
• Girme et al., 2022
• Spielmann et al., 2013, 2020