COM: Second Exam

Obstacles to communicating emotions

• Social and Cultural Customs: Social and cultural customs that regard certain emotions as inappropriate

• Fear: Fear of appearing weak or being rejected

• Inadequate Interpersonal Skills: Inadequate interpersonal skills that create doubt about how to express emotions

• Principles governing emotions and emotional expression

• Emotions occur in stages

• Emotions may be primary or blended

• Emotions involve both body and mind

• Emotions are influenced by a variety of factors

• Emotional expression uses multiple channels

• Emotional expression is governed by display rules

• Emotions may be adaptive and maladaptive

• Emotions can be used strategically

• Emotions have consequences

• Emotions are contagious

  Four dimensions of cultural values

• Individualism vs. Collectivism

• Power Distance

• Uncertainty Avoidance

• Feminity/Masculinity

  High and Low Context cultures as identified by Hall

• Low-Context: say most things explicitly

• High-Context: more non-verbal, contextual cues

1. Basis for effective communication

• Open: greeting

• Feedforward: preview of the conversation’s focus

• Business: used to emphasize that the conversation is goal-directed

• Feedback: reflect on the conversation to signal that the business is completed

• Closing: goodbye

1. Conversational maxims

• Quantity maxim: speakers are only as informative as necessary to communicate their intended meanings

• Quality maxim: saying what they think is true and not saying what they think is false

• Relation maxim: talking about what is relevant and not talking about what is not relevant

• Manner maxim: being clear and organizing their thoughts into meaningful and coherent patterns

1. Approaches to starting conversations

• Start with some kind of greeting

• Phatic communication: message that establishes a connection between two people and opens up channels for more meaningful interaction

1. Factors influencing self-disclosure

• Who you are: extroverted vs. introverted, apprehensive about talking vs. comfortable in communicating, competent vs. less competent

• Your culture: cultural norms

• Your gender: women disclose more than men

• Your listeners: disclose to people you like, trust, and love, dyadic effect: what one person does, so will the other

• Your topic: more likely to disclose about job rather than sex life

• Your media: face-to-face, email, over the phone, etc.

1. Guidelines for self-disclosure

• Self-disclosing:

~Consider the motivation, the appropriateness, and specific disclosures of the other person

~Consider the possible burdens that self-disclosure might entail

• Facilitating and responding to self-disclosures:

~Practice the skills of effective and active listening

~Support and reinforce the discloser

~Be willing to reciprocate

~Keep the disclosures confidential

~Don't use the disclosures against the person

• Resisting pressure to self-disclose:

~Dont be pushed

~Be indirect and move to another topic

~Be assertive in your refusal to disclose

1. Characteristics of self-disclosure

• Is a combination of verbal and nonverbal communication

• “Appropriate self-disclosure” avoids the two extremes of under-disclosing and over-disclosing

• Relatively few communication transactions involve high levels of disclosure

• Self-disclosure usually occurs in dyads (two parties, 1 on 1)

• Tends to be reciprocal (the dyadic effect)

• Self-disclosure between sexes tends to differ

1. Preventing conversational problems: the disclaimers

• Detour taker: talks about a topic then switches topics

• Monologist: gives speeches rather than dialogue

• Complainer: has many complaints

• Moralist: evaluates and judges everyone and everything

• Inactive responder: gives no reaction regardless of what you say

• Storyteller: tells stories too often, doesn’t give time for the other person to talk

• Egosit: talks only about topics that are self-related

• Thought completer: “knows” exactly what you are going to say and says it for you

• Advisor: regularly and consistently gives you advice, whether you want it or not

1. Relationship theories

• Attraction Theory: we tend to develop relationships with those whom we consider attractive

Factors for attraction

~Physical and personality attraction

~Proximity

~Similarity

~Complementarity

• Social Exchange Theory: we enter relationships which enable us to maximize profits, relationships from which we get more profits than cost

• Equity Theory: we develop relationships in which the ratio of our rewards and cost is relatively equitable

• Relationship Rules Theory: when rules are followed, relationships are maintained; when rules are broken, the relationship is in trouble

• Relationship Dialectics Theory: relationships experience conflicts over, for example, the desire to be free and the desire to be connected

• Social Penetration Theory: As relationships move toward intimacy, the breath and depth of communication increases

• Politeness Theory: politeness increases; positive and negative face needs are met

1. Reasons for interpersonal relationships

• To understand others….reduce uncertainty

• To understand ourselves

• To understand our world…help us shape our attitudes

• To fulfill our needs

~Inclusion: the need to be connected with those around us

~Affection: the need to be liked and to like in return

~Control: the need to influence others, our environment, and ourselves

1. Parasocial relationships

• Relationships that audience members perceive themselves to have with media personalities

1. Relationship stages

• Contact: perceptual contact

• Involvement: sense of mutuality

• Intimacy: commit yourself further, becomes best friend, lover, etc., commitment is made public

• Deterioration: weakening of bonds between friends or lovers

• Repair: comes after sensing deterioration

• Dissolution: bonds between the individuals are broken, separation

1. Stages of relationship deterioration

• Interpersonal dissatisfaction: you begin to experience personal dissatisfaction with everyday interactions and begin to view the future with your partner more negatively

• Intrapersonal deterioration: you withdraw and grow further and further apart, you share less of your free time, when you're together there are more awkward silences, fewer disclosures, less physical contact, and a lack of psychological closeness

1. Dealing with a breakup

• Break the loneliness-depression cycle

• Take time out

• Bolster your self-esteem

• Remove or avoid uncomfortable relationship symbols

• Become mindful of your own relationship patterns

1. Factors that contribute to good interpersonal relationships

• Communication

• Similarities, at least in some ways

• Equal contribution

• Empathy

• Respect

• Trust

• Behavioral flexibility/ability to adapt

1. Causes of interpersonal relationship deterioration

• Poor communication

• Third-party relationships

• Relationship changes

• Sex and work-related problems

• Financial difficulties

• Beliefs about relationships

1. Interpersonal repair in relationships

• Recognize the problem

• Engage in productive communication and conflict resolution

• Pose possible solutions

• Affirm each other

• Integrate solutions into normal behavior

• Risk: take risks in improving your relationship

1. Understanding empathy as an interpersonal skill

• Be clear

• Focus

• Reflect

• Disclose

• Address mixed messages

• Adknowledge importance