13.4 The Role of Parents in Children’s Peer Relationships

• Parents affect children’s peer relationships, both indirectly (through their interactions with their children) ans directly (through monitoring and coaching)

• Early parent-child interactions are linked to children’s peer interactions at an older age 

Relations Between Attachment and Competence with Peers 

Secure attachment 

• Promotes competence with peers in at least 3 ways 

1. Develop positive social expectations and are thus inclined to interact readily with other children, expecting these interactions to be positive and rewarding 

2. Because of their experience with sensitive and responsive caregiver, they develop the foundation for understanding reciprocity in relationships 

3. Are likely to be self-regulated, confident, enthusiastic, and friendly – characteristics that are attractive to other children and that facilitates social interaction 

Insecure attachment 

• Likely to impair a child’s competence with peers 

• Hostile themselves and expect negative behavior from other people 

• Expect rejection from other people and may try to avoid experiencing it by withdrawing from peer interaction onstead 

• Have difficulties with peer relationships 

• Security of the parent-child relationship is linked with quality of peer relationships 

• This link probably arises from both the early and the continuing effect that parent-child attachment has on the quality of social behavior, as well as children’s working models of relationships 

• Also possible that the individual characteristics of each child influence both the quality of attachments and the quality of their relationships with peers 

Quality of Ongoing Parent-Child Interactions and Peer Relationships

• Associated with peer relations in much the same way as attachment patterns are

• Socially competent, popular children tend to have mothers who are warm in general 

• Ongoing father-child interactions – can play to role in child peer relationships

• Fathers’ warmth and affection toward child have been linked to child peer acceptance in elementary school 

• When family is generally characterized by a warm, involved and harmonious family style, young children tend to be sociable, socially skilled, liked by peers and cooperative in childcare 

• Occur because such parenting fosters self-recognition   

• Harsh, authoritarian discipline and low levels of child monitoring is often associated with children’s being unpopular and victimized 

• Parents can also serve as a buffer when their children’s peer relationships are not going well