Raised Without Gender

Introduction to Gender Perspectives in Sweden

Sweden is recognized for its progressive approach to gender discussions. The use of the gender-neutral pronoun "hen" has become common, and government-funded gender-neutral kindergartens have sparked varied perspectives in foreign media. There is growing recognition of non-binary and transgender identities among youth.

Growing Up Outside the Gender Binary

The narrator explores a gender-neutral upbringing with a Swedish family. Del, an American photographer who identifies as intersex and non-binary, and their partner Matilda, strive to raise their children, Mika and Nico, free from traditional gender norms. They do not gender toys or colors, allowing children to choose freely among toys, including cars and dolls.

Family Dynamics and Parenting Approaches

Mika, nearly five, often chooses dresses and has long hair, resulting in occasional misgendering. The family is relaxed about this, using "she" or "hen" interchangeably with "he." They chose not to disclose their children’s sex at birth and use gender-neutral names, adapting stories to be more inclusive.

Grandparent’s Perspective

Margareta, Del's partner's mother, reflects on differing views on gender expression within her generation. While initially resistant to her son wearing a dress to kindergarten, she grew more accepting over time, expressing concerns about societal acceptance.

Experiences in Kindergarten

Mika embodies a non-binary identity and shows indifference toward gendered labels. Peers at kindergarten demonstrate early understanding and acceptance of fluid gender identities.

Educational Perspectives

Egalia, Sweden’s first gender-neutral kindergarten, provides an inclusive environment beyond just gender, emphasizing non-traditional education and freedom of expression while avoiding gender stereotypes.

Criticism of Gender Neutral Teaching

Critics, like Dr. Erberhard, argue that gender neutrality might ignore inherent gender differences, highlighting the importance of acknowledging traditional roles without stigmatizing typical behaviors for boys and girls.

Children’s Perspectives on Gender

Observations suggest children are comfortable blending genders and prioritizing interests and skills over physical traits, which appears to reduce sexism and fosters open discussions on identities.

Societal Reception and Personal Experiences

Del faces challenges in public concerning societal perceptions of their family and children’s appearances. They reflect on past struggles with gender identity and the importance of allowing their children freedom of exploration without societal backlash.

Concerns About Future Challenges

Del considers the potential challenges Mika may face in traditional schooling, emphasizing communication and empowerment for handling negative reactions from peers.

Conclusion and Reflection

The narrative suggests that while adult views on gender vary, children’s perspectives are generally more flexible. A gradual shift away from rigid gender norms may emerge as children are supported in navigating their identities independently.