Epictetus – Excerpts from Enchiridion (Key Concepts)
1. Things in our control vs. things not in our control
Core distinction: Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in a word, whatever are not our own actions.
Nature of control vs. lack of control:
In our control: by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered.
Not in our control: weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others.
Practical implication: if you suppose that things slavish by nature are free and that what belongs to others is your own, you will be hindered, lament, be disturbed, and find fault with gods and men.
Correct view: only what is truly your own should be considered yours; what belongs to others is as it is. Then no one will compel you or restrain you; you will find no fault in others; you will act in accordance with your own will and avoid hurt.
Guiding practice: work to say to every harsh appearance, “You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.” Examine it by your rules, especially whether it concerns things in our own control or not; if it concerns things not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.
Conceptual note (set notation):
In control: C = {opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, \text{own actions}}
Not in control: N = {body, property, reputation, command, \text{not own actions}}
Summary takeaway: distinguishing control leads to freedom; misidentifying control leads to hindrance and distress.
2. Desires, aversion, and how to manage them
Core claim: following desire promises attainment of the desired, aversion promises avoidance of what one is averse to.
Consequence of failure to obtain desired or to avoid the undesirable: disappointment if desire is unmet; wretchedness if aversion is fulfilled.
Practical guidance: confine aversion to objects that are contrary to the natural use of faculties you have in your own control; avoid aversion to sickness, death, or poverty, as that leads to wretchedness.
Strategy: remove aversion from all things not in our control; transfer aversion to things contrary to the nature of what is in our control.
Temporarily suppress desire for present moment: if you desire things not in your own control, you will be disappointed; and of those things which are in your control, nothing is yet in your possession.
Action guidance: use only appropriate actions of pursuit and avoidance; through gentleness and reservation even these should be limited.
3. Delights and attachments; anchoring to the general nature of objects
Advice for objects that give delight or are deeply loved (e.g., a ceramic cup): remind yourself that you are fond of the general category (ceramic cups, not the individual cup).
If the particular thing breaks, you won’t be disturbed because your attachment was to the general type, not the singular object.
Example with loved ones: if you kiss your child or wife, tell yourself you kiss only human beings, so that if they die you are not disturbed.
4. Actions and aligning with nature
Principle: when performing any action, remind yourself of the natural character of the action.
Example: bathing. Imagine possible occurrences (water splashing, pushy behavior, abusive language, stealing) to better prepare for the action.
Guiding mental stance: “I will now go bathe, and keep my own mind in a state conformable to nature.”
If hindrances arise during the action, you can say: “It was not only to bathe that I desired, but to keep my mind in a state conformable to nature; and I will not keep it if I am bothered at things that happen.”
8. Accept events as they occur, not as you wish
Principle: don't demand that things happen as you wish; instead, wish that they happen as they do, and you will go on well.
9. Sickness, lameness, and the capacity to choose
Sickness is a hindrance to the body, but not to your ability to choose, unless that choice itself is hindered.
Lameness is a hindrance to the leg, but not to your ability to choose.
Apply this stance to all appearances: obstacles may hinder the body, but they do not necessarily hinder your ability to choose.
10. What to do with accidents: developing usable faculties
For each accident, ask what abilities you have to use it properly:
Attractive person: self-restraint against desire.
Pain: fortitude.
Unpleasant language: patience.
Through habituation, appearances of things will no longer rush you along with them.
11. Reframing loss as return
Do not say “I have lost it”; say “I have returned it.”
Examples: if your child dies, it is returned; if your wife dies, it is returned; if your estate is taken away, it is returned.
The point about the perpetrator: it does not matter who the giver assigns to take it back; while you possess it, take care of it, but do not view it as your own (compare to travelers and a hotel).
12. On improving: avoid counterproductive rationalizations
If you want to improve, reject reasoning like: “If I neglect my affairs, I’ll have no income; if I don't correct my servant, he will be bad.”
Preference for equanimity: it is better to die with hunger, exempt from grief and fear, than to live in affluence with perturbation.
It is better that your servant be bad, than that you be unhappy.
Start with little things: spilled oil, stolen wine; frame it as the price paid for equanimity; nothing is to be had for nothing.
Realistic expectations about others: a servant may not come or may not do what you want; but he is not of such importance that he can disturb you.
13. On appearing ignorant: accept being thought foolish with regard to externals
If you wish to improve, accept being perceived as foolish in external matters.
Don’t strive to be thought to know everything; distrust yourself.
The tension: it is difficult to maintain a state aligned with nature while pursuing external things; focusing on one means neglecting the other.
14. Desires about others: how to maintain freedom
If you wish your children, wife, or friends to live forever, you are foolish because you want control over things that you cannot control and which belong to others.
Similarly, if you wish your servant to be without fault, you are foolish because you wish vice not to be vice, but something else.
More prudent aim: desire things that are within your own control so that your desires remain undisappointed.
Practical principle: exercise what is in your control.
Political/relational note: true freedom comes if one is able to confer or remove what others wish to have or avoid; otherwise, one is a slave.
15. Dinner party analogy: manage life like a meal
When things come around, take your share with moderation; if it passes by, don’t force it; if it hasn’t arrived yet, do not stretch your desire toward it.
Apply this to: children, spouse, public posts, riches.
Result: you become a worthy partner of the feasts of the gods, and may even join their empire if you can reject what is set before you.
Historical note: Diogenes, Heraclitus, and others who practiced similar restraint were called divine.
16. Distinguishing appearances from distress
If you see someone weeping about their son abroad or dead, beware that appearances may misdirect you.
Mental practice: say to yourself, in effect, “It’s not the accident that distresses this person; it is the judgment they make about it.”
Practical restraint: do not (even inwardly) moan to match the other person’s lament.
42. Interpreting harm and insult rightly
When someone harms you or speaks badly, remember they act from a supposition of duty and what appears right to them.
They cannot follow what appears right to you; they follow what appears right to themselves.
If someone treats a true proposition as false, the harm lies with the deceived person, not with the proposition.
Practical stance: from this basis, bear a reviling person meekly by saying, “It seemed so to him.” Do not moan.
43. Two handles: choosing how to engage with external events
Everything has two handles: one by which it can be carried, the other by which it cannot.
If your brother acts unjustly, do not grasp the action by the handle of injustice; instead grasp by the positive handle: that he is your brother and that you share upbringing.
Thus you can carry the situation more wisely.
48. The character of the vulgar vs. the philosopher; marks of the proficient
The vulgar person expects benefits or harms from externals; the philosopher expects them from himself.
The marks of a proficient: he censures no one, praises no one, blames no one, accuses no one; says nothing about himself as being anybody or knowing anything.
When hindered or restrained, he blames himself; when praised, he secretly laughs at the praise; when censured, he makes no defense.
The proficient moves with the caution of someone who is sick or injured, waiting to act until what is set right is perfectly fixed.
He suppresses all desire in himself; he transfers aversion to only those things that thwart the proper use of our own faculty of choice.
His exertion toward anything is very gentle; if he appears stupid or ignorant, he does not care; he treats himself as an enemy, living in ambush against his own unreason.
Key contrast: the philosopher practices radical internal regulation, self-examination, and restraint, even in the face of external evaluation.
Connections, significance, and practical implications
The excerpts emphasize internal sovereignty: happiness and freedom derive from controlling assent, desires, and judgments, not from external circumstances.
They encourage a habit of cognitive reframing: turning external events into neutral appearances and evaluating them by whether they lie within our control.
The ethics blend practical self-macros: self-discipline, equanimity, humility, and measured responses to others’ actions.
Real-world relevance: stress management, emotional regulation, resilience, and interpersonal ethics can be approached via the same rules—focus on what you can control, reframe outer events, and cultivate virtuous action.
Philosophical implications: Epictetus invites the reader to align life with nature and reason, pursue virtue over external success, and cultivate indifference to externals while remaining compassionate toward others.