Week 2 Notes

Definition and Focus of Conflict

• Episodes and Expressed Behaviors: Understanding conflict through the lens of expressed behaviors and specific episodes or situations.

• Communication of Conflict: Conflict can be communicated, though individual perceptions of conflict may not always be accurate.

Incompatible Goals

• Understanding Conflict: Conflicts often stem from incompatible goals, particularly in interpersonal relationships.

• Impact of Relationships: Conflicts with significant people (e.g., family, close friends) tend to cause more hurt than conflicts with casual acquaintances.

Interdependence in Communication

• Competent Communication: Being a competent communicator implies recognition of interdependence—actions and reactions of individuals influence each other.

• Development of Communication: Interdependence can shape how we communicate and define our roles within relationships.

Conflict and Family Background

• Microsystem Influence: Early conflicts experienced in family dynamics significantly shape one's approach to conflict resolution later in life.

• Learning through Experience: Observing ineffective conflict management (e.g., yelling) in childhood impacts future conflict approaches, potentially leading to avoidant or aggressive strategies.

The Nature of Hurt in Relationships

• Expectation of Interdependence: Expectations in close relationships mean that hurt is felt deeply when trust or communication is compromised.

• Impact of Unintentional Harm: Unintentional disruptions can still lead to significant emotional pain, particularly if trust is broken.

Types of Interdependence in Conflict

1. Specific Behaviors

• Definition: Simple, observable behaviors that can lead to conflict, such as preferences in toothpaste or milk.

• Resolution Examples: Resolving these conflicts often requires simple behavioral changes or compromises (e.g., buying different toothpaste).

2. Relational Norms and Rules

• Definition: Conflicts that arise from intangible norms, expectations, and rules governing personal relationships (e.g., communication frequency, trust).

• Difficulty of Resolution: Repairing broken trust or differing expectations is more complex than changing surface behaviors.

3. Individual Differences and Personal Characteristics

• Definition: Conflicts that stem from fundamental personal beliefs, values, and personality traits.

• Complexity: These conflicts are often rooted in deeply held beliefs (e.g., religion, politics) and can be especially challenging to navigate and resolve.

Types of Conflicts

1. Parallel Conflicts

• Characteristics: Conflicts are based on accurate and objective differences that both parties recognize.

• Example: Wanting to engage in different activities (e.g., city versus nature) on the same day.

2. Displaced Conflicts

• Characteristics: The objective basis for conflict is present, but the conversation is misguided or off-topic.

• Example: Arguing about emotional responses instead of addressing the actual difference in preference or desire.

3. Misattributed Conflicts

• Characteristics: Misunderstanding or mislabeling the actual cause of the conflict.

• Example: Two people argue without recognizing their shared misunderstanding of the issue at stake.

4. Latent Conflicts

• Characteristics: Potential conflicts exist that are not openly acknowledged or discussed, often due to avoidance.

• Example: Avoiding conversations about sensitive topics like finances or differing values.

5. False Conflicts

• Characteristics: Arguments occur over non-existent conflicts; parties may falsely believe they disagree.

• Example: Misunderstanding each other due to unclear communication but fundamentally agreeing on the issue.

Importance of Communication Awareness

• Recognizing Perception Differences: The conflict's interpretation can vary widely between individuals.

• Resolution Opportunities: Understanding the type of conflict can enhance strategies for managing or resolving disagreements.