Week 2 Notes
Definition and Focus of Conflict
Episodes and Expressed Behaviors: Understanding conflict through the lens of expressed behaviors and specific episodes or situations.
Communication of Conflict: Conflict can be communicated, though individual perceptions of conflict may not always be accurate.
Incompatible Goals
Understanding Conflict: Conflicts often stem from incompatible goals, particularly in interpersonal relationships.
Impact of Relationships: Conflicts with significant people (e.g., family, close friends) tend to cause more hurt than conflicts with casual acquaintances.
Interdependence in Communication
Competent Communication: Being a competent communicator implies recognition of interdependence—actions and reactions of individuals influence each other.
Development of Communication: Interdependence can shape how we communicate and define our roles within relationships.
Conflict and Family Background
Microsystem Influence: Early conflicts experienced in family dynamics significantly shape one's approach to conflict resolution later in life.
Learning through Experience: Observing ineffective conflict management (e.g., yelling) in childhood impacts future conflict approaches, potentially leading to avoidant or aggressive strategies.
The Nature of Hurt in Relationships
Expectation of Interdependence: Expectations in close relationships mean that hurt is felt deeply when trust or communication is compromised.
Impact of Unintentional Harm: Unintentional disruptions can still lead to significant emotional pain, particularly if trust is broken.
Types of Interdependence in Conflict
1. Specific Behaviors
Definition: Simple, observable behaviors that can lead to conflict, such as preferences in toothpaste or milk.
Resolution Examples: Resolving these conflicts often requires simple behavioral changes or compromises (e.g., buying different toothpaste).
2. Relational Norms and Rules
Definition: Conflicts that arise from intangible norms, expectations, and rules governing personal relationships (e.g., communication frequency, trust).
Difficulty of Resolution: Repairing broken trust or differing expectations is more complex than changing surface behaviors.
3. Individual Differences and Personal Characteristics
Definition: Conflicts that stem from fundamental personal beliefs, values, and personality traits.
Complexity: These conflicts are often rooted in deeply held beliefs (e.g., religion, politics) and can be especially challenging to navigate and resolve.
Types of Conflicts
1. Parallel Conflicts
Characteristics: Conflicts are based on accurate and objective differences that both parties recognize.
Example: Wanting to engage in different activities (e.g., city versus nature) on the same day.
2. Displaced Conflicts
Characteristics: The objective basis for conflict is present, but the conversation is misguided or off-topic.
Example: Arguing about emotional responses instead of addressing the actual difference in preference or desire.
3. Misattributed Conflicts
Characteristics: Misunderstanding or mislabeling the actual cause of the conflict.
Example: Two people argue without recognizing their shared misunderstanding of the issue at stake.
4. Latent Conflicts
Characteristics: Potential conflicts exist that are not openly acknowledged or discussed, often due to avoidance.
Example: Avoiding conversations about sensitive topics like finances or differing values.
5. False Conflicts
Characteristics: Arguments occur over non-existent conflicts; parties may falsely believe they disagree.
Example: Misunderstanding each other due to unclear communication but fundamentally agreeing on the issue.
Importance of Communication Awareness
Recognizing Perception Differences: The conflict's interpretation can vary widely between individuals.
Resolution Opportunities: Understanding the type of conflict can enhance strategies for managing or resolving disagreements.