Week 2 Notes

Definition and Focus of Conflict

  • Episodes and Expressed Behaviors: Understanding conflict through the lens of expressed behaviors and specific episodes or situations.

  • Communication of Conflict: Conflict can be communicated, though individual perceptions of conflict may not always be accurate.

Incompatible Goals

  • Understanding Conflict: Conflicts often stem from incompatible goals, particularly in interpersonal relationships.

  • Impact of Relationships: Conflicts with significant people (e.g., family, close friends) tend to cause more hurt than conflicts with casual acquaintances.

Interdependence in Communication

  • Competent Communication: Being a competent communicator implies recognition of interdependence—actions and reactions of individuals influence each other.

  • Development of Communication: Interdependence can shape how we communicate and define our roles within relationships.

Conflict and Family Background

  • Microsystem Influence: Early conflicts experienced in family dynamics significantly shape one's approach to conflict resolution later in life.

  • Learning through Experience: Observing ineffective conflict management (e.g., yelling) in childhood impacts future conflict approaches, potentially leading to avoidant or aggressive strategies.

The Nature of Hurt in Relationships

  • Expectation of Interdependence: Expectations in close relationships mean that hurt is felt deeply when trust or communication is compromised.

  • Impact of Unintentional Harm: Unintentional disruptions can still lead to significant emotional pain, particularly if trust is broken.

Types of Interdependence in Conflict

1. Specific Behaviors

  • Definition: Simple, observable behaviors that can lead to conflict, such as preferences in toothpaste or milk.

  • Resolution Examples: Resolving these conflicts often requires simple behavioral changes or compromises (e.g., buying different toothpaste).

2. Relational Norms and Rules

  • Definition: Conflicts that arise from intangible norms, expectations, and rules governing personal relationships (e.g., communication frequency, trust).

  • Difficulty of Resolution: Repairing broken trust or differing expectations is more complex than changing surface behaviors.

3. Individual Differences and Personal Characteristics

  • Definition: Conflicts that stem from fundamental personal beliefs, values, and personality traits.

  • Complexity: These conflicts are often rooted in deeply held beliefs (e.g., religion, politics) and can be especially challenging to navigate and resolve.

Types of Conflicts

1. Parallel Conflicts

  • Characteristics: Conflicts are based on accurate and objective differences that both parties recognize.

  • Example: Wanting to engage in different activities (e.g., city versus nature) on the same day.

2. Displaced Conflicts

  • Characteristics: The objective basis for conflict is present, but the conversation is misguided or off-topic.

  • Example: Arguing about emotional responses instead of addressing the actual difference in preference or desire.

3. Misattributed Conflicts

  • Characteristics: Misunderstanding or mislabeling the actual cause of the conflict.

  • Example: Two people argue without recognizing their shared misunderstanding of the issue at stake.

4. Latent Conflicts

  • Characteristics: Potential conflicts exist that are not openly acknowledged or discussed, often due to avoidance.

  • Example: Avoiding conversations about sensitive topics like finances or differing values.

5. False Conflicts

  • Characteristics: Arguments occur over non-existent conflicts; parties may falsely believe they disagree.

  • Example: Misunderstanding each other due to unclear communication but fundamentally agreeing on the issue.

Importance of Communication Awareness

  • Recognizing Perception Differences: The conflict's interpretation can vary widely between individuals.

  • Resolution Opportunities: Understanding the type of conflict can enhance strategies for managing or resolving disagreements.

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