Interpersonal Communication – Core Review Notes

Principles of Interpersonal Communication

• Interpersonal communication: exchange of messages between interdependent people within social & cultural norms.

• Competence = \text{effective} (goal achievement) + \text{appropriate} (situationally acceptable).

• Communication is strategic: we pursue goals while balancing effectiveness & appropriateness.

Functional Goals

• Instrumental: gaining compliance, information, or support ("get things done").

• Relational: maintain/strengthen bonds (celebrate, spend time, DTR talks).

• Self-presentation: manage how others see us (appear competent, friendly, etc.).

• All three goals operate simultaneously; prioritization shifts by context.

Cultural & Relational Contexts

• Relationship cultures: unique climates built from larger cultural norms.

• Schemata: mental blueprints guiding expectations.

• Storytelling, personal idioms, routines/rituals, and rules/norms create & sustain relationship cultures.

• Display rules vary by culture: affect who can show what emotion & how intensely.

Conflict Basics

• Interpersonal conflict: perceived incompatible goals, scarce resources, or opposing views.

• Quantity of conflict < management quality.

• Five styles (concern for self vs. other):
  • Competing (win/lose)
  • Avoiding (lose/lose or prudent delay)
  • Accommodating (lose/win)
  • Compromising (partial win/lose)
  • Collaborating (win/win).

• Cultural influence: individualistic ⇒ self-face & competing; collectivistic ⇒ other-face & avoiding/collaborating.

• Common triggers: criticism, demands, cumulative annoyance, rejection.

• Serial arguing patterns: repeating, mutual hostility, or arguing with assurances.

• Negotiation steps: prenegotiation → opening → exploration → bargaining → settlement → follow-up.

Emotions in Interaction

• Primary emotions (joy, distress, anger, fear, surprise, disgust) = innate, brief.

• Secondary emotions (love, guilt, shame, pride, envy, jealousy) = learned, longer, interpersonal.

• Evolutionary function: bonding & survival; attachment styles (secure, avoidant, anxious) shape emotion use.

• Emotional intelligence: monitor own/others’ feelings, discriminate, use info to guide action.
  • Enhancers: rich emotion vocabulary, “I” language, empathy, perception-checking.

• Emotional contagion: feelings spread; manage expression per cultural display rules.

Self-Disclosure Essentials

• Definition: purposeful revelation of personal info.

• Social Penetration Theory: breadth & depth increase like peeling an onion; negotiate openness \leftrightarrow closedness.

• Social Comparison Theory: disclosures help evaluate self vs. others.

• Johari Window:
  • Open (known to self & others)
  • Hidden (known to self)
  • Blind (known to others)
  • Unknown (to both).

• Decision factors: self-focused, other-focused, interpersonal, situational reasons; weigh risks (rejection, privacy loss).

• Timing & channel (face-to-face vs. mediated) affect outcomes.

• Receiver’s attribution (dispositional, situational, interpersonal) shapes relational impact.

Quick Tips for Exam

• Link function → goal: Instrumental = tasks, Relational = bond, Self-presentation = image.

• Match conflict style to context; collaborate for \text{win/win} when time & willingness permit.

• Emotions: manage with EI; recognize culture shapes expression.

• Self-disclosure: increase gradually; reciprocate; protect others’ secrets.

To answer your questions, the best sections from the provided notes are:

• Explain one specific theory or concept about interpersonal communication that applies to the relationship:

  • The "Self-Disclosure Essentials" section, specifically Social Penetration Theory or the Johari Window, can help explain how openness and personal revelation impact relationships.

  • The "Cultural & Relational Contexts" section, especially the concept of relationship cultures and how they are built through storytelling, idioms, routines, and rules, provides another relevant framework.

  • "Emotions in Interaction", focusing on emotional intelligence or emotional contagion, could also be applied.

• How has that theory about interpersonal communication changed your perspective on the relationship or helped you gain understanding?

  • While the note provides the theoretical understanding of these concepts (e.g., how self-disclosure operates, how relationship cultures are formed, or the role of emotional intelligence), the specific impact on your perspective on a particular relationship requires personal reflection and application of the theories to your own experiences.

• How can that theory about interpersonal communication help you improve upon the relationship?

  • Similarly, the note explains the principles (e.g., increasing breadth and depth of disclosure, managing emotions, understanding cultural norms). Applying these principles to improve your relationship involves taking actions based on the theoretical knowledge provided in the relevant sections.

• How is conflict most often handled in the relationship?

  • The "Conflict Basics" section directly addresses this, particularly the descriptions of the five conflict styles: Competing, Avoiding, Accommodating, Compromising, and Collaborating. You can use these descriptions to identify how conflict is typically handled.

• Can you think of a current (or past) conflict where shifting your conflict style may help with its resolution?

  • The "Conflict Basics" section provides the understanding of different conflict styles and their outcomes (e.g., win/lose, win/win). By reviewing these styles, you can reflect on past or current conflicts and consider how adopting a different style, as described in the notes (e.g., shifting from competing to collaborating), might have led to a more effective resolution.

• How do you think learning about conflict can help you gain interpersonal communication competence?

  • The "Principles of Interpersonal Communication" section defines competence as being ext{effective} (goal achievement) and ext{appropriate} (situationally acceptable). The "Conflict Basics" section, by outlining various conflict styles and their implications, directly contributes to competence. Understanding when to use a particular style, how to negotiate, and how cultural influences impact conflict resolution helps you become more effective in achieving your goals and more appropriate in your communication during disagreements. It also ties into the "Functional Goals" of maintaining relational bonds and managing self-presentation.