Self-Esteem & Social Media: Comprehensive Notes for Teenagers

INTRODUCTION TO SELF-ESTEEM

• Self-esteem is a crucial factor in a teenager's mental health and overall development.

• Teenage years involve significant changes:

  • Physical changes.

  • Hormonal shifts.

  • Altered relationships with family and friends.

  • Social challenges, particularly in adjusting to high school's social dynamics where one might transition from being a senior in primary school to a junior in high school.

• This module aims to provide teenagers with information and practical tools to navigate the transition to high school by focusing on improving their self-esteem.

WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM?

• Self-esteem: An individual's evaluation of their self-worth and their attitude toward themselves.

  • It reflects how you view and feel about yourself most of the time.

  • Beliefs about your personality, looks, and abilities contribute to your self-esteem.

POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE SELF-ESTEEM

• Perfectly positive self-esteem is unrealistic.

  • It's normal to have days where you feel down about yourself.

• Healthy self-esteem: A generally positive perception of yourself.

  • Feeling comfortable with who you are most of the time.

  • Enables you to take difficulties in stride.

• Low self-esteem: Mostly negative beliefs about yourself.

  • Focusing on weaknesses and mistakes.

  • Linked to stress, anxiety, and depression.

• High self-esteem: accepting happy moments, handling unpleasant situations, coping with challenges, engaging in close relationships, and improving your strengths.

SIGNS OF HIGH VS. LOW SELF-ESTEEM

• Signs of low self-esteem:

  • Fear of failure, leading to avoidance of new things.

  • Withdrawal from friends and family.

• Signs of high self-esteem:

  • Independence.

  • Exploring new and challenging tasks.

THE SELF-ESTEEM QUIZ

• A self-assessment tool to gauge self-esteem levels.

• Statements to rate:

  • Confidence in oneself.

  • Comfort in one's skin.

  • Positive self-talk.

  • Satisfaction with appearance.

  • Belief that others like you.

  • Confidence in abilities.

  • Willingness to try new things.

  • Pride in achievements.

  • Ability to cope with criticism.

  • Belief in oneself.

  • Commitment to finishing tasks.

  • Liking oneself.

  • Resilience to hurtful comments.

  • Happiness for others' success.

  • Ability to admit mistakes.

• Scoring:

  • Never: 1 point.

  • Sometimes: 2 points.

  • Mostly: 3 points.

• Score Evaluation:

  • 0-14: Very low self-esteem, requiring attention and help.

  • 15-30: Self-esteem could be higher, but not critical; normal for teens.

  • 31-45: Excellent, high level of self-esteem.

• Low scores indicate areas for improvement; self-esteem can be improved.

UNREALISTIC BODY STANDARDS

• Society places excessive value on unrealistic body standards.

• Media bombardment with images of "perfect" bodies leads to:

  • Unhealthy habits.

  • Low self-esteem.

  • Body dissatisfaction.

  • Body dysmorphia: A pathological preoccupation with an imagined or slight physical defect causing significant stress or behavioral impairment.

• Discussion points:

  • The extent to which young men and women feel the pressures of unrealistic body standards.

  • The effect of the media on self-esteem for women and men.

  • How to manage the media's effect on one's self-esteem.

INFLUENCES ON SELF-ESTEEM

1 SOCIAL MEDIA COMPARISON

• Social media allows us to shape our online identity.

• It also exposes us to the identities others construct.

• Social comparisons can greatly impact self-esteem.

• Unhealthy comparisons create negative emotions: anxiety, depression, behaving out of character, lying, etc.

• Social media positivity bias: People only post their 'perfect' life, which is not a true reflection of reality.

• Celebrities have teams of people selecting their outfits and doing their hair and make-up, and they are paid to promote things. It is not a 'normal' lifestyle to try to match.

• Selfie society: Constant comparison to friends' selfies and TikTok videos and judging oneself by the amount of interaction received.

2 PEER PRESSURE

• Peer pressure: Social pressure to conform to the expectations of a peer group.

• Friends have a significant impact on self-esteem.

• Peer pressure can be direct or indirect, positive or negative.

• Direct peer pressure: Someone directly pressurizes you in terms of what they say or do, or in how they behave.

  • Example: Being asked to participate in vaping at a friend's house.

• Indirect peer pressure: Unspoken peer pressure; the person being pressured is aware of the expectation to conform.

• Positive peer pressure: Pressure to engage in positive behavior; friends can be a fantastic source of support.

• Negative peer pressure: Leads to behaving out of character and regret.

• How to handle negative peer pressure:

  • Pay attention to your own feelings about what is right and wrong.

  • Choose friends with similar values.

  • Speak to a trusted adult.

/ 3 LIFE EXPERIENCES

• Different upbringings and life challenges affect self-esteem.

• Negative impacts: fear-based parenting styles, poor adult role models, moving to another city, the death of a loved one, dealing with illness and dealing with any form of abuse.

• Acknowledge the hardship faced and seek professional help if needed.

4 CULTURAL IDENTITY

• Culture: The beliefs, social norms, and behaviors of a social, racial, or religious group.

• Culture shapes identity, influences how we experience life, and impacts self-esteem.

• Sense of self is derived from aspects of identities that best fulfill the values of the surrounding culture.

5 BULLYING

• Bullying: Negative physical or verbal actions repeated over time that intentionally harm, intimidate, or coerce someone.

• Forms of bullying:

  • Physical: Hitting, kicking, punching, or destroying property.

  • Verbal: Name-calling, teasing, aggressive language, making fun of people.

  • Emotional/Social: Spreading rumors, being left out of a social group, pressure to do something you do not want to do.

  • Cyberbullying: Use of technology to harass or intimidate someone.

  • Prejudicial bullying: Prejudices based on race, religion, or sexual orientation.

• Banter vs. Bullying:

  • Banter: Playful teasing or joking between friends.

  • Verbal bullying: Banter that escalates into mean or offensive comments.

  • How to stop banter from turning into bullying:

    • Know the boundaries. Never pick on someone's appearance, race,
      sexuality, or disability.

    • Do not laugh if it is not funny. If you are at the center of your friend's joke, let them know that it is hurtful.

    • Do not pick on an insecurity.

    • Saying, 'It's just banter', after saying something hurtful, does not make it okay.

• Targets and effects of bullying:

  • Playing on insecurity: Bullies pick on vulnerable people to feel powerful.

  • Self-criticism: People who are bullied start to blame themselves.

  • Trying to change: Masking unique characteristics to avoid being bullied.

  • Long-term effect: Negative impact on mental and physical health; development of long-term insecurities.

• The Bystander vs. Upstander:

  • Bystander: Stands by and watches bullying, condoning the behavior.

  • Upstander: Speaks up or acts to support the person being bullied.

  • How to be an upstander:

    • If you do not feel comfortable addressing the person involved in the bullying directly, seek help from a trusted adult; even just alerting someone to what is going on will make a difference.

    • Part of being an upstander is being there for the person who has been bullied and showing your support for them.

• Why do people bully others?

  • Been bullied: Those who have experienced bullying are twice as likely
    To bully others.

  • Low self-esteem: A person who bullies others often tries to deflect attention away from their insecurities by picking on someone else's insecurities.

  • Power and control: Bullying is all about gaining power and control over others.

  • Social reinforcement: Bullying behavior between Peers may be a means to Seek attention or gain social acceptance.
    Low self-esteem, aggressive behavior, insecurity, difficult home life, stress, and trauma are other reasons for bullying.

CONSEQUENCES OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM

• Diverse consequences: anxiety, depression, relationship issues, drug and alcohol abuse, and poor body image.

1 POOR BODY IMAGE

• Body image: How you see and feel about your own body.

• Negative body image leads to low self-esteem, depression, and eating disorders.

• Disordered eating: Regularly engaging in abnormal eating patterns, and can lead to an eating disorder, such as anorexia or bulimia.
  An eating disorder is a serious mental and physical illness that manifests as a disturbed eating habit, which can include over-eating, not eating enough or purging after eating in the form of extreme exercise or vomiting.

• Strategies to address disordered eating:

  • Intuitive eating: Eating when hungry and stopping when full.

  • Mindful eating: Eating slowly and focusing on the food.

  • Managing emotions: Eating to nourish the body instead of eating
    because you feel bored, sad, angry, or anxious.

• Food shaming: Negative food talk directed at yourself or others.

• Orthorexia nervosa: An obsession with healthy, 'clean' eating.

2 MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES

• Low self-esteem increases chances of depression, anxiety, and loneliness.

• Strategies to overcome mental health issues:

  • Keep active and develop healthy eating habits.

  • Get enough sleep.

  • Avoid drugs and alcohol.

  • Deal with your emotions instead of suppressing them.

  • Seek professional help if necessary.

3 RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS

• Low self-esteem can make you feel undeserving of love and attention, leading to pushing people away.

4 NEGATIVE EFFECTS ON SCHOOL AND WORK PERFORMANCE

• Feeling destined to fail leads to lack of motivation and bad marks.

STRATEGIES FOR BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM

• Live a life by design, not by default; Dare to be different.

1. LIVE A LIFE BY DESIGN, NOT BY DEFAULT

• Living by design: Taking actions to become the person you want to be.

• Living by default: Drifting aimlessly and letting life happen to you.

2. CREATE ATOMIC HABITS

• Having goals creates personal significance and improves self-esteem.

• James Clear's concept of atomic habits:

  • Cue: The trigger that sets off a change in behavior to achieve a desired reward.

  • Craving: Motivates habit formation; linked to an internal desire to change.

  • Response: The habit formed and repeated through action.

  • Reward: Satisfies and teaches.

3. BE UNIQUELY YOU

• Celebrating individuality and uniqueness helps you stand out; be proud of everything that makes you unique.

• Embrace the qualities that you have and appreciate the things that set you apart from everyone else.

4. MANAGE YOUR SELF-TALK

• Negative self-talk can become entrenched beliefs; brains can be rewired through neuroplasticity.

• Steps to manage self-talk:

  • Recognize: Identify if your self-talk is positive or negative.

  • Record: Write your self-talk down to make it real and visual.

  • Revise: Change negative statements to positive, believable statements.

  • Repeat: Consistently repeat the process until you are only speaking to yourself in a positive manner.

5. BE POSITIVE, EXPRESS GRATITUDE, AND BE KIND TO YOURSELF

• Practicing gratitude: Intentionally notice and appreciate the good things around you.

• Benefits of gratitude:

  • Improves physical health by encouraging you to keep healthy habits.

  • Helps you to sleep better as it calms your thoughts and lowers your heart rate.

  • Helps you to be more empathetic toward others.

  • Improves relationships as you create a space where you can express your concerns and feelings freely.

  • Strengthens your self-value and self-esteem as you intentionally notice and are thankful for the good things in your life.

  • Allows you to view the world around you positively.

6. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM

• Positive relationships and social support impact self-esteem.

7. BOOST YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (EQ)

• Being able to recognize and articulate your emotions helps you cope with them better.

8. MOVE YOUR BODY

• Moving your body releases endorphins and dopamine, which improve mood.

SOCIAL MEDIA

THE CHAIN OF PUBLICATION

• The chain of publication refers to every person who interacts in any way with anything that is published online.

• Sharing content puts you in the chain of publication for that post.

• Therefore, if there is something wrong or illegal about that post you can get
  into trouble along with the person who created the content.

• If you do not distance/remove yourself from content that is wrong or
  illegal and you have the ability to do so, you are liable for any repercussions linked to that content.

• If you are tagged in any content, you are in the chain of publication.

• Liking and commenting on content puts you in the chain of publication, and if something is wrong with the content you can also be held responsible.

WHAT ARE TEENS POSTING ONLINE?

• Teenagers post: Little about their political beliefs (10%) and/or religious beliefs (9%). 25% post About things that are linked to how they are feeling.

• 12% of teens post about their dating life.

• Older teenage girls are more likely to avoid posting things online that could lead to some embarrassment.

• 34% post about their family.

• 43% of Teens post about Their accomplishments online.

RELATIONSHIPS, SAFETY AND REPUTATIONS

• Social media refers to the various ways that we communicate using technology, and has risks regarding relationships, reputation, personal brand, personal safety and privacy.

RELATIONSHIPS

• Relationships are essential for our well-being.

• Social media is useful for keeping in touch, we should prioritize spending time in person with others.

• Tips:

  • Give full attention when spending time with someone.

  • Build relationships in person and not just online.

  • When someone is speaking, look them in the eye and really listen. Do not text while they talk.

  • Only post or text things that you would actually say in person.

• People do not want to know every detail about your life, and those that do will contact you directly.

• Examples of oversharing:

  • Continually posting about your boyfriend or girlfriend.

  • Venting your emotions.

  • Posting details of a fight that you are having with a partner, friend or family member.

  • Posting hundreds of selfies.

  • Sharing embarrassing pictures/videos of yourself or your friends or family.

  • Sharing pictures of all your meals.

• Phubbing: The act of ignoring someone you are with and giving attention to your cell phone.

  • Harms relationships, and can lead to depression and low satisfaction in relationships.

  • When someone is phubbed, they feel rejected, unimportant, and excluded from that person.

REPUTATION OR PERSONAL BRAND

• Your personal brand is your reputation.

• An impression of who you are is formed by each thing that you post collectively.

• Tips:

  • Post positive things. Do not be negative, rude or mean about anyone.

  • While selfies can be fun, posting a million pictures
    of yourself may come across as self-centered.

  • Have interests and a life outside of social media.

  • Avoid sharing very personal information (over-sharing).

PERSONAL SAFETY AND PRIVACY

• Biggest worry is likely to be your online safety.

• Other issues include identity theft, cyberbullying and exposure to sexual predators.

• If you share private information online (e.g., your ID number, home address,
  location, etc.), you also put yourself at risk of identity theft.

• When you sign up to some social media platforms, you will notice that you agree to give them the right to reuse your content.

• Tips:

  • Only interact via social media with people that you know. Do not accept unknown friend requests. Just because you have friends in common does not mean you should accept requests from people you do not know.

  • Ensure that you have checked your privacy settings.

  • Never offer to meet someone in person whom you have only met online without a parent/guardian present.

  • Do not share your phone number, ID number or address online, and never allow location services or geo-tagging.

• POPIA (Protection of Personal Information Act) is now enforced by law.

SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCERS

• An influencer is someone who has an influence on the thoughts and actions of the audience that follows them.

• They exert this influence by:

  • Using their authority, knowledge, position or relationship with their online audience to affect their purchasing decisions.

  • Relying on their personal brand to build and engage with an online following in a distinct niche.

• Brands rely on social media influencers to maintain their personal branding promise and will not employ influencers who have a negative reputation due to inappropriate posts.

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY

THE GOOD

• Social media allows us to connect and communicate with others, to cross barriers of location and to experience support with specific challenges we may be facing.

DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION

• Generation Z (born from 1997) is said to be the most diverse and inclusive generation to date.

• Social media enables diverse people from across the globe to interact and share their perspectives and experiences.

BELONGING

• 'Belonging' suggests a feeling of being accepted and included.

• Social groups can either create a sense of belonging or make you feel alienated.

CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE (BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS)

• Social media makes it easy to connect with friends and family, especially when they are far away.

• Social media also allows us to engage with people who might be experiencing some of the same challenges.

NETWORKING

• Social media is useful for connecting with people in order to find a job or opportunities.

• Many people use the social media platform LinkedIn to create an online profile with information about themselves for employers.

IMPROVING GENERAL KNOWLEDGE

• Social media provides a great way to stay updated with personal interests and current affairs.

ENABLING ACTIVE GLOBAL CITIZENSHIP

• Global citizen means that you recognise there are issues that affect all of us as human beings, regardless of where in the world we live.

• It is easier to learn about and share the message
  with others through social media.

SELF-EXPRESSION AND CREATING CONTENT

• Social media allows us to explore our creativity and to be content creators.

THE BAD

• Social media use can also be harmful to your health and well-being.

MENTAL HEALTH

• Social media has a major impact on mental health and self-esteem.

• Constant use of social media can lead to unhappiness, depression and anxiety.

THE ECHO CHAMBER EFFECT

• The echo chamber effect creates an information bubble around each of us where we are only exposed to content (information inside the bubble) that supports our own beliefs.

• Algorithms tailor content to our interests, meaning that we run the risk of having our views always supported and encouraged, without ever being challenged.

MISSING OUT ON REAL LIFE

• If we spend all of our time on social media, we miss out on life!

ADDICTIVE NATURE

• Social media is incredibly addictive in nature.

• Social media affects our brains in the same way as some addictive
  substances. When we get a 'like', 'comment' or 'share' on something we have posted, we get a release of dopamine.

SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGES

• You may experience pressure to get involved in social
  media challenges. Although these challenges can be fun, but can be dangerous and cause serious injury, and may even lead to cyberbullying.

PROCRASTINATION

• Social media can be a big time-waster.

CREATING AN ONLINE IMAGE

• Social media gives us the opportunity to curate who we are.

SELFIE SOCIETY

• 'Smoasting', or social media boasting, usually involves uploading pictures (often
  selfies) in an effort to make your life appear 'cool'.

DIGITAL DRAMA

• Digital drama is a passive-aggressive form of cyberbullying that focuses on the everyday tiffs and dramas that we experience on social media.

SLEEP

• The blue light from your cell phone, laptop or tablet at night can seriously affect your sleep and even cause disease.

HOW TO POST APPROPRIATELY

• Bear the 'P's in mind and ask yourself if you would be happy for these people to view your post:

  1. Police

  2. Parents

  3. Paedophiles

  4. Prospective university admissions officers, employers or scholarship providers

  5. Principals

  6. Phishers

THE UGLY

• Not only can social media have a negative impact on your life, if not managed
  properly, some of its effects can be downright devastating and even illegal.

SEXTING

• Sexting involves sending sexually suggestive messages or pictures of yourself to someone else.

• Legal implications for boys and girls:

  • Sexting under the age of 18 is illegal!

  • Sexting under the age of 18 is a criminal offense (illegal), both locally and internationally. It is considered child pornography under the South African Films and Publications Act.

  • The Films and Publications Amendment Act 11 of 2019 made image-based violence, otherwise known as revenge porn, illegal.

• Pressure to sext, and the double standards.

• It is much easier to gossip and be mean about others using social media as you are not doing this face to face.

• What to do if you are experiencing cyberbullying:

  • Get help - talk to an adult and seek advice.

  • Block - block the person bullying you from all your social media accounts.

  • Screenshot - keep evidence of what has been said. Whether it is a text
    message, chat, email or post, make sure that you know how to keep a record of it.

  • Leave the platform - remove yourself from the situation (e.g., WhatsApp group).

  • You are not at fault - understand that you are never the reason for being bullied.

  • Ignore - avoid reacting to the bullying. The person bullying you is looking for you to retaliate.

SIX THINKING HATS

• White hat. What are the facts, data and information we know about sexting? What are the laws about sexting for minors?

• Purple hat. What are the risks? What could go wrong for you if you sext? What could go wrong for the person

• Yellow hat. What could encourage you to sext? What may make you think it is worth doing?

• Green hat. How can you respond if you are under pressure to send nudes to someone? How can you develop your relationship in ways that do not put you at risk?

• Red hat. What is your gut intuition about sexting? What do you feel is the right thing to do? What are your morals and values when it comes to sexting?

• Blue hat. Is there any further research you need to do, or anyone you need to speak to on the topic?

CYBERBULLYING

• Cyberbullying can either be an extremely public form of online bullying or it can take place discreetly over direct messaging.

• Cyberbullying includes:

  • Bad-mouthing and spreading rumors on online platforms.

  • Posting abusive messages online.

  • Sending nasty messages via sms, WhatsApp or email.

  • Posting humiliating videos or pictures online or sending them to other people.

  • Taking on someone else's identity online.

• Legal action:
  that even if you are receiving age-based violence, otherwise known as revenge porn, and Cyberbullying falls within the electronic harassment component of the Protection Cyberbullying falls within the electronic harassment component of the Protection The age of criminal capacity in South Africa is 14 years, meaning that a and The age of criminal capacity in South Africa is 14 years, meaning that a perpetrator can be arrested from 14 years of age.

CATFISHING

• Catfishing is when someone creates a fake online profile.

• Pretending to be someone else online is not illegal; however, the way in which the fake profile is used could be illegal.

TEEN GROOMING

• Teen grooming takes place when predators build a friendship based on trust and an emotional connection with teenagers. Groomers sometimes make friends with a teenager's family in order to build and connect to the victim.

• Signs that someone might be being groomed:

  • tends to hide what they are doing and becomes very secretive

  • has a much older boyfriend or girlfriend

  • tends to have quite a lot of money or new things and unable to explain the source

  • withdrawn

  • sexualised behaviour

  • not being where they said they would be located

SEXTORTION

• Sextortion is basically blackmail that happens online.
  It happens when a person is manipulated into sending a sexually suggestive image/video to someone who has has happens when a person is manipulated into sending a sexually suggestive image/video to someone who has a a fake profile.

TIME

• What are the most important points you learnt?

• What are you still finding challenging and difficult to understand?

• What questions would you most like to discuss with your class?

• What is something you found interesting?

ADDITIONAL SOCIAL MEDIA TIPS

1. Posting about others: When posting a picture or an update about someone else, you could be infringing on their rights, such as a copyright infringement or defamation of character. This is especially true if the post is rude, hurtful or damaging to their image/reputation.

2. WhatsApp replies: Try not to take it personally if someone does not reply straight after reading -Just because it shows 'read' (two blue ticks) does not mean that they are ignoring you. They might be busy or thinking through their response.

3. When you are upset: Remember that what you post
   creates an impression of who you are If you send a WhatsApp message when angry, you might say If you send a WhatsApp message when angry, you might say something that you will regret. Rather take 24 hours to calm down and think about how you should respond.

4. Age restrictions: Most social media platforms have an age restriction. Ensure you check this before signing up.

5. Keep things private: Make sure your accounts are setto 'private'; when you sign up, they are automatically setto 'public'. Accept only people you know.

6. Be wise: Do not give in to the pressures of participatingin challenges that can be extremely harmful to yourselfor someone else - it is not worth the likes. Use yourcommon sense.

7. Be aware: Be cautious of what you expose yourself to interms of the music you listen to or footage you watch.

8. Think of the future: Remember that whatever you postonline can never be removed and can come back tohaunt you when applying for jobs or tertiary education.