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4. Interpersonal Communication and Interviewing

Overview: Interpersonal communication is the broad process of transferring meaning, intentionally or accidentally, shaping who we are through daily interactions.

Types of Communication (Intrapersonal vs. Interpersonal):

  • Interpersonal Communication: Ongoing process between two people (dyad), sharing responsibility for creating meaning and defining the relationship.

  • Intrapersonal Communication: Thinking or talking to oneself; requires only a single communicator.

KOMUNIKASI REMAJA (Teens) – Key Takeaway:

  • Text messaging is the most common daily communication method for teens.

  • Other methods include landlines, cell phones, social networking sites, in-person, email, IM, video chatting.

  • Data from Pew Research Center surveys (2014–2015) with n = 1060 teens (13–17) show text messaging as the dominant daily method.

  • Source: Pew Research Center, Teens Relationships Survey, Sept. 25–Oct. 9, 2014, and Feb. 10–Mar. 16, 2015.

INTERVIEW = A Complex Communication Process (Core Idea):

  • Successful interviewers understand the total process, not just questions and answers.

  • Communication is a model with many interacting elements.

The Heart and Soul of the Interviewing Process – Two Parties in the Interview:

  • Each party is a unique and complex individual (culture, environment, education, training, experiences, personality).

  • Both parties are interpersonally connected and have a stake in the outcome.

  • Interaction without prior history can be challenging due to uncertainty.

  • Types of Relationships: Intimate, Casual, Distant, Formal, Functional (may change during interaction).

Relational Dimensions: Key drivers of relationship development in an interview.

  • Similarity: Fostered by shared norms, values, experiences, personality, beliefs, expectations (often based on perception).

  • Inclusion: Enhanced when both parties actively participate as speakers and listeners; greater involvement leads to satisfaction.

  • Liking: A "we" rather than "me-you" dynamic; pleasant, fair, and productive communication increases interaction.

  • Control: Responsibility for process success; influence by organizational hierarchies can hinder flow.

  • Trust: Built when parties are honest, sincere, reliable, and ethical; crucial for open disclosure.

Global Communication and Intercultural Considerations:

  • Understanding how relationships form across cultures is essential; anxiety stems from unfamiliarity.

  • General Tendencies (Illustrative):

    • Americans: Frequently initiate and terminate relationships; fluid.

    • Australians: May form deeper, longer-lasting commitments.

    • Arabs: Quick development with duty-based mutual aid.

    • Chinese: Typically develop very strong, long-term relationships.

    • Mexicans: Trust develops more slowly.

    • Japanese: Prefer not to interact with strangers; seek background info before relationship building.

  • Practical Implication: Intercultural sensitivity and adaptability are critical.

Gender in Relationship – Uncommunicated or Unseen Aspects:

  • Unspoken cues differ by gender (e.g., preening for women, teasing for men).

  • Gendered patterns in conversation initiation, disclosure, and feedback.

  • Visuals and color metaphors illustrate differences in perception/communication style.

How We See Colors (Gender-Based Color Representations):

  • Women: Spectrum includes red tones, pinks, purples, lighter colors.

  • Men: Spectrum includes blues, greens, neutrals.

  • Conceptual Takeaway: Cultural scripts influence gendered perception and language use.

Gender in Relationship – Communication Patterns:

  • Men’s Talk: Directive, goal-oriented, prompts compliance; aims to exert control, preserve independence, enhance status.

  • Women’s Talk: More polite, expressive, with qualifiers/disclaimers; centers on establishing/maintaining relationships; common praise/compliments.

Interchanging Roles in an Interview:

  • Both parties speak, listen, ask, and answer; take turns as interviewer/interviewee.

  • Humans simultaneously send and receive signals, shifting conversation direction.

  • John Steward’s Concept of Nexting: Continuous verbal/nonverbal signals to keep conversation going, responding to what just happened and taking a next step.

  • Role exchange depends on status, expertise, interview type, and atmosphere (supportive vs. defensive).

Approaches in Interview (Directive vs. Non-Directive):

  • Directive Approach: Interviewer controls; closed questions for brief, direct answers; used for info gathering, surveys, recruiting, disciplinary, persuasive interviews.

  • Non-Directive Approach: Interviewee controls subject/answer length; open-ended, neutral questions; used for info gathering (journalistic), counseling, performance reviews, problem-solving.

Combinations and Flexibility in Approaches:

  • Be flexible, switch approaches as needed; roles guide but don't dictate.

  • Recruitment may start non-directive (relax applicant), switch directive (give info), then non-directive (answer questions).

  • Societal/organizational rules can govern approach choice.

Perceptions of Interviewer and Interviewee (Key Perceptual Dimensions):

  • Four perceptions drive interactions:
    1) Our self-perceptions
    2) Our perceptions of the other party
    3) How the other party perceives us
    4) How the other party perceives self

  • These shape interview progress and outcomes.

Perceptions of Self (Self-Concept and its Effects):

  • Self-Concept (Self-Perception): Physical, social, psychological perceptions from experiences, activities, accomplishments, interactions.

  • Dual Creation of Interpretations: How we see ourselves and how we think others see us.

  • Self-Esteem: Positive or negative feelings about oneself.

  • Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Beliefs about self can cause success or failure.

  • Self-perception influences messages, risk-taking, confidence, and self-disclosure.

Perceptions of Other Party (Influences on how we view the other):

  • Affects approach and reactions during interview.

  • Influenced by age, sex, race, ethnicity, size, physical attractiveness.

  • Positive third-party endorsements can alter perception.

  • Be flexible; perceptions change as interview progresses.

Perceptions of the Other Party – Two-Way Process:

  • Perceptions change based on interview start/end, manner, attitudes, dress, listening, feedback, verbal/nonverbal cues, questions, and answers.

Communication Interactions (Figure 2.4):

  • Modeled as two parties (roles, perceptions) connected by feedback and exchange.

  • Occurs at multiple levels (1-3), showing differences in relational distance, self-disclosure, risk, meaning, and content.

Levels of Communication Interactions (1-3):

  • Level 1: Safe, nonthreatening, superficial topics; avoid judgments; limited relational history.

  • Level 2: Personal, controversial, or threatening topics; probes beliefs/values; requires trust and risk-taking.

  • Level 3: Intimate, controversial inquiries; full disclosure of deep feelings/beliefs; infrequent; high warmth and trust required.

  • Note: Levels are unpredictable; disclosure carries risk.

Gender, Culture, and Self-Disclosure in Interactions:

  • Self-disclosure is influenced by gender and culture.

  • Women often disclose more freely and express emotions (except anger) than men.

  • Culture shapes what, to whom, and how disclosure occurs.

  • Politeness Theory: Humans seek appreciation and protection; maintaining a positive face is universal.

Verbal Interactions and Language Use:

  • Words are symbols; meanings arise from their use.

  • Language is rarely neutral due to connotations, jargon, slang, euphemisms, power words, regional/gender differences.

  • Small word changes alter meaning; context matters; be aware of evolving language.

  • Practical Guidance: Choose words carefully, expand vocabulary, listen for context, learn jargon, stay updated.

Nonverbal Interactions:

  • Signals include appearance, dress, eye contact, voice, silence, handshakes, facial expressions.

  • Convey intentional or unintentional messages.

  • Intended and conveyed messages may differ; nonverbal often interpreted by other party.

  • Nonverbal cues can be more trustworthy than words; consider gender/cultural differences.

  • People may mask emotions; nonverbal signals can reveal truth.

Verbal and Nonverbal Interplay:

  • Nonverbal cues complement/reinforce verbal messages.

  • Can substitute for words when unable/unwilling to speak.

  • When verbal/nonverbal conflict, nonverbal is often believed.

  • Always consider gender/cultural differences in interpretation.

Feedback in Communication:

  • Verifies what is communicated and understood.

  • Both verbal (questions, answers) and nonverbal (expressions, gestures).

  • Detect feedback by observing and listening.

  • Avoid over-interpreting small nonverbal actions; good listening is essential.

Four Listening Approaches (in Feedback):

  • Listening for Comprehension: Understand content; important for info gathering.

  • Listening for Empathy: Understand/appreciate other party; respond with warmth.

  • Listening for Evaluation: Judge content/actions; caution to avoid criticism.

  • Listening for Resolution: Focus on problem-solving; emphasize joint contribution.

  • Be flexible; select appropriate approach for situation.

How to be an Effective Listener:

  • Be as satisfied listening as talking.

  • Avoid expectation of constant entertainment.

  • Be active by carefully attending to content and nonverbal signals.

  • Concentrate despite distractions.

  • Use the most appropriate listening approach.

The Interview Situation – Initiating the Interview:

  • Situation determines who initiates; affects control, roles, atmosphere.

  • Each person has unique perception of purpose, need, urgency, timing, place, setting.

  • Some see it as routine, others as notable.

  • Familiar, informal, warm settings increase likelihood of moving beyond Level 1.

Time, Date, and Place in Interviews:

  • Optimum times vary by person.

  • Be aware of surrounding events; choose conducive locations.

  • Surroundings influence climate; control noise.

Territoriality in Interviews:

  • We stake physical/psychological space; invasion causes discomfort.

  • Optimal Distance: ~arm's length or across a table (45 \text{ cm} to 1.2 \text{ m}).

  • Zones: Intimate (\sim 45 \text{ cm}), Social (\sim 1.2 \text{ m}), Personal Space (\sim 3.6 \text{ m}).

  • Relationship/cultural factors influence territorial comfort and seating.

  • Seating arrangements reflect status, gender, culture, relationship; can equalize or reinforce control.

Outside Forces:

  • Mindful of external influences (family, friends, employers, agencies) on either party.

  • Provide guidelines/expectations that shape roles/behavior.

  • Parties may adjust approach due to concern for reactions from outside forces.

Summary and Takeaway:

  • An interview involves multiple variables: two parties, exchanged roles, perceptions, interactions, feedback, situation, and outside forces.

  • Interviewing is a dynamic process between complex parties using imperfect verbal/nonverbal symbols.

  • Perceptions of self, other, other's view of you, and situation critically influence outcomes.

  • Thorough understanding of process (relational dimensions, culture/gender, interaction levels, language, feedback) is essential.

Note on References and Ethics:

  • Emphasize ethical implications: confidentiality, cultural sensitivity, appropriate self-disclosure based on context/guidelines.

Key Formulas and Numerical References (LaTeX Format):

  • Territorial Distance: 45 \text{ cm}, 1.2 \text{ m}, 3.6 \text{ m}

  • Population Reference: n = 1060 (Pew data on teens: 2014–2015).

Connections to Foundational Principles and Real-World Relevance:

  • Interview anchored in relational theory (similarity, inclusion, liking, control, trust).

  • Intercultural/gender dynamics shape communication strategies in various professional settings.

  • Effective listening/feedback are core competencies for clarity, resolution, and mutual understanding.