Love & Attraction
Announcements & Review
Assignment #1: Due Thursday by midnight.
Exam: On Thursday, 9/25.
Last Time Recap:
Four Defining Features of an Experiment:
Independent Variable (IV): The variable that is manipulated or changed by the experimenter to see its effect on another variable. This is the cause in a cause-and-effect relationship.
Dependent Variable (DV): The variable that is measured or observed; it's the outcome thought to be affected by the IV. This is the effect.
Control: Measures taken to hold all other variables constant across conditions, ensuring that only the IV is influencing the DV. This minimizes confounding variables and allows for causal inferences.
Random Assignment: A procedure where participants are assigned to different experimental conditions (e.g., experimental group, control group) purely by chance. This helps to ensure that groups are equivalent before the experiment begins, distributing individual differences evenly and reducing bias.
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love:
Based on three fundamental components: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
These components combine in different ways to form 7 distinct types of love.
A lack of any of these components results in "non-love."
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (Detailed)
Sternberg’s theory proposes that love is composed of three interacting elements:
Intimacy: Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness. It involves emotional investment and relies on self-disclosure and warmth.
Passion: Drives that lead to romance, physical attraction, sexual consummation, and physiological arousal. It's the intense longing for union.
Commitment: The decision to love someone and the commitment to maintain that love. It involves both a short-term decision to love and a long-term commitment to stay.
These three components can combine in eight possible ways, creating different types of love:
Nonlove: Absence of all three components.
Liking: Intimacy alone (e.g., good friendships).
Infatuated Love: Passion alone (e.g., "love at first sight" without intimacy or commitment).
Empty Love: Commitment alone (e.g., stagnant relationships where intimacy and passion have died).
Romantic Love: Intimacy + Passion (e.g., typical summer romance).
Companionate Love: Intimacy + Commitment (e.g., long-term friendships or marriages where passion has faded).
Fatuous Love: Passion + Commitment (e.g., whirlwind courtships, committed based on passion).
Consummate Love: Intimacy + Passion + Commitment (the ideal form of love, difficult to maintain).
Passionate Love: Why it matters and how to keep it going
Description: A state of intense longing for union with another. It embodies a mix of emotions, including euphoria, anxiety, physiological arousal, and obsession.
Why it Matters: Passionate love is often what initiates relationships, providing the initial spark and strong motivation for two people to come together and develop deeper bonds. It drives us to overcome obstacles and idealize our partner.
How to Keep it Going:
Novelty and Excitement: Engage in new, unique, and exciting activities together. Sharing novel experiences can rekindle physiological arousal and associate it with the partner.
Idealization: Maintain a positive, albeit slightly unrealistic, view of your partner's qualities.
Self-Expansion: Encourage activities and experiences that help both partners grow as individuals and as a couple, keeping the relationship dynamic.
Communication: Openly express desire, affection, and appreciation for your partner.
Companionate Love
Description: Characterized by deep affection, trust, intimacy, and a profound sense of commitment and friendship. It is less intense than passionate love but often more enduring and stable.
It emerges as relationships mature and is built on mutual understanding, shared experiences, and emotional support.
Key Characteristics: Warmth, reliance, respect, and a strong sense of comfort and security.
Often the foundation for long-term satisfaction and relationship stability.
Love Over Time
Evolution of Love: Most relationships begin with high levels of passionate love, which tends to be intense but declines over time. This decline is a natural process as novelty fades and partners become more familiar.
Rise of Companionate Love: As passionate love decreases, companionate love typically increases, deepening intimacy and commitment. A successful relationship often sees a transition from passion-dominant love to a more companionate-dominant love, which is characterized by enduring trust and affection.
Maintaining Balance: While passion may dip, it doesn't have to disappear entirely. Couples who maintain elements of passion, intimacy, and commitment tend to have more fulfilling long-term relationships.
Attraction
Definition: The desire to approach someone. It's the force that draws people together, leading to friendships, romantic relationships, and other social bonds.
Key Factors Influencing Attraction:
Proximity: We are more likely to be attracted to people who are geographically close to us or with whom we frequently interact.
Familiarity: Repeated exposure to someone (without negative experiences) generally increases our liking for them.
Reciprocal Liking: We tend to like those who like us.
Similarity: We are attracted to people who are similar to us in terms of attitudes, values, demographics, and even personality.
Physical Attractiveness: A powerful predictor of initial attraction.
Direct Rewards
Definition: The positive consequences we directly receive from interacting with another person. These are explicit and often immediately gratifying benefits.
Examples: Fun conversations, emotional support, laughter, sexual satisfaction, companionship, kindness, and approval.
Indirect Rewards
Definition: Benefits associated with a person but not directly provided by their actions. These often involve positive feelings or outcomes that occur in the presence of the person, even if they aren't directly responsible.
Examples:
Positive self-concept: Feeling good about oneself when with someone successful or attractive.
Shared positive experiences: Being around someone during a fun event, leading to positive associations.
Status: Gaining social status or prestige by being associated with a particular person.
Good genes: Evolutionary benefits associated with a partner's perceived health or fertility.
Model of Mate Selection
Filter Theory (Kerckhoff & Davis): A prominent model suggesting that people narrow down their pool of potential partners by applying a series of filters.
Propinquity Filter: Physical closeness and frequency of interaction.
Sociodemographic Filter: Similarity in social background, education, and values.
Attractiveness Filter: Mutual physical attraction.
Value Consensus Filter: Agreement on fundamental beliefs and values.
Need Complementarity Filter: Partners' needs complement each other (e.g., one is dominant, the other submissive).
This process suggests that initial broad pools are systematically reduced until a suitable mate is found.
Physical Attractiveness
Impact: A significant factor in initial attraction across cultures. Highly attractive individuals are often perceived as having more desirable traits.
"What is Beautiful is Good" Stereotype: People tend to associate physical attractiveness with a host of other positive qualities, such as intelligence, kindness, sociability, and success, even in the absence of evidence.
Matching Hypothesis: Suggests that people tend to form relationships with others who are similar to them in terms of physical attractiveness. While individuals might desire the most attractive partners, they often settle for those whose attractiveness level somewhat matches their own to ensure a greater likelihood of acceptance and relationship stability.