Speech Chapter 7

Types of Relationships and Communication

• Continuum of Relationships: Relationships vary in communication style depending on their intimacy level, moving from impersonal to personal. Major types include:

  • Acquaintances

  • Friends

  • Intimates

Acquaintances

• Definition: Acquaintances are people known by name with whom interactions are primarily impersonal.

  • Examples: Neighbors, classmates, coworkers, brief interactions at stores (e.g., weather conversations with cashiers).

  • Communication Goals:

    • Reduce uncertainty by seeking shared beliefs and values (Berger, 1987).

    • Help each other save face: maintaining a positive self-image during interactions (Tin Tumi, 2004-2005).

• Guidelines for Developing Acquaintances:

  • Initiate Conversations: Introduce yourself, refer to shared environments, or use humor (e.g., Whitney and Paige discussing the heat).

  • Engage in Other-Centered Focus: Ask questions, listen closely, and engage in follow-up (e.g., studying together).

  • Turn Taking: Balance speaking and listening, avoid interrupting (Dale Carnegie, 1936).

  • Politeness: Be gentle with comments and considerate of the other person's feelings.

Friends

• Definition: Friends are individuals with whom a deeper personal connection is voluntarily negotiated.

  • Examples: Socializing outside of class or work (e.g., Whitney and Paige working out at the gym).

  • Contextual Friendships: Different groups based on interactions (e.g., tennis friends, work friends).

• Friendship Guidelines:

  • Be Proactive: Regularly initiate time together (e.g., setting weekly calls).

  • Responsiveness: Actively listen and engage in conversations.

  • Self-Disclosure: Exchange personal information (e.g., discussing issues in romantic relationships).

  • Emotional Support: Provide comfort and advice during difficult times (Burleson, 2009).

  • Conflict Management: Effectively handle disagreements healthily.

Intimates

• Definition: Intimates are individuals with whom we share a high level of interdependence, commitment, affection, and trust.

  • Decrease in Intimate Relationships: From 80% in 1985 to 57% in 2006 in Americans identifying more than two intimate relationships (McPherson et al., 2006).

  • Importance: Intimate relationships are critical for life satisfaction (Gilbert & Lindsay, 2010).

• Types of Intimate Relationships:

  • Platonic: No sexual attraction, but high intimacy (e.g., Leslie and Ron from "Parks and Recreation").

  • Romantic: Involves mutual sexual attraction.

• Trust Factors: Critical in both platonic and romantic intimate relationships, where shared private information increases intimacy.

• Cultural Influences:

  • Different cultural norms affect how intimacy is developed and expressed. For example, collectivist cultures may maintain privacy more than individualistic ones (Lustig & Coaster, 2013).

• Intimacy Guidelines:

  • Dependability: Strive to be someone your partner can rely on.

  • Responsiveness: Meet partner's needs, sometimes prioritizing their needs over your own.

  • Collaborative Conflict Management: Work through issues together.

  • Transparency: Be open with feelings and thoughts, putting the relationship first.

Relationship Life Cycle

• Stages of Relationships: Relationships undergo processes defined in phases of coming together and apart.

  • Coming Together: Initial interactions involve uncertainty reduction and disclosure, typically through shared activities and discussions about interests.

  • Staying Together: Maintaining relationships involves prosocial behaviors (being polite, celebrating special occasions, etc.), regular communication, and mutual support.

  • Coming Apart: Signs include circumscribing (communication decreases), stagnating (going through the motions), avoiding, and ultimately terminating a relationship.

Managing Relationship Dialectics

• Relational Dialectics: Conflicting desires in relationships (e.g., autonomy vs. connection).

  • Strategies for Management:

    • Temporal Selection: Choosing one need over another temporarily.

    • Topical Segmentation: Addressing a dialectical tension by focusing on some topics over others.

    • Neutralization: Compromising between opposing desires.

    • Reframing: Changing perspectives on the opposing desires to find common ground.

Role of Technology in Relationships

• Impact on Formation and Maintenance: Online platforms facilitate the beginning of friendships and romantic relationships.

  • Media Multiplexity: Close friends often use more communication channels.

  • Disengagement: People may use technology (e.g., social media) to distance themselves, such as reducing contact through texts or social platforms.