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Confidence and Self-Knowledge - Lecture Notes

Confidence: What it Means

  • Definition: Confidence is described as someone who is okay with being the person they are and okay with sharing what they are with other people. It also acknowledges that completely opening oneself to someone, or even to the self, is quite hard.
  • Key idea: Confidence involves both self-acceptance and the willingness to reveal that self to others, recognizing the inherent difficulty of total openness.

Core Idea: Confidence and Authenticity

  • Core statement: Being confident means knowing who you are and presenting that version of you to the entire world.
  • Authentic presentation: Confidence grows when you align how you present yourself with who you actually are, rather than pretending to be someone else.

How to Be Confident: The Approach

  • Primary method offered: look deeply inside yourself and know yourself.
  • Rationale: the better you know yourself, the better you can present that version to the world.

What to Know About Yourself

  • Know what you like; know what you don’t like.
  • Create your boundaries; know what is a limit to you and where that limit is.
  • Hypothesis: self-knowledge will instantly boost some degree of confidence.

Process and Practical Steps

  • Confidence grows incrementally: it’s built through small, gradual steps (baby steps).
  • First step: go very slowly, very patiently with your own self while getting to know your own self.
  • Next steps follow after initial self-understanding; progression happens step by step.

Metaphors and Phrases

  • Metaphor of climbing: confidence increases via "baby steps" and "small stairs steps" to go up and high.
  • Emphasis on pace: progress should be slow and deliberate rather than rushed.

Openness and Vulnerability

  • It is described as quite impossible to completely open oneself to someone, even to one’s own self; total openness is a challenging, ongoing process.
  • Implication: confidence includes accepting that some level of boundaries and self-protection is natural.

Connections and Real-World Relevance

  • Self-knowledge informs self-presentation to others, influencing how confidently you engage with the world.
  • Boundaries and limits are practical tools for maintaining confidence in social and professional contexts.

Practical Implications

  • Practical approach: engage in self-reflection, establish clear boundaries, and progress gradually in how you present yourself.
  • Ethical dimension: authentic self-presentation supports healthier relationships and reduces pressure to perform or hide parts of yourself.

Summary

  • The core path to confidence is deep self-knowledge, clear boundaries, and a patient, incremental progression toward presenting your authentic self to the world."