oct 10th notes
Understanding Friendships as Intimate Relationships
The concept of friendship is defined as a form of intimate relationship.
Intimate relationships are characterized by closeness and fulfillment of intimacy components.
Close friends often fulfill the components associated with intimacy.
Attributes of Friendship
Affection
Affection and liking are foundational feelings in friendship.
Affection includes loyalty, trust, responsiveness, authenticity, and empathy.
These emotional components help build feelings of closeness and intimacy.
Communal Function
Communal aspects of friendship involve meaningful disclosures and social support.
In high-quality friendships, there is a sense of equity and equality, where both friends feel valued.
This contrasts with acquaintanceships, where such depth may not be present.
Companionship
Companionship is the social aspect of friendships, where shared interests and activities play a key role.
Friends often engage in fun activities together, which reinforces the friendship.
Lack of enjoyment with a friend usually leads to a decrease in the strength of that friendship.
Differences Between Friendship and Romantic Love
Friendships differ significantly from romantic love in the following ways:
Friendships do not carry feelings of sexual attraction or desire.
Cognitive fascination is absent in friendships, whereas it is common in romantic relationships.
There is less desire for exclusivity among friends compared to romantic partners.
Social rules and expectations in friendships are generally less stringent than in romantic relationships.
Emotional intensity in friendships is lower than in romantic partnerships; emotions such as happiness or sadness are significant but do not typically reach the same peak as in romantic love.
A stable romantic relationship includes a friendship component, highlighting the importance of both romance and companionship.
Social Support in Friendships
Definition of Social Support: Any assistance from friends that uplifts moods or eases life burdens.
Forms of Social Support:
Emotional Support
Actions that demonstrate affection, acceptance, and reassurance, especially during times of sadness or uncertainty.
Physical Comfort
Tactile gestures such as hugs, hand-holding, or celebratory high-fives, which convey support.
Advice Support
Cognitive form of support where friends provide guidance, information, or processing for emotional concerns.
Material Support
Practical aid involving tangible resources such as time, money, or goods that make life easier.
Multiple forms of support often occur simultaneously and are intertwined.
Example of Social Support:
Personal narrative illustrating different types of support received during a difficult time (e.g., death of a family member).
Friends provided emotional, physical, advice, and material support, showcasing the value of communal aspects of friendship.
Importance of Social Support
Benefits of Providing and Receiving Social Support:
Lowered blood pressure, reduced heart rates, and decreased cortisol levels.
Development of trust within relationships through consistent support, creating a cycle of reciprocity.
Perception of Relationships:
How friendships are perceived impacts the level of trust and intimacy within them.
Attachment Styles:
Individuals with secure attachment styles give and receive support altruistically, while anxious individuals may provide intrusive support due to fear of abandonment.
Capitalization as a Form of Support
Definition: Capitalization occurs when friends share in the joy of each other's successes, reinforcing happiness in positive experiences.
Importance:
Vital to maintaining intimacy and trust in friendships. A lack of capitalization could reduce intimacy and create distance in relationships.
Responsiveness in Friendships
Definition of Responsiveness: The ability of friends to recognize and respond supportively to each other's needs and bids for connection.
Importance:
Meaningful responses enhance trust, interdependence, and promote self-disclosure in friendships.
Chronic violations of responsiveness can lead to unhealthy, one-sided relationships.
Expectations and Norms in Friendships
Friendships have implicit social rules, often learned from childhood experiences.
General Expectations:
Trustworthiness, loyalty, being a confidant, enjoyment of shared time, and providing social support.
Violations of these expectations often lead to the deterioration of friendships.
Gender Differences in Friendships
Reflects on how gender socialization affects the dynamics of friendships between men and women.
Emotional communication tends to be higher in female friendships, while male friendships may lean towards competition.
Context matters:
If emotional sharing is normalized in a male friendship setting, feelings of connection can flourish similar to female friendships.
Cultural References
Mention of "When Harry Met Sally" to illustrate gender perceptions about friendships and attraction visually and humorously.
The discussion of stereotypes and norms regarding friendships highlights the complexities and societal influences affecting interpersonal relationships.