SOC 260 final

Why study family?

• view of family is distorted- we see what we want to and overlook what we don’t

• gaining info helps us to be subjective

Who is included in family?

• parents

• children

• grandparents

• siblings

• aunts, uncles, cousins

• pets

• friends

• deceased

• those not yet born

defining family

• census definitions

  • family- a group of 2 or more persons related by birth, marriage, or adoption residing together in a household

  • household- one or more people—everyone living in a housing unit makes up a household

• inclusive definitions

  • 2 or more people related by birth, marriage, adoption, or choice, includes affiliative or fictive kin

Functions of the family

• provides for a source of intimate relationships

• acts as a formation of a cooperative economic unit

• produces/socializes children

• establishes social roles and status

types of family

• family of orientation/origin

  • family in which we grow up

• family of procreation

  • family formed thru marriage/childbearing

• family of cohabitation

  • family formed through living or cohabiting with others

• extended family

  • cohabiting couple, children, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, in laws

  • can be formed through marriage or birth

• kinship system

  • kin can be affiliated, a nonrelated person would be considered “kin”

  • a relative may fill a different kin role, e.g. grandma taking the role of mother

what is marriage?

• a marriage is a legally recognized union between 2 people

  • united sexually/economically

  • may give birth to, adopt, or rear children

  • assumed to be permanent but can be dissolved thru separation or divorce

  • the definition evolves/is not the same in all cultures

forms of marriage

• monogamy

  • only legal form of marriage in the US

  • serial monogamy- a person who moves between relationships quickly, spends very little time single

• polygamy

  • preferred marital arrangement worldwide

    • polygyny- 2 or more wives

    • polyandry- 2 or more husbands

Who can marry?

• 2 people- polygamy outlawed in 1879

• same sex- became legal in US in 2015

• different races- legalized in 1967

• age/relationship restrictions vary by state- with/without parental consent and degree of cousins

societal features of marriage

• establishment of rights/obligations connected to gender, sexuality, kin relationships, and legitimacy of children

• specified rights/duties or partners and responsibilities within wider community

• orderly transfer of wealth from one generation to the next

• assignment of responsibility for caring for and socializing children to the spouses of their relatives

rights and benefits of marriage

• Right to enter into a premarital agreement

• Income tax deductions, credits, and rates

• Legal status with partner’s children

• Partner medical decisions

• Right to support from spouse

• Right to inherit property

• Payment to worker’s compensation benefits after death

• Public assistance from the Department of Human Service

• Right to a divorce

• Award of child custody in divorce proceedings

• Control and disposition of community property

• Division of property after dissolution of marriage

• Right to support after divorce

varied perspectives on family depend on what we conceive of as families

• influenced by personal experiences, religious backgrounds, personal values

ideological positions on family/change

• conservative-pessimistic about changes in family life/the families of today

  • less self sacrifice, more self fulfillment

  • results in higher divorce, higher cohabitation, more births outside of marriage

  • families are weaker than before

  • policy should promote marriage and inhibit divorce (no more no-fault divorces)

• liberal- optimistic about family change

  • change does not mean decline

  • economic conditions influence family structure

  • policy should promote economic well-being for families

• centrist

  • wider social changes are responsible for family change

  • cultural values are important- many give up on marital/familial roles to pursue individual interests

common ways of knowing

• experiential reality- based on our histories

• agreement reality- based on what others tell us, media, and cultural ideas

fallacies- errors in reasoning

• egocentric- everyone is the same as us and must think the same as us

• ethnocentric- ethnicity is superior to others

• influences of beliefs

• media influence- tendency to sensationalize, highlights extreme cases, simplifies, appeals to most noticeable viewpoint

errors in choosing our sources

• selection bias- only asking people that are available

• confirmation bias- looking for evidence that fits our views

researching the family

• objectivity- suspend our own beliefs about a subject until we understand what’s being said

• objective vs value statements- value includes words that mean should/imply that our way is the correct/best way

research

• re-search

• ongoing investigation

• based on prior evidence

• looks for evidence you’re wrong/shared to allow for criticism and follow up

• SCIENTIFIC METHOD!!!!!!!!

theories and concepts

• theories-general concepts/principles to explain phenomena, provide a framework to understand research

• concepts- abstract ideas used to represent reality in which we are interested

quantitative and qualitative research vs secondary data analysis

• quantitative research- numbers, info, statistics

• qualitative- detailed understanding of entire narrative, less to do with numbers

• secondary data analysis- reorganizing data collected for a different purpose

types of research!!

• exploratory research

  • used when little is known about a subject

  • what is it like?

  • what’s happening?

  • how do ppl feel about it?

• descriptive

  • exactly what it sounds like- surface level

• explanatory

  • attempts to answer why questions

• evaluative/applied research

  • designed to find effectiveness of policy/programs

  • findings not always put into practice due to opposition

macro-level family theories

• ecological perspective

  • micro, meso, exo, macro, chronosystems

• structural functionalism

  • societies are stable/orderly systems

  • relationships are a result of agreement by members of society

  • social institutions work together to help society survive

    • ex: functions of the family- produce and stabilize members of society, fill roles that ensure stability- expressive role and instrumental role

  • criticism- number of families that actually filled these roles was greater in the 1950s

  • women may work and be responsible for the expressive role as well (second shift)

• conflict theory

  • focus on inequality in the family esp around power and control

  • personal conflict- bad management can cause extensive damage

  • sources of power- legitimacy, money, physical coercion, love

  • criticism- underestimates cooperation, stability in families

micro level theories- focus on small groups

• symbolic interaction

  • smiles, gestures, colors, language

  • how do relationships differ in different groups

  • criticism- underestimates role of large institutions and economic structures in interactions

• Social exchange theory

  • “accounting” in relationships

  • assumes motivation=self interest

  • maximize benefits/minimize cost

  • reciprocity and balance are crucial

  • assets/liabilities as a mate, deciding on divorce

  • criticism- doesn’t address resource distribution

• family systems theory

  • families are systems- change by one person affects others

  • boundaries, rules, roles

  • difficult to change- equilibrium

  • criticism- focused on treatment of families in a clinical setting

• developmental theory

  • focus of family changes over time

  • dating, engagement, marriage, children, work/schooling, launching, retirement, death/grief

  • criticism- not applicable to contemporary families

methods

• surveys, observations, secondary analysis, experimental design

Native americans

• 574 tribes in 7 groups named for natural environment

• hunting/gathering or horticultural economies

• most patrilineal except Hopi, Zuni, and Iroquois

  • arranged marriages within clan

  • girls marry at 12-15, boys at 20

  • rites of passage- hunts/puberty

• parenting- lead by example, no harsh discipline

• 4-5 families living in 1 house

• respect for natural world- men hunt, women gather fruit or berries

• cedar fishing and small game

• 1800-1900s

  • relocation to camps

  • starvation

  • forced assimilation

European colonists

• love came after marriage

• patriarchal, christian

• couples were business partners primarily

• inequality

• wife as helpmate/property

• fertility- 8 children

• high infant mortality

• Puritans

  • children have souls and original sin

  • father was primary parent

  • 3 Rs- repression, religion, respect

  • apprenticeship- males 7-12

African American

• having children as a slave was illegal til importing was banned in 1807

• extended kin and monogamy

• til death or distance do you part

• industrialization

  • mechanized production

  • urbanization

  • gender polarization

  • child labor

  • fertility decline

  • crowding, alcoholism, crime

  • orphan trains

1900s-1920s

• men go to WWI

• child labor laws

• flappers in office

• mandatory education laws

• divorce rate rises

• pessimism about the future

Companionate family

• middle class emergence

  • being in love

  • sharing household decisions

  • wives not required to be sexually restrained

  • children given more freedom, democratic families

1930s

• great depression

• unemployment jump

• family income way down

• more traditional roles- divorce decreases

1940s

• WWII

• victory gardens, rationing

• half of women in factory work

• childcare assistance

• marriage and divorce rise

• after war, women move out of work

1950s

• good post war economy

• traditional roles and younger marriage

• TV and kid culture

• divorce rates decline

• fertility increases

• gov subsidizes education and white housing

• poverty rate for 2 earner black families was 50%

• teen birth rate inreased

• rate of babies given up for adoption- up 80%

• 1/3 marriages end in divorce

• middle class stay at home mom drug/alcohol use

1970s and middle class slide

• economic downturn

• 2 earners needed

• divorce increse

• latch-key children- before and after school programs

• longer work/greater debt

family life today

• individualism

• credentialism

• less retirement

• gig economy

• more cohabitation/singlehood

• boomerang kids

• family consumerism/debt.

social classes

• economic position

• life chances

• social mobility

  • intergenerational- extent to which children move up the ladder compared to parents

  • intragenerational- movement within a generation

class and family pattern

• upper class

  • subordinate wives

  • pressure on children to maintain appearances

    • mental health, drugs

• middle class

  • 2 career marriages

  • egalitarian

  • pressure on children to be the “best”

    • mental health problems from guilt, self discipline, initiative

  • least connected with extended kin

• working class

  • traditional

  • 2 earner households

  • “second shift” for women

  • emphasis on obedience, less psychological and more physical punishment

  • pool resources w extended family, family events as a source of leisure

• poor/working poor

  • stress of bills, poor nutrition, unsafe neighborhoods, poor healthcare, stigma

  • less stabilization

  • “feminization of poverty”

  • mental health and drug use in children

changes in spectrum

• ideas of trans varies historically/culturally

• US and other cultures increasingly accepting

• US and Germany have third gender option

stereotypes of masculinity and femininity are used to justify unequal treatment

• expectations for males and females are different as they enter/exit specific social situations

Gender wage gap

• women almost always make less than men

• 2021- 82 cents to the dollar

gendered family experiences

• less middle class emphasis on traditional role of wife and mother

• AA women’s roles instrumental- no conflict between work and motherhood

• Latino women deference to men out of respect, elders respected regardless of gender

• male as breadwinner still emphasized regardless of race/ethnicity

much more flexibility today but gender roles still limit our potential

need for love and intimacy

• love hasn’t always been important psychologically

• Harlow’s research- what is love?

  • cloth mother and wire mother to monkeys

• Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development

  • identity vs role confusion (adolescent)

  • intimacy vs isolation (early adulthood)

  • implications for intimacy today

• Maslow’s hierarchy of needs

  • physiological, safety, love/belonging, esteem, self actualization, self transcendence

  • I am between love/belonging and esteem

• friends through the lifespan

  • friends provide intimacy, but also benefit us as people

  • toddlers- intrinsic friendships and relationships

  • friends become a means to an end- it’s cool to be seen with them or you can get something out of them

  • when people get older they don’t need friends for the same purpose as they did earlier, gets back to intrinsic relationships

  • being love vs deficiency love

    • being love- based on regard for the other person- seeing and appreciating others for who they are rather than who you want them to be

    • deficiency love- based on trying to fill a void- involves distortion of the other to fit your needs

  • transformation of intimacy

    • romantic love- seeing others as a means to an end, future focused

    • confluent love- based on equality and reflexivity, present

    • due to greater gender equality/independence

  what is intimacy?

  defined: closeness and sharing between 2 or more people, might be expressed sexually but not always

  expressed: talking, spending time, listening, being open/honest, trust

  importance: more important to relationship satisfaction than independence, agreement, or sexuality

friends

• friendship and love-important to wellbeing, grief is super stressful life event

• friends are intrinsic mostly

• romantic partners can be more extrinsic, sexual, formal

• i like you or i love you like a friend

romantic partners

• standard for romantic partners is higher

  • appearance, social status, level of commitment, reproductive success, interdependence- life trajectory

Culture of love

• parental involvement in mate selection gone in late 1800s

• love as basis for marriage in 1900s (companionate marriage)

  • best friend, confidant, romantic partner

• romantic love is functional in industrial societies

  • validates importance of individual autonomy

  • establishes relative independence of conjugal from extended family

  • fits wider social freedoms of teens and young adults

  • economy wise?

    • mobility, nuclear households, changing economy

consequences of love based marriage

• more idealizing partners

• more emphasis on sex

• impacts divorce/remarriage

• love does not equal good long term partner

Gender/intimacy

• Feminization of love (straight)

  • devalues love shown by men

  • caregiving/words of affirmation over gift giving

  • “lets talk” or “lets not”

• gender and friendship

  • female- disclosure, gossip, more fragile

  • male- self disclosure, less co-rumination, fewer displays of affection

  • cross sex- straight men are more open in cross sex relations, overall higher expectations for cross sex relationships

• Friends with Benefits (situationships)

  • FWB adds sex to friendship

  • less likely to have this in monogamy assumed relationships

  • FWB more common on college campuses

Hendrick’s love attitudes scale

• eros: romantic/passionate love

• ludus: playful or game playing love

• storge: love between companions

• mania: obsessive love

• agape: altruistic love

• pragma: practical love

Hatfield and Sprecher

• passionate- intense longing for a union

• companionate- warm and tender affection we feel for close others

Sternberg’s triangular approach to love

• 3 elements of love:

  • intimacy- emotional component

  • passion- motivational piece- arousal and attraction

  • commitment- cognitive dimension

• types of love:

  • liking, infatuation, empty love, romantic love, companionate love, fatuous love, consummate love

Love and attachment

• attachment- affection, fondness, or sympathy for someone or something.

• attachment styles in children- secure, anxious, and avoidant

• Attachment in adulthood

  • secure attachments

    • relatively easy to get close to others, comfort depending on others and them depending on me

    • not worried about abandonment

    • not worried about losing self

    • more texting

  • anxious attachment

    • reluctant to get close

    • worry that they don’t really love me/won’t want to stay

    • want to get very close

    • afraid to let them out of sight

    • more sexting/cyber stalking

  • avoidant attachments

    • somewhat uncomfortable being close with others

    • difficult to trust, hard to depend on others

    • others want me to be more intimate than i feel comfortable with

    • sex while texting

finding a partner

• are looks everything?

  • halo effect- assumption that good looking people possess more desirable characteristics/make us look better, looks matter most in the beginning of a relationship

• roles of tech in relationships

  • dating apps- 30% have used and many had overall positive experiences

  • 12% of Americans say they have married/been in a committed relationship with someone met on an app

  • however 45% were left feeling more frustrated after using dating apps, lots of harassing especially for women under 35

  • 57% received unwanted sexually explicit message or images

  • gender differences- women found it harder to find attractive people, men found it harder to find someone that shared interests

    • men more likely to complain that they don’t get enough messages

  • online vs f2f honesty- are people more honest online or in person?

  • social media makes perception of relationship different, posting about relationships is also very different

• Jealousy

  • occurs bc of involvement with a third person

  • insecure attachment styles more likely to notice

  • fear of loss + insecurity= higher likelihood of jealousy

    • suspicious vs reactive jealousy

• breakups

  • usually initiated by one side

  • bring improvements to subsequent relationships

  • similar regardless of orientation

• lasting relationships

  • time affects relationships

  • rapid growth of intimacy tends to level off

  • commitment tends to increase as long as the relationship is judged to be rewarding

verbal and non verbal communication

• verbal

  • less of the message, one channel, more conscious

• non verbal

  • many channels

    • eye contact/facial expression

    • touch

    • proximity

    • object language

    • posture

    • paralanguage

  • more of the message

  • less conscious

  • problems- imprecise, mixed messages

  • functions

    • conveying attitudes

    • expressing emotions

    • handling ongoing interaction

      • supportive: benefits health- eye contact, interest, etc

      • negative: threatens stability of relationship- lack of interest, disrespect

• verbal expresses basic content of the message

• nonverbal reflects relationship part of the message

communication

• goal of communication- have intended message be accurately received

• problem is misunderstanding

• Heider’s attribution theory

  • attribution- explanation for someone’s behavior

    • internal disposition vs external situation

  • when love is new, we give benefit of the doubt

  • when a mistake is made by…

    • others- it’s the way they are (disposition)

    • us- its the circumstance (situational)

  • if we’re mad and they do something nice, it’s situational

Areas of conflict

• lack of time together or disagreement about togetherness vs separation

• money

• sex

• parenting

• division of labor

• Gottman

  • couples physiological response to conversation and disagreement- 94% accurate in predicting divorce

  • compatibility isn’t required in relationships

  • conflicts are a result of not tending to the bigger picture

  • 5 horsemen of the apocalypse

    • criticism

    • contempt

    • defensiveness

    • stonewalling

    • belligerence/aggression

  • masters

    • love map

    • create meaning in life

    • admiration and fondness

    • turn toward each other

    • accept influence

    • dialogue about problems

    • self soothing

  • disasters

    • don’t take notes

    • don’t ask about things that matter

    • have contempt

    • turn away or against

    • compete, do not accept influence

    • live parallel lives

    • partner as enemy/adversary

    • negative perspective

    • distress- maintaining thoughts

  • How to correct this?

    • repair

      • apologies, humor- not snark

      • attack the problem, not each other

    • soft start ups- be kind, not right

      • very important when partner stonewalls

      • turn toward

      • how a partner responds to bids for time/engagement

    • accept influence

      • consider partners viewpoint and ideas

    • positive sentiment overrides emotional climate

      • look for what is right/self soothing self talk

American society

• foundation for american families

• 50% of adults 18 and older are married

• overall decline in marriage, increase in cohabitation

marriage/cohabitation views

• higher levels of trust and satisfaction for married couples

• Black Protestants and white evangelical Protestants less likely to support cohabitation

• Many cohabiting couples stay unwed due to financial issues

• long term couples are seen as better off married

• younger adults see living together as a way to improve marital success

• endogamy- marriage inside of your groups because of shared understanding and assumptions

• exogamy- marry outside of certain groups, especially family

Marriage squeeze

• gender imbalance reflected in the ratio of available unmarried men vs women

• members of one gender tend to get squeezed out of the marriage market

mating gradient

• tendency for women to marry above their status

• tendency for men to marry below them

homogamy and age

• straight marriages- typically he is older

• more marriages have similar ages nowadays

• as men get older they marry younger

• as women get older they stay with a similar age

homogamy and religion

• same faith means higher happiness and lower divorce rates

• highly religious and family support

• religious homogamy- strong effect on marital quality

• interfaith marriage- concern for kids

homogamy and social class

• most same social class w marriage gradient

• greater equity with same sex marriages

Theories of choosing a spouse

• complementary needs theory

• parental image theory

• stimulus role value theory

why marry?

• economic well being- higher income, greater productivity, mobility at work)

• physical and mental health

• personal happiness

• selection vs protection

predicting marital success

• rocky+turbulent

  • unhappy and lasting

• sweet and undramatic

  • satisfying and enduring

• passionate

  • vulnerable to divorce

• problem solving skills are important but emotional climate is more so

engagement, cohabitation, marriage

• engagement- culmination of premarital dating process

• cohabitation- premarital cohabitation common

• wedding- ancient ritual to show commitment to each other

• early marriage- establish marital and family roles, provide emotional support, and adjust personal habits

• middle aged marriage- some couples happy, some troubled by children leaving, boomerang children, pandemic lead to more children returning/staying home

• aging and later life marriages- usually less conflict

• widowhood variety of deep and painful emotion, harder for men due to less social support, death of wife less expected, women typically have broader networks to turn to for support

marital commitments

• 3 major types of commitment

  • personal- desire to stay with spouse, love

  • moral commitment- moral obligation, attitude about marriage contract

  • structural commitment- irretrievable investment, difficulty getting out

• presence of children appears to lower marital satisfaction and increase marital conflict

single households

• 1960: 13% of households

• 2021: 29% of households

• 37 mil 1 person households

Partnered peers are generally better off than unpartnered peers

increase in singles?

• delayed marriages

• more options for women

• rates of divorce are up

• more liberal sexual/social standards

• less men than women

types of never married singles

• voluntary + temporary

• involuntary and temporary

• voluntary and permanent

• involuntary permanent

living solo only became an option in the last 50 years because of inability to afford it

cohabitation- living together in an intimate relationship without marriage

• trial marriage

• precursor to marriage

• substitute for marriage

• coresidential dating

• indistinguishable from marriage- indifference to marriage

cohabitation and remarriage

• half of those who remarry after divorce cohabit before remarrying

• postdivorce cohabitation is now more common than premarital cohabitation

• marital quality and happiness appear to be lower among post divorce cohabitors

• cohabitation has less effect on premarital couples

• higher risk of divorce for serial cohabitation

cohabitation vs marriage

• married couples tend to do more household chores than cohabitating couples

• children- births don’t seem to affect the relationship as much, positively or negatively

• married people have better health, but cohabiting have better health than divorced, widowed, and never married

civil unions- grant same protection as marriage to couples

domestic partnerships- grant some protections of marriage to cohabiting couples

fertility rates- births per 1000 women, 15-44

most birthing mothers are 20-34 years old

40% of births are to unmarried mothers, and half of those are to cohabiting couples

childfree women

• high status occupation

• less religion

• more likely to be employed/work full time

• more likely to be first born or only child

• less traditional ideas about gender/family

• childfree couples- higher satisfaction but higher divorce as well

infertility

• 20% of heterosexual women are unable to conceive within a year

• increased risk of infertility in men

  • age (over 40)

  • obesity

  • excessive drug/alcohol use

  • testosterone

  • high testes temp

  • smoking

  • exposure to radiation

• increased risk in women

  • obesity or underweight

  • extreme weight loss/gain

  • maternal age (over 30)

  • smoking

  • excessive alcohol use

  • excessive physical or emotional stress that results in amenorrhea

  • chlamydia, endo, PCOS

ideal age to have a child

• teen mothers

  • high risk of hypertension

  • low birth weight babies

  • reduced educational opportunities

  • fewer supportive resources

• over 35

  • higher risk of birth defects, but more resources

Raising a child is approx. $233,610 not counting college!!

pregnancy’s effects on relationships

• physical and psych adjustment- first trimester- estrogen and morning sickness, socialization

• second trimester- excitement builds, nausea and fatigue disappear mostly, baby reaches age of viability

• third trimester- physical discomfort, fatigue, preparing for baby

• childbirth- medicalized in 1940s, expensive and impersonal, so there are other options like birthing center and doulas/midwives

foster care kids

• foster care goal: provide permanent homes and reconnection with bio families when appropriate

• 1/3 of foster kids are with relatives esp grandparents

• children of color, LGBTQ, and disabled kids spend more time in foster

• Supporting Foster Youth and Families thru the Pandemic act- helps youth aging out with school, job training, rent, bills

• adoption laws vary widely from state to state

  • trend is towards open adoption- contact between adoptive and birth families

  • inter racial/ethnic adoption

Becoming parents

• areas of change that comes with children

  • identity and inner life changes

  • shifts between marital roles and relationships

  • shifts in intergenerational relationships

  • changes in roles and relationships outside of family

  • new parenting roles and relationships

• less stress if:

  • they have a strong relationship

  • open communication

  • agreed on family planning

  • had a strong desire for the child

• Fathers more likely to engage in activities than custodial care

• styles of child rearing

  • authoritarian- requires absolute obedience

  • permissive/indulgent- lenient, show more responsive and less demanding behavior

  • authoritative- parents rely on positive reinforcement and infrequent use of punishment

  • uninvolved- parents are not responsive or demanding- may suffer consequences

• another parenting model- LeMasters and DeFrain

  • martyr

  • pal

  • police officer/drill sergeant

  • teacher/counselor

  • athletic coach

• What do children need?

  • prenatal nutrition/care

  • stimulation and care of newborns

  • at least one close attachment during first 5 years

  • childcare when parents are at work

  • protection from illness

  • freedom from physical/sexual abuse

  • respect for individuality

  • safe, nurturing and challenging schooling

  • free of pressure to grow up too fast

  • protection from premature parenthood

Parenting and caregiving in later life

• children are growing up later in life

• most parents with adult children still feel like parents

• children still feel like children til parents are gone

• some parents provide continuously for children that are limited physically or mentally

grandparent styles

• grandparent contribution expanding

• take on greater importance with single parent, foster, and stepparent families

• types

  • companionate

  • remote

  • involved

how many parents work?

• all marriages

  • 1 person employed- 78.7%

  • 1 spouse employed- 25.2%

  • both spouses- 46.8%

  • none employed- 21.3%

• opposite sex couples

  • 1 person employed- 78.7%

  • husband only- 18.2%

  • wife only- 7.2%

  • both- 46.6%

  • none employed- 21.3%

holidays and vacations- US has no guaranteed paid vacation or hoidays, no guaranteed maternal or paternal leave

Family leave and medical act (1993)

• covers those working for

  • private sector employers w at least 50 employees

  • public agencies

  • schools

• conditions of employment

  • must have been employed minimum of 12 months before leave

  • must work at least 24 hrs a week

• what is covered?

  • job is held up to 12 months

  • insurance is continued but no pay

• conditions of family leave

  • care for newborn

  • care for receiving foster/newly adopted child

  • care for seriously ill child, parent, or spouse

  • serious medical condition of employee

  • Military Caregiver leave- 26 weeks to care for seriously ill or injured child, spouse, or parents of active military personnel

work/family considerations

• 1980s-90s upscaling in American Dream

  • comfort to luxury

  • McMansions

  • faster, quicker (fashion, food)- more waste

• Pandemic calls into question assumptions about

  • time

  • location

  • wages

  • productivity

  • importance of social wealth and time wealth

• overworked employees=more anger, resentment, mistakes at work, stress, poorer health

• underworked employees

  • gig economy

    • less stable

    • more difficulty in coordinating hours

    • less/no paid time off for healthcare

    • cash jobs and lower Social Security

    • greater difficulty meeting demands of work, family, school

• emotional distress comes with unemployment, esp for men because their identity is so closely tied with the role of provider

  • increased risk of emotional withdrawal, spousal abuse, marital distress, and alcohol abuse

work and family spillover

• work spillover

  • work demands and climate have effect on family

  • negative spillover is more common for employed women

• family spillover

  • emotional climate at home have effect on workplace (positive and negative)

Role issues

• role conflict

  • positions we occupy contain competing, contradictory, or simultaneous role expectations

• role strain

  • occurs when the demands attached to a particular status are contradictory or incompatible

• role overload

  • occurs when our roles require more than we can give and we’re drowning in responsibility

familial division of labor

• traditional pattern

  • male breadwinner, female housewife

  • 18% of households are like this

    • may or may not be reflection of ideologies, may simply be what works for that family

• women’s employment patterns and second shift

  • women’s employment typically cuts back to have children

  • women tend to have a second shift when they get home from work

  • women are much more likely to cut back on hours to meet family demands

• dual earner/career families

  • dual earner- 2 incomes to maintain a decent standard of living

  • dual career- focus on achievement and gender equality

  • often difficult for both partners to achieve goals, usually one has to be sacrificed for the other

  • housework

    • women tend to do more work regardless of employment

    • cohabiting couples tend to have a more equal division of labor than married couples

    • marriage, rather than living with a man, turns women into homemakers

    • men do more than before but still less than women

    • do more if wife earns more and has higher education

    • younger men and men of color do more

• shift couples

  • couples who structure their lives and work into turn taking, alternating system of paid and family work

  • lower marital satisfaction, more distress, increased rate of divorce

  • save money by having one parent home at all times

• peer marriages

  • focus on fairness rather than gender tradition when deciding

    • career needs/work schedule

    • childcare

    • household division of labor

• at home fathers and breadwinning mothers

  • seem to be a role reversal, but it could actually be disability, unemployment, retirement, school

Family issues in the workplace

• need for adequate childcare

  • finding reliable, safe, affordable childcare sucks

• employment affects educational opportunities

  • lack of adequate childcare may limit mothers and their job opportunities

• child care crisis

violence- an act with the intention or perceived intention of causing physical pain or injury to another person

intimate partner violence- all violence among intimate partners

types of intimate violence

• situational violence

  • usually erupts during an argument and doesn’t result in serious injury

• intimate terrorism

  • one partner tries to dominate and control the other

• violent resistance

  • self defense violence, usually by women

• mutual violent control

  • both partners are trying to violently control each other

• common couple violence represents gender symmetry- similarity in estimates of male-female and female-male intimate violence

prevalence of intimate violence

• impossible to know exact statistics on prevalence of intimate violence- largely underreported and hidden

• intimate partner violence ranges between 17-39% any given year

why families are violent

• individualistic explanations

  • violence is related to personality disorder, mental illness, substance abuse

  • allows abuser to attribute violence to things outside of their control

• ecological model

  • used to explore child abuse

  • cultural approval of physical punishment and lack of community support for families can increase risk of violence

• feminist model

  • stresses gender inequality and role of male dominance over women

• social stress and learning model

  • social stress aspect- structural stress (income, illness) and cultural norms (spare the rod, spoil the child) contribute to family violence

  • resource model

    • violence used to offset lack of income, power, education, interpersonal skills

• exchange-social control model

  • weigh cost-benefit, private nature of family, occurs if person thinks they can get away with it

gender, power, stress and intimacy

• gender- male violence tends to be more common and extreme

• power- central motive in partner violence

• stress- may raise likelihood of violence, but is not the cause

• intimacy- we see love/family as private, which can legitimize violence

socioeconomic status and race

• SES- household income has greatest influence on violence

• race- Native and multiracial people have highest rates of victimization

Women and men as victims/survivors and perpetrators

• battering- slapping, punching, knocking down, choking, kicking, hitting with objects, threatening with weapons, stabbing, shooting

  • women are just as likely to batter men as men are to batter women

  • women’s violence tends to be situational and doesn’t cause great injury, while men’s tends to be more extreme

• female survivors

  • higher rates of violence among low income women, younger women (20-24), and Native/African American women

  • more affluent groups’ victimization likely underreported

• characteristics of male perpetrators

  • traditional role stereotypes and moral rightness of violence

  • low self esteem/entitlement

  • sadistic, passive aggressive use of sex, pathologically jealous

  • socially isolated

  • unemployed

  • not generational- most men raised by violent parents don’t become violent themselves

• intimate partner and sexual violence among men

  • sexual violence- sex without freely obtained consent

  • 1/3 men experience sexual or physical violence or stalking by an intimate partner

  • 56% experience this before age 25

  • 1/4 men experience some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime

  • 1/17 men are victims of stalking in their lifetime

• female perpetrators

  • assaulting a spouse is an “intrinsic moral wrong”

  • avoid sending message that some violence is acceptable

  • danger of escalation

  • assault is a model for violent behavior in children

marital and intimate partner rape

• unwanted sexual penetration, perpetrated by force, threat of harm, or when victim is intoxicated

• can be perpetrated by males or females and can be oral vaginal or anal penetration

• marital rape- not illegal til 1993

• wives are offered full protection from husbands in less than half of states

violence in gay and lesbian relationships

• occurs in comparable rates to heterosexual couples

• can be very difficult due to lack of support services for LGBT people

adolescent relationships

• physical violence- 13%

• verbal violence- 26%

• 62% of tweens either have experienced or know someone who has experienced intimate partner violence

• college- violence in 1/3 to 1/2 of relationships

• only half tell someone else, often stay in the relationship

date rape and coercive violence

• date rape- acquaintance rape

  • sex with a dating partner that occurs against their will with force or threat of force

  • alcohol/drugs are often involved

  • hookup culture described as rape culture by Lisa Wade- focused on meaningless sex

4 types of child abuse/neglect

• physical abuse- intentional physical force that can result in physical injury

• sexual abuse- pressuring or forcing a child to engage in sexual acts

• emotional abuse- harm to self worth or emotional well-being

• neglect- failure to meet child’s basic physical and emotional needs

forms of emotional child abuse

• spurning: ridiculing or belittling

• terrorizing: threatening a child or placing them in a dangerous position

• isolating: denying child the opportunity to interact, confining a child, imposing unreasonable limitations on a child’s freedom

• exploiting: use of drugs, alcohol, exposure to prostitution or other criminal activity

• denying emotional responsiveness: failing/refusing to express affection

• neglect of mental or medical health or educational needs

prevalence of child maltreatment

• estimated 1/7 children (underestimated)

• in 2020, 1750 children died of abuse and neglect

• children living in poverty 5 times more likely to suffer abuse or neglect

• consequences:

  • injury

  • chronic abuse and toxic stress

  • lower education

  • higher risk of continued victimization

how to prevent child abuse/neglect

• strengthen economic support- fund daycare and promote family friendly work policies.

• change social norms towards more positive parenting

• quality care and education- preschool and early childhood care

• improve parenting skills- parenting and family relationship education

• intervene to lessen harm and prevent future harm

hidden victims of family violence

• sibling violence

  • most common form of family violence

  • annually, 2/3 teens commit an act of violence against a sibling

• parent violence

  • more boys act violently, mothers are more often the recipients of violence

  • increases with adolescence

• elder abuse

  • common- 1/10 people 60 and older experience elder who live at home

  • underestimated- only based on non-fatal injuries from ER

  • victims fearful or unable to tell others

  • may be dependent on perp for care

  • rates of nonfatal assault and homicide higher in men

  • types of abuse- physical, sexual, psychological/emotional, neglect, financial

  • abandonment

    • granny dumping

    • abandoned in public location, ER, nursing home

    • 100000 per year in the US

    • occurs in other countries as well

    • senior citizen postbox

  • how to help

    • listen to older adults and caregivers to understand

    • check in on older adults

    • report abuse or suspected abuse to local adult protective services, long term care, or police

    • provide overburdened caregivers with support

    • encourage and assist people with substance abuse issues

responding to intimate and family violence

• intervention and prevention

  • protecting victims

  • rehabilitating offenders

  • assisting families

  • eliminating social stress and strengthening families

• the law

  • mandatory arrest

  • no-drop prosecution

• most common response is jail combined with a mandated group intervention program

  • shown to lower repeat offenses

• Duluth Model

  • emphasizes helping batterers develop critical thinking skills around themes like nonviolence, respect, partnership, and negotiation

measuring divorce

• ratio measure of divorce

  • calculating ratio of marriages to divorces in a given year

• crude divorce rate

  • number of divorces in a given year per 1000 people

• refined divorce rate

  • number of divorces in a given year per 1000 marriages

• predictive divorce rate

  • an estimate of how many new marriages will end in divorce

both marriage and divorce rate have declined since 1979

legal meaning of divorce

• fault based divorce

  • grounds of adultery, cruel and inhuman treatment, mental cruelty, habitual drunkenness and desertion

  • “winner” takes all

• no fault divorce (1970)

  • irreconcilable differences make it impossible for them to continue to be married

  • 1974: first year that more marriages ended due to divorce than due to death of a spouse

  • community property states

divorce risk

• depends on many factors

• about 2/3 of marriages stay together

demographic factors affecting divorce

• employment status

  • low status occupations have higher divorce rates than high status occupations

• income

  • higher income=lower divorce rate

• educational level

  • higher education=lower divorce rates

• ethnicity

  • asian men and women have lower rates of divorce

• religion

  • a high frequency of religious attendance lowers risk of divorce (unless only one partner attends regularly

societal factors affecting divorce

• changed nature of family

  • work has moved from home to the factory, making the family non essential unit

• social integration

  • degree of interaction between individuals and larger community can affect rates of divorce

• individualistic cultural values

  • society values individual happiness over that of the family

life course factors affecting divorce

• age at time of marriage

  • under 25 or over 35- higher risk of divorce

  • becoming pregnant or giving birth prior to marriage increases likelihood of divorce

• remarriage

  • the divorce rate for remarriages is higher than for first marriages

• intergeneration transmission

  • having divorced parents gives you higher odds of divorcing

family processes

• early marital happiness

  • low levels of happiness in the early years of marriage increase the risk of divorce

• children

  • children decrease risk of divorce

• marital problems

  • infidelity, substance abuse, growing apart, in laws, communication troubles

  • proximal causes of later divorce- daily complaints raise probability

  • distal causes- things that each person brings to the relationship (income, education, religion, personality, etc.)

weighing decision to divorce

• Levinger’s model

  • attraction: factors that draw one to a relationship

  • alternatives: other options a person has

  • barriers: factors that keep one from leaving (religion, stigma, few resources)

Process of disaffection

• beginning phase- psychological breakup

  • notice issues/flaws

  • still hopeful for change

• middle phase- disappointment

  • expects relationship to fail

  • only notices what’s wrong

• end phase- hopelessness

  • plans breakup

  • may go for therapy

stations of divorce

• emotional divorce

  • when one or both spouses disengages from the marriage

• legal divorce

  • the court-ordered termination of a marriage

• economic divorce

  • dividing of property, money and resources

• co-parental divorce

  • dealing with issues of child custody, visitation and support (most painful)

• community divorce

  • ex in laws, coworkers, neighbors, and friends

• psychic divorce (takes the longest, if ever)

  • feeling complete as a single person; more realistic about circumstances of divorce

  • 70% experience distress in first

  • 75% say divorce was a good thing by year 6

  • psychic divorce (may take up to 10 years

    • peace with ex

    • realistic about self and role in divorce

    • individuation from ex

    • readiness to move on

    • sense of self esteem

    • completeness as an individual

    • future/present orientation

co-parental divorce

• half of all divorces involve children

• binuclear family

  • two households created when parents divorce

• childrens reaction to news of a divorce depends on

  • how the news is disclosed

  • degree of conflict prior to divorce

  • amount of financial hardship

  • actions of divorcing couple

  • adjustment of custodial

economic consequences of divorce

• no fault divorce laws

  • systematically impoverish women and children

  • women have custody of children responsibility for their economic stability

• alimony

  • a monetary payment a former spouse makes to the other to meet their economic needs

• child support

  • a monetary payment made by the non-custodial parent to assist in child rearing expenses

• employment opportunities

  • childcare, family needs

post-divorce income

• income for single mother homes decrease 27%

• income for men increase 10%

• child support covers less than half of the cost of raising a child

  • medial annual amount- $3328

  • 19.5 mil parents are single

  • 5.4 mil have some child support

    • 3.7 mil receive regular payments

    • 1.7 mil receive varying amounts inconsistently

children’s adjustment

• how and when parents tell children

  • parents on a mission

  • younger children guilt

  • adolescents-anger blame

  • degree of conflict prior to divorce

• amount of financial hardship

• actions of divorcing couple

• adjustment of custodial parent

short term consequences (first year)

• grieving over loss

• reduced standard of living

• adjusting to transitions

• relief from conflict

long term negative consequences

• greater marriage anxiety

• unrealistically high expectations for a partner

• difficulty in school

• economic/occupational impact (tied to financial hardship rather than divorce)

positive consequences

• 80% lead happy, well adjusted lives

• better relationship with custodial parent

• more communication with mothers

• more democratic parenting

children’s responses to divorce

• acknowledging parental separation

• disengaging from parental conflicts

• resolving loss, anger, blame

• accepting the finality of divorce

• achieving realistic expectations for later relationship success

how to help children adjust

• open discussions about separation and divorce

• healthy involvement with non-custodial parent

• lack of hostility between divorced parents

child custody

• custody is awarded to mothers in most cases

• sole custody

  • the child lives with one parent who has sole responsibility for making all decisions regarding upbringing

• split custody

  • children are divided between parents

• joint custody

  • joint legal custody- child lives with one parent but both parents share decision making

  • joint physical custody- child lives with both parents, splitting time between households

• visitation or coparenting

  • noncustodial parent involvement ranges from highly involved to completely removed

  • mandatory visitation- treat visitation as an obligation of parents and an expectation to be enforced by authorities

  • divorce mediation

    • assist divorcing couples in resolving issues in a cooperative manner

    • promotes shared parenting

characteristics of single parent families

• creation by divorce or births to unmarried women

  • single parent families created by births to unwed mothers are more common than those created by divorce

  • these families receive little social support

• headed mostly by mothers

  • over 85% of single parent families are headed by women

  • given gender discrimination, single mothers are much more likely to be in poverty than single fathers

  • moms get more judgement, dads get more praise

characteristics of single parent families

• diversity of living arrangements

  • single parent families can include outside romantic partners or live in partners

  • social father- male relative family associate or mothers partner who demonstrates father behavior

  • private safety nets- support from social networks that the family can fall back on in times of need

characteristics of single parent families

• transitional form

  • single parent families tend to be a transitional family form that can precede marriage or occur after divorce

• intentional single parent families

  • some women haven’t found a suitable partner or do not want a partner- intentionally become single parents

children in single parent families

• negative outcomes: behavioral problems, academic performance, and mental and physical health

• cope with parents loneliness, depression, and increased stress (parentification)

• positive outcomes- child learning more responsibility, more time with custodial parent, and feeling less pressure to conform to gender roles

successful single parenting

• accept responsibilities and challenges for single parenthood

• parenting as first priority

• consistent, non-punitive parenting

• emphasis on open communication

• fostering individuality supported by the family

• recognition of the need for self-nurturing

• dedication to rituals and traditions

single parent family strengths

• parenting skills

  • successful single parents have ability to take on new roles

• personal growth

  • developing a positive attitude helps

• communication

  • through good communication, a single parent can develop trust

• family management

  • coordinate activities

• financial support

repartnering

impact of repartnering on children

• more difficult than divorce

• dating concerns

• cohabitation and severed ties

  • does living together=more money

• impact on parental involvement

  • greatest involvement when both parents are single

  • least involvement when father has remarried and mother has not

  • maternal roles more in conflict than paternal roles

courtship in repartnering

• courtship differs between first marriages and remarriages

  • may trigger old wounds but likely goes into it with more realistic expectations for this relationship

• many divorced persons choose to cohabit before remarriage or in place of it

• single parents usually keep children as central figures in their life

remarriage rates

• most are second marriages

• men have higher rates than women

• foreign born hispanic men rate highest (58%)

• black men lowest (16%)

• white people most likely to have 3rd + marriages

factors influencing remarriage

• children lower probability of remarriage for men and women but moreso for women

• women’s rate of remarriage decreases with age

• those who are employed and socialize with coworkers are more likely to remarry

• initiators are more likely to remarry

characteristics of remarriage

• marital satisfaction

  • people seem to be as satisfied in second marriages as they are in first

  • remarriage lacks societal norms, laws, and behavioral prescriptions

  • remarriages are subject to different stresses

  • children from previous relationships complicate remarriage

stations of remarriage

• emotional, community, parental, legal, economic, psychic

blended families

• stepfamilies

• as common today as in the 17-1800s

• from divorce rather than death

• incomplete institution

• pressure to remarry based on deficit model

characteristics of stepfamilies

• more complex

• born of loss

• love not assumed

• unclear roles

• sexual attractions

• step parents have few legal rights

stepfamily development- 7 years?

• later stages

  • contact- relationships become genuine

  • resolution- family becomes solid

• can successfully fill traditional family functions

• benefits

  • additional role models

  • greater flexibility

  • gain extra support

  • gain extended kin network

  • improved economic situation

  • happily married parents