Close Relationships

Types of Relationships

• The term "relationship" broadly refers to ongoing interactions between two individuals.
• Various relationships share common characteristics.

Communal Relationships

• Benefits are allocated based on individual needs.
• Equity is expected, but immediate reciprocation isn't necessary.
• One-sided relationships can be unsatisfying.
• Individuals with greater needs receive more benefits.
• Relationship quality depends on meeting each partner's needs.
• Example: parent-child relationship, where the child's needs are typically greater and reciprocation isn't immediate.
• Relationship quality varies based on how well both parent and child's needs are met.

Exchange Relationships

• Governed by reciprocity.
• Benefits are provided with the expectation of reciprocation.
• Reciprocation should not be excessively delayed.
• Relationship quality is determined by the equity of the exchange.
• Imbalance or perceived lack of reciprocation can lead to dissatisfaction and termination.
• Feeling under-benefited may lead to relationship termination.

Communal vs. Exchange Relationships

• All relationships involve both costs and benefits.
• Individuals incur costs to provide benefits.
• Communal and exchange relationships differ in the rules governing when benefits are provided.
• To determine the type of relationship, consider how you'd feel if someone immediately reciprocated a kind gesture.
• Immediate reciprocation is normal in exchange relationships but may seem odd in communal ones.

Liking and Reciprocity

• Liking is influenced by how much others reward us.
• Married individuals are liked more when they reciprocate.
• Unmarried individuals are liked more when they don't reciprocate.

Self-Disclosure

• Self-disclosure can increase liking, provided it is appropriate and not too rapid.
• Disclosing and receiving an empathic response enhances liking for the other person.
• Disclosure tends to elicit self-disclosure from others, fostering intimacy over time.

Affective Interdependence: Intimacy and Commitment

Social Penetration Theory

• Cycles of self-disclosure and empathetic responses lead to intimacy.
• Individuals feel understood, accepted, valued, and esteemed.
• Partners' esteem becomes intertwined with one's self-esteem.
• Emotional bonds of warmth and caring develop.
• Well-being becomes dependent on the partner’s well-being, promoting commitment.

Close Relationships (Fiske's Definition)

• Characterized by interaction, mutual influence, intimacy, and strong feelings.

Interdependence in Close Relationships

• Behavioral: interacting with and influencing each other.
• Cognitive: mutual understanding of close intimacy.
• Affective: potential for strong feelings.

Behavioral Interdependence

• Frequency: time spent together, especially alone in the evening.
• Diversity: range of domains affected.
• Strength: influence on behaviors, decisions, activities, plans, and goals.
• High scores on the Relationship Closeness Inventory (RCI) correlate with relationship stability and emotional distress upon termination.

Behavioral Interdependence: Transformations in Exchange

• Experiment: Participants (SS) divide money between themselves and different types of people: spouse, best friend, friendly acquaintance.
• In some conditions, the other person knows the participant’s role in the division.
• Measured allocation to self minus allocation to others.
• Result: Closeness significantly affected money allocation; knowledge of the participant's role did not. The findings suggest close others are treated as if their resources were, to some extent, our own.

Cognitive Interdependence: Partner Becomes Part of the Self

• Participants rate traits describing themselves, their spouse, and a celebrity.
• Later, they categorize traits as "me" or "not me" as quickly as possible.
• Reaction times (RT) are measured for:
  • Self & spouse match and differ from celebrity.
  • Self and celebrity differ from spouse.
• Result: Dissimilarity to spouse creates confusion and slows RT. This effect correlates with rated closeness to the spouse.

Relational Turbulence Theory

• Transition points in relationships can disrupt routines and evoke negative emotions.
• Two consequences of transitions:
  • Interference: new interdependence makes tasks more difficult.
  • Relational uncertainty: questions about commitment.
• Both intensify reactions to negative experiences during transitions.
• Relational uncertainty impacts the interpretation of relationship experiences.
• Psychological mechanisms, such as confirmation bias, may explain this.

Commitment and Attachment

• Despite potential hassles and negative emotions, commitment and attachment tend to increase, even with signs of incompatibility.

The Return of Positive Illusions

• Reasons for overly positive initial impressions:
  • Focus on positive aspects.
  • Limited exposure to negative contexts.
  • Careful self-presentation.
• As relationships deepen, two opposing forces emerge:
  • Increased interdependence and commitment.
  • Increased opportunities to observe negative information.
• Negative information becomes readily available and threatening.
• People bolster positive impressions to cope with threats to commitment caused by conflict.
• Individuals with positive illusions tend to have better relationships than those who see their partners accurately.

Awareness of Optimism

• Individuals rate themselves as less attractive than their friends do, and friends rate them as less attractive than their partners do.

The Michelangelo Effect

• Perceptions of partners influence behavior toward them.
• By perceiving a partner as more similar to their ideal self, we can facilitate their becoming that ideal self.
• Strategies:
  • Creating opportunities for partners to display their best selves.
  • Constraining situations to prevent the display of negative behaviors.
• Over time, partners may internalize these behaviors, leading to changes in self-perception.