Author: Miss A. Timbe, John Jay College, Centre for English Language Support (2007)
Academic writing requires careful consideration of ideas.
Informal writing can lead to misconceptions about the seriousness of ideas.
Editing for informal language is crucial for academic integrity.
Examples:
"Criminals are dangerous."
"Americans are overweight."
Examples:
"School is a big thing in my life."
"They arrested some people at the march."
"Drinking while driving is bad."
Using "you" may lead to ambiguity:
Example: "When you work with a patient who is very ill, you need to be patient."
Be more specific:
"Violent criminals can be dangerous."
"Two-thirds of Americans are overweight."
Use specific terms:
"School is an important part of my life."
"They arrested some protesters at the march."
Replace "you" with specific groups:
"When nurses work with a patient who is very ill, they need to be patient."
Examples:
"My aunt has a lot of kids."
"The criminal justice system is messed up."
Informal Example: "I looked up information about nursing positions."
More Formal: "I researched information about nursing positions."
Example: "Many patients don’t listen to their doctors."
More Formal: "Many patients do not listen to their doctors."
Example: "I chose to attend a CUNY college. Because it is near my home."
More Formal: "I chose to attend a CUNY college because it is near my home."
Exercise 1: Identify informal language in a paragraph about the death penalty. Revise to enhance formality.
Example: "Some people don’t think that the death penalty is humane..."
Generalizations, vague language, and informal expressions should be revised to achieve formality:
Use specific language and strong verbs.
Casual words may not suit academic essays:
Example Revision:
Informal: "A couple of researchers have found out that..."
Formal: "Several researchers have discovered that..."
Prefer strong verbs over phrasal verbs:
Example:
Informal: "The veteran researcher has churned out many articles."
Formal: "The veteran researcher has produced many articles."
Refers to repeating points or phrases unnecessarily.
Example: "Remember to pack the necessary essentials" → "Remember to pack the essentials."
Example: "Many uneducated people who have never attended school..." → "Many uneducated people..."
Phrases like "let me add/suggest" or "it should be noted" are more suitable for speeches.
Avoid redundant degrees of comparison: "More preferable" and "Most unique" are incorrect due to the meanings of 'preferable' and 'unique.'
Examples of unnecessary prepositions:
Comprise of, emphasize on, stress upon
Academic papers should have clear, concise points supporting your argument.
Avoid repetitive writing to enhance clarity.
Focus on effective communication over length.