chastity and the meaning of sex and relationships
final cause: is a total gift of self
physical
emotional
spiritual
two main/inseparable purposes
procreation (babies)
union (bonding)
lust vs. love
lust - disordered desire to USE another person for sexual pleasure
love - willing the highest Good of the other
when makes sense to share this total gift of self?
a total gift of self requires a total commitment of self.
this is what marriage gives us—a permanent context in which a couple is free to give themselves to each other:
freely - nothing pressuring them
totally - holding nothing back
faithfully - exclusive relationship
fruitfully - open to life (not deliberately blocking it)
fruitful
you can’t actively block life using contraception
this would change the nature of the action, making it not a total gift of self (harms unitive final cause)
also makes children seem like an unwanted byproduct of sex instead of an integral part (harms procreative final cause)
can use Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABMs) to prudently determine family size
(research based, not old rhythm method)
using birth control pill for non-contraceptive reasons such as acne or pain is moral/different action
chastity: a virtue that defends true love from selfishness that comes from lust
lust = disordered desire for sexual pleasure
the desire to use vs. the desire to love
everyone is called to live chastely:
goal is that our internal self matches our external self-- our sexual desire in harmony with current state of life: married, single, religious life
marriage is ultimate icon/window we have into the inner life of the Trinity (Lover, Beloved, Love that they share)
yet, it’s only a sign of what’s to come, because there is no marriage in Heaven, just perfect union with God
those in Religious life are already living that reality and remind the rest of us that this is our ultimate destiny too, which is why they do not marry
chastity vs. abstinence
not the same thing (though they are related)
chastity: a virtue that defends authentic love from selfishness that comes from lust
exists in the present, can be started at any time
abstinence: not having sex
for non-married people, abstinence is part of how they live out chastity
people who save sex for marriage report:
higher sexual satisfaction, longer lasting marriages, and much lower rates of STDs and unwanted pregnancies (duh)
final cause: is a total gift of self
physical
emotional
spiritual
two main/inseparable purposes
procreation (babies)
union (bonding)
lust vs. love
lust - disordered desire to USE another person for sexual pleasure
love - willing the highest Good of the other
when makes sense to share this total gift of self?
a total gift of self requires a total commitment of self.
this is what marriage gives us—a permanent context in which a couple is free to give themselves to each other:
freely - nothing pressuring them
totally - holding nothing back
faithfully - exclusive relationship
fruitfully - open to life (not deliberately blocking it)
fruitful
you can’t actively block life using contraception
this would change the nature of the action, making it not a total gift of self (harms unitive final cause)
also makes children seem like an unwanted byproduct of sex instead of an integral part (harms procreative final cause)
can use Fertility Awareness Based Methods (FABMs) to prudently determine family size
(research based, not old rhythm method)
using birth control pill for non-contraceptive reasons such as acne or pain is moral/different action
chastity: a virtue that defends true love from selfishness that comes from lust
lust = disordered desire for sexual pleasure
the desire to use vs. the desire to love
everyone is called to live chastely:
goal is that our internal self matches our external self-- our sexual desire in harmony with current state of life: married, single, religious life
marriage is ultimate icon/window we have into the inner life of the Trinity (Lover, Beloved, Love that they share)
yet, it’s only a sign of what’s to come, because there is no marriage in Heaven, just perfect union with God
those in Religious life are already living that reality and remind the rest of us that this is our ultimate destiny too, which is why they do not marry
chastity vs. abstinence
not the same thing (though they are related)
chastity: a virtue that defends authentic love from selfishness that comes from lust
exists in the present, can be started at any time
abstinence: not having sex
for non-married people, abstinence is part of how they live out chastity
people who save sex for marriage report:
higher sexual satisfaction, longer lasting marriages, and much lower rates of STDs and unwanted pregnancies (duh)