Building Relationships with College Instructors

What your instructors expect from you:

• Be prepared and on time

• Remain for the entire class

• Do the assigned work

• Listen and participate

• Think critically about the material

• Persist even when learning is difficult

• Be honest, open, and sincere

• Be self-motivated

What you can expect from your instructors:

• Grading you fairly

• Providing meaningful feedback

• Being organized, prepared, and enthusiastic

• Being accessible

Peer Leaders

What you can expect from your peer leader:

• Work as co-instructors or student mentors
  Selected because they:

• Have good academic records

• Have strong leadership abilities

• Want to help first-year students be successful

Making the Most of the Learning Relationship

• Most instructors are required to keep office hours

• Make an appointment if you need help with a difficult topic or to discuss a problem

• Instructors who know you well may write you letters of reference when applying to graduate school or for a job

Relationships with College Instructors

Understanding academic freedom:

• Virtually unlimited freedom of speech and inquiry, as long as human lives, rights, and privacy are not violated

• Also extends to students

Handling a conflict with an instructor:

• Can ask for a meeting to discuss the problem

• Can go up the administrative ladder if instructor refuses

Family Connections

• Maintain family relationships throughout your college years

Marriage and parenting during college:

• They can coexist but not easily

• You need to become an expert at time management

• Take time for your partner and family

• Plan carefully as you schedule work and classes

Relationships with your parents:

• They will change

• Communicate with your parents, but make your own decisions

• Be aware of their concerns

• Remember, parents generally mean well

• If needed, seek help from your campus’s counseling center or from a chaplain

Homesickness

• Shift in environment and daily pattern

• Varying speeds of adjustment

Tips for transitions:

• Don’t let go of home all at once

• Reach out slowly

• Keep in mind that you are not the only new person at college.

Personal Relationships

Roommates:

• Must be able to live together comfortably

• Friends don’t always make the best roommates

• Establish rights and responsibilities in writing

• Talk out problems promptly and directly

• Talk to the residence hall adviser if problems persist

• If things do not improve, insist on a change

Romantic relationships/marriage:

• Studies show the younger you are when you marry, the lower your odds of enjoying a successful marriage

• It’s important not to marry before both you and your partner are certain of who you are and what you want

Breaking Up

• End romantic relationships cleanly and calmly

• Explain your feelings, and talk them out

• Take the high road

• Let some time pass

• Be open to emotional support

• Visit your counselor or chaplain if necessary

Relationship No-Nos

• Avoid involvement with someone who is in a “power relationship” with you

• Creates opportunities for abuses of power and/or sexual harassment

• It’s harder to heal from a breakup with a coworker

Protecting Yourself and Others against Sexual Assault and Violence

• Most survivors are women, although everyone is at risk

• The attacker is often someone the survivor knows

• Many assaults go unreported

• Assaults are linked to alcohol use

• Campus Save Act and Clery Act of 1990

• Sexual assault causes traumatic effects

Protecting Yourself and Others against Sexual Assault and Violence

Steps to help a person who has experienced a sexual assault:

• Remain empathetic and nonjudgmental

• Keep information private; ensure the survivor’s confidentiality

• Listen

• Talk with the survivor about how to proceed; discuss options

• Seek out advice from a professional

• Stay in touch; follow up to see if the survivor is getting help

Communicating in a Digital Age

• Match the seriousness of your message to your communication medium

• Online isn’t always more efficient

• Presume that your posts are public

• Remember that your posts are permanent

• Create drafts

• Protect yourself and your online identity