Chapter 1: Sociological Perspectives on Relationships

Chapter 9: Time, Friendship, and Love

Bisexual Orientation

  • Definition: Refers to who an individual is attracted to or engages in emotional and sexual relationships with.

  • Variations of Sexual Orientation:

    • Heterosexual: Attraction to individuals of the opposite gender.

    • Homosexual: Attraction to individuals of the same gender.

    • Pansexual: Attraction to individuals regardless of gender, including those who identify with no specific gender.

    • Polysexual: Attraction to more than one gender but not all genders.

    • Asexual: Individuals who feel little or no attraction to any gender.

Sexual Minority

  • Definition: Refers to individuals who do not identify as heterosexual.

  • Research Limitation: Many studies of romantic love are influenced by heterosexism, the assumption that relationships are predominantly heterosexual. Research findings are often generalized across sexual orientations without appropriate specification.

Romantic Relationships Findings

  • Most romantic relationships report similar values concerning love and commitment across diverse sexual orientations.

  • Levels of satisfaction in relationships do not significantly differ among sexual orientations.

Theory of Love: Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love (1986)

  • Components of Love:

    • Intimacy: Refers to warmth, closeness, sharing in relationships, encompassing both emotional and physical intimacy.

    • Passion: Involves intense feelings (both positive and negative) experienced in love relationships, including sexual desire.

    • Commitment: The decision and intent to maintain a close relationship despite difficulties and costs.

  • Visual Representation: A triangle representing the three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

  • Types of Love Based on Components:

    • Non-Love: Absence of intimacy, passion, and commitment (most casual interactions).

    • Consummate Love: Presence of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

    • Romantic Love: Intimacy and passion without commitment.

    • Companionate Love: Intimacy and commitment without passion.

    • Fatuous Love: Passion and commitment without intimacy.

    • Liking: Intimacy alone.

    • Empty Love: Commitment alone.

    • Infatuation: Passion alone.

  • Cultural Universality: The triangular theory applies across different cultures and same-sex relationships.

  • Relationship Satisfaction: All three components are positively associated with relationship satisfaction.

Attachment Theory in Romantic Love

  • Adult Attachment Theory: Examines relationships and attachment styles that develop from infancy, impacting how individuals interact in close relationships.

  • Researcher: Mary Ainsworth studied attachments through the Strange Situation method, involving observation of infant responses to caregiver absence and return.

  • Types of Attachment Styles:

    • Secure Attachment: Infants show distress upon caregiver's departure but are easily comforted upon return.

    • Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment: Infants exhibit anxiety upon separation and resistance to comfort at reunion.

    • Avoidant Attachment: Infants show little anxiety during separation and avoidance upon reunion.

  • Influences on Attachment Quality:

    • Warm Responsive Parenting: Leads to secure attachments.

    • Cold Rejecting Parenting: Leads to avoidant attachments.

    • Inconsistent Parenting: Leads to anxious-ambivalent attachments.

Adult Attachment Behaviors

  • Secure Adults: Trust others, have mutual interdependence, and longer-lasting relationships.

  • Insecure Adults: Distrustful of others, avoid intimacy, and experience short-duration relationships, with high rates of jealousy and fear of abandonment.

  • Transition from Insecure to Secure: Therapy can assist individuals with insecure attachment styles to gain security.

Relationship Dynamics Over Time

  • Progress of Love Components: Passion peaks early and declines, while intimacy and commitment build gradually.

  • Causes of Declining Passion:

    • Reality checks on fantasies about partners.

    • Waning novelty.

    • Physical arousal cannot sustain itself indefinitely.

  • Implications for Relationships: Decreases in intimacy more often predict breakup than decreases in passion.

Reasons Why Relationships End

  • Factors Leading to Breakups:

    • Premature Commitment: Couples not adequately getting to know each other.

    • Ineffective Communication: Higher negativity leads to dissatisfaction.

    • Relationship Boredom: Loss of excitement.

    • Availability of Attractive Alternatives: Other potential partners.

    • Low Satisfaction Levels: Overall dissatisfaction influences end of relationships.

Duncan's Model of Breakup Stages

  • Stages in Relationship Breakup:

    1. Breakdown Process: Dissatisfaction arises.

    2. Intrapsychic Process: Partners ruminate on issues internally.

    3. Dyadic Process: Discussion between partners about relationship issues.

    4. Social Process: Friends/family become aware of issues.

    5. Grave Dressing Process: Partners find closure.

    6. Resurrection Process: Partners move beyond breakup pain to prepare for their next life stage.

Positives Following Breakups

  • Learning from negative relationships and personal growth opportunities.

  • Potential for developing future healthy relationships based on past experiences.

Factors Contributing to Relationship Longevity

  • Time to understand each other before commitment.

  • Engaged reciprocal self-disclosure (sharing feelings and needs).

  • Shared values and interests.

  • Effective communication skills to resolve conflicts.

  • Focusing on positive aspects and reducing negativity in communication.

  • Bringing novelty and new experiences into the relationship.

Impact of the Internet on Relationships

  • Usage Statistics:

    • About 30% of U.S. citizens have used online dating apps, mirroring trends in Canada (36%).

    • Acceptance of online dating has risen significantly over time; over 80% find it acceptable.

  • Benefits of Online Dating:

    • Access to a broader range of potential partners.

    • Opportunity for self-evaluation before connecting with others.

    • Convenient interaction from home.

  • Demographic Differences: Younger adults (18-29) are more likely to engage with online dating.

  • Outcomes of Relationships Starting Online: Stable over two years, comparable to traditional methods of meeting.

  • Diversity of Partners: Online dating leads to mixed-background couples that may not occur in traditional settings.

  • Challenges:

    • Anonymity fosters possible misrepresentation in profiles (commonly age, appearance, marital status).

    • Risk of romance scams resulting in financial loss, citing significant statistics on scams reported.

Chapter 10: Marriage and Family

  • Definition of Marriage: Legally and socially recognized union of sexually intimate adults; legalized in Canada for same-sex couples in 2005.

  • Societal Context: Research has primarily focused on heterosexual relationships, often contrasting them with long-term same-sex couples.

  • Traditional Aspects of Marriage: Economic interdependence, common residence, sexual fidelity, and shared responsibility for children.

  • Trends in Marriage Rates: Decreased from 30.5% in 2001 to 20.6% in 2021.

    • Common Law Relationships: Increased frequency, with 44% of Canadians 15 and older married, 12.6% in common-law unions, and 43% unmarried.

  • Social Shifts Affecting Marriage:

    • Growing acceptance of singlehood and cohabitation: living together without marriage has gained greater acceptance, redefining the traditional marriage concept.

    • Increased understanding of divorce as justifiable, leading to high divorce rates.

    • Flexible gender roles where women are often part of the workforce; changing expectations.

    • Voluntary Childlessness: A rising trend where partners intentionally choose to delay or forgo having children.

  • Diversity of Family Structures: Increasing number of single-parent households, stepfamilies, and childless marriages.

  • Overall Conclusion: Traditional marriage is evolving but continues to hold significance, albeit in increasingly diverse forms.