COMM: Module 3 - Verbal Communnic o

In class: Verbal Communication 

2/2/2026

Verbal Communication

  • A system of symbols and codes used to construct and convey messages

→ operates on the principle that we need to participate in the same system. 

  • Ex: people speaking the same language 

  • English is a big system

Symbol

  • A symbol is the word itself (word)

  • When we communicate, we use all the same symbols

  • Arbiritary - we made meaning to the word, understand what they mean and have a shared meaning across it. 

 Referent

  • The thing that the symbol refers to (thing)

Semantic Triangle

  • Challenge in communicating is the symbol 

Denotative meaning 

  • Dictionary definition of the word ; what the word means - such as the word podium

  • Agreed upon meaning

Connotative meaning

  • Specific tone/attitude/opinions (connotations) that the word carries. 

Examples

  • Cocky → Confident

  • Nitpicking → Meticulous

  • Pushy → assertive 

  • Stingy → economical

  • Cheap → frugal

 Negative connotation ; positive connotation 

  • Definitons are not identical but they are close 

  • Even when there are similar dennotative meanings, the connotative meanings may be different

Private meaning

  • Over time certain words can be internalized

  • Words have different meanings to each person - words can trigger people for meanings

  • Such as the word “always”

Shared meaning

  • Refrences that a shared group has - can be an inside group, entire campus communicating

Sapir- Whorf hypothesis

  • Argued that language shapes how we see the world

  • Reasoning: tend to think in language  

  • Strong determinism: language is your tools - you need to have the words 

  • Weak determinism: language influences how we see the world and does not entirely shape it (more popular)

Language Rules

  • Phonological rules 

→ pronunciation

  • Syntatic rules - structuring sentences

→ ordering of words

  • Semantic rules 

→ meanings of individual words

  • Pragmatic rules - based on context

→ interpretation within context

Language issues

  • Ambigious language: Early is ambiguous - different meanings - can be more specific

  • Loaded language: Certain words that are triggers - the word freedom - can be political

  • Inferences: Fill in blanks in other people communications 

  • Dichotomies: Everything lands on far stream of words - “strong” vs “weak”

  • Equivocation: Phrases - jumping around these words

  • Weasel words: “some people say --” → without bearing responsibility on themselves

  • Euphemisms: people don’t die anymore, they pass away. Some phrasing is harsh - so we try to find softer ways to say it

Words have power

  • Awareness of impact of words on other people 

Power and Language

  • Hedges and disclaimers: Hedges - “I think” and add a disclaimer - “I am not sure…” → a way to communicate hard messages to people who won’t listen without saying something mean

  • “I” language: Own it - “I think” vs “everyone knows that”

  • Profanity: Constantly dropping it - it loses meaning ; using selective words at times can be “positive”

  • Hate speech: Dehumanize people with certain characterisitcs

  • Defamation: Words design to take someone down

Sexism and language

  • In US English, there are a lot of subtle ways that we use to elevate men above women

  • More terms to describe a woman then do describe a man ; but there are more positive words to describe a man than a woman

  • “Fireman” “Policeman” vs “Fire fighter” “Police officer” → implying that it is a man 

  • “Male nurse” - implying nurses are supposed to be woman 

Better use of language

  • Being mindful of words, “I” statements, separate opinions and facts 

Metacommunication

  • Meta = about 

  • Communicating with certain tones 

  • Crucial in relationships

Video Lecture: Listening 

Listening

  • The active process of making meaning out of another person’s messages

→ doesn’t specifically focus on any one aspect of listening, but it thinks of it as a holistic component of human communication - process both physically and psychologically what people are saying

Listening vs Hearing 

  • Hearing: A physical physiological process that we engage in ; sensory in nature - hearing many sounds at once: subtle sounds (fan), massive loud (busy space) 

→ We hear these sounds but we are not focused on them

  • However, listening involves that extra focus aspect - psychological process where we pick the sounds we are gathering (even verbal/non-verbal) (visual) - we put them together to make sense in

 → attending to what people are communicating 

  • We spend more time listening than any other activity in our lives - it is a critical activity 

  • Listening skills are linked with personal + professional success (career jump - excellent listening skills)

Components of listening 

  • We use the “HURIER” model → 6 step proccess

→ H Hearing: physical process of receiving the sound 

→ U Understanding: comprehending the meaning of the words and phrases we use (ties into verbal communication)

→ R Remembering: To be able to store and retrieve the information in order to get anything of value from it - lock it into our brains at some level

→ I Interpreting: Once we have heard it, it is important for us to think “what does that mean?” → assigning meaning to the information that we have selected and organize (perception)

→ E Evaluating: assess the value of the information that we have recieved

→ R Responding: We give feedback to the person who has spoken - sometimes we “stonewall” → silent ; sometimes we “back-channel” → we respond with facial expressions/vocalizing - show speaker we are attentive ; “paraphrasing” → restate the information in your own words 

Listening Styles - predispositions for how they listen

  • People- oriented: Tends to have a big interest in others ; focus is on other individual - interest is in those people. This is good for building connections and navigating informal situations, casual convos. 

  • Action-oriented: Focus is on information and making sure you get it down accurately ; ex: a lecture with an exam coming up - listening will be action orientated, listening to make sure to get the information and be able to do something with it and taking action - taking the information from lecture and using that info during the exam 

  • Content-orientated: Deeply understand the detailed and complex information in front of us - good when something is intellectually challenging, good for persuasive information 

  • Time-orientated: Great for people who wanna be efficient ; speaking is very quick and to the point - we want to learn information as rapidly as possible - excellent in emergencies

  • Different people default to these four different listening styles - some folks who are efficient and some people are people orientated. All of us also use these when we need to. 

Listening types - different ways in which we tune our ears

  • Informational listening: Just trying to learn 

  • Critical listening: trying to evaluate/analyze information

  • Empathic listening: Try to experience what the other person who is speaking, is thinking/feeling

  • Inspirational listening: when somebody is giving a speech - listen to be inspired. Religious settings, motivational speech

  • Appreciative listening: Listen to enjoy ourselves - stand up comedian, listening to stories from friends

Barriers to listening

  • Noise: All sorts of interference that can occur 

        →  Physical Barriers (outside of us): Trying to teach and someone is jackhammering outside class - it is a physical barrier to listening

       → Physiological Barriers (pain, fatigue, hearing): Things going on inside our bodies, which can prevent us from focusing on what we need to focus on - ex: feeling pain, bad hearing

       → Psychological Barriers (within our minds): things happen inside our brains - preoccupied with other stuff - distraught from horrible news

  •  Pseudolistening and Selective Attention

→ psuedolistening is when someone is talking to you and you are not fully engage, but you are acting out the verbals/nonverbals as if you are → “fake listening”

→ Selective attention: sometimes we only focus when we want to - someone is boring

  • Information Overload: Happens in college classrooms a lot - giving more info over time - and it is overwhelmed (trying to catch up)

  •  Glazing Over/Daydreaming: When bored, we zone out/focus on nothing - brains go blank

  •  Rebuttal Tendency: tried to debate the person talking to you inside your head while they are talking - before even listening to what they say - that is not even listening

  • Close-Mindedness: when we don’t agree with somebody - we often shut off and do a poor job listening to them

  • Competitive Interrupting: some people are skilled at this - when we use interruptions to keep taking control of a conversation

  • Conflicting Objectives: Times where we are trying to listen but there is something suggesting that we don’t need to. Ex: example - not on the exam → who cares if it is not on the exam 

Active Listening - ideal way to get better at listening 

  1. Paraphrasing: paraphrasing what people say to us - returning it back to them 

  2. Reflection: Thinking about what other people say

  3. Questions: thinking about what questions to ask 

Becoming a better listener

  • For informational listening 

→ Seperate what is and is not said

→ avoid confirmation bias

→ Listen for substance over style

  • For critical listening 

→ Be skeptical

→ evaluate a speaker’s creditability

→ understand possibility vs probability 

  • For empathic listening 

→ Listening nonjudgementally

→ acknowledge feelings

→ show support nonverbally

Video Short: Tips to Better Conversation 

Better conversation: we can do this

  • Stop multitasking: overstimulation can lead to a lack of focus on person talking 

  • Keep your focus ; keep listening 

  • Ask open questions

  • Don’t overshare ; it’ll clog your conversation 

  • Set aside your opinion for a moment 

  • Stop matching/one-upping

  • Stop repeating yourself

  • Be efficient