Chapter 7 - Liking and Loving

What is Love?

• Faces - babies love faces

  • Pretty faces > other faces —> society finds them attractive

• Appearance qualities

  • symmetry

  • good skin

  • good teeth

  • hygiene

• Physical attractiveness

  • healthier

  • happier

    • unrelated to self-esteem

  • more sensitive

  • successful

• Super beautiful people are skeptical of merit-based compliments

• beautiful = good bias

  • pretty = good person

• friends —> lovers : looks matter less

• Beautiful = good stereotype

  • attractive people are more competent/positive characteristics

• Other qualities

  • kindness

  • humor

  • dependabilty

  • sociability

  • intelligence

• Proximity

  • (mere exposure effect)

  • babies love faces that look like their primary caretaker (mom)

    • own race

      • ex: tuxedo penguins get used to a white penguin after a while, and accept it into their group

    • music taste

    • letter in name

• Online dating

  • 67% - Gen Z on dating apps support trans rights

    • 71% women

    • 98% non binary

    • 51% men

• Similarity

  • common interests

  • beliefs

  • attitude

  • age

  • religion

  • race

  • education

  • IQ

  • economic status

KEY CONDITIONS

• equity - equal investment (input/output) between partners

• self-disclosure - willingness to be vulnerable/intimate to others

• Positive support - How couples communicate/support each other

• Commitment - How to collaborate/maintain relationships

• Love triangles

  • Triangle model of love —> Robert Sternberg

    • intimacy, commitment, passion

      • all 3: consumnate love

• Sunk-cost bias

  • Invest time, emotional energy, and effort into a relationship

    • WHEN IT DOESNT WORK OUT

      • ex: I’ve been with them so long, but we cant break up because I could have wasted all these years!

• Close relationships - loving, caring, commitment, intimacy

  • happy/healthy

  • higher self-efficacy and self-esteem

  • positive mood

• Liking/loving - interpersonal attraction

  • physical attractiveness —> initial

  • younger/more familiar faces/interests are the most attractive

    • average

  • cultural/social factors

• Attachment styles

  • *shift in adulthood*

  • secure - thrive on emotional intimacy

    • comfort/strength

    • confidence

    • self-worth

    • accepts support

  • insecure

    • anxious

      • distant

      • unemotional

      • avoids closeness

    • avoidant

      • clingy

      • highly emotional

      • reassurance

    • disorganized

      • intense

      • push-pull

      • unpredictable