Social Psychology 2 - Attraction, Friendship, and Love

Introduction

• Welcome and introduction of Professor Lisa Williams, social psychologist.

• Lecture focuses on attraction, covering friendship and love.

• Goal of the lecture:

  • Explain core ideas underlying social relationships.

  • Outline three influences on interpersonal attraction.

  • Detail methods for cultivating loving relationships.

Core Ideas in Social Relationships

• Need to Belong: Humans have an inherent desire to connect with others, akin to needs for food and safety.

• Need for Intimacy: Beyond physicality, this refers to a psychological closeness with others, explaining the drive for intimate relationships.

Measurement of Intimacy

• Overlap in self-concept:

  • Measurement involves visualizing oneself as a red circle overlapping with another as a blue circle.

  • More intimate relationships show greater overlap, often developed over time.

• Circles of Intimacy:

  • Structure where individuals are organized by intimacy level (e.g., closest partners, friends, acquaintances, strangers).

Importance of Disclosure

• Disclosure: Sharing personal history, secrets, and concerns leads to increased intimacy.

  • Individuals who share more are generally liked more.

  • Caution against oversharing, which can be off-putting.

• Three findings on disclosure:

  1. Intimate Disclosure: People who engage in intimate disclosures are liked more.

  2. Disclosing to Liked Individuals: People disclose more to those they like.

  3. Liking from Disclosure: People develop feelings of liking when they disclose to others.

Principles of Interpersonal Attraction

• Three main principles:

  1. Similarity:

     • Attraction is higher among individuals with shared attributes (attitudes, beliefs, interests).

     • Studies show shared attitudes increase attraction significantly.

  2. Proximity:

     • Physical closeness fosters friendships due to convenience.

     • Mere exposure effect: Increased familiarity leads to increased liking.

  3. Positive Affect:

     • Positive emotions during interactions enhance attraction; negative emotions diminish it.

Strategies to Cultivate Loving Relationships

• Concept of Positive Relationship Deposits:

  • Positive interactions act like deposits in a "relationship bank account," fostering long-term satisfaction and stability.

• Four key actions to nurture positive relationships:

  1. Active Constructive Responding: Engaging positively when someone shares good news fosters connection.

  2. Expressing Gratitude: Regularly expressing thanks strengthens bonds.

  3. Forgiveness: Capacity for forgiveness during conflicts is crucial for relationship longevity.

  4. Spending Meaningful Time: Engaging in meaningful, shared activities enhances relational depth.

Conflict in Relationships

• Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (negative conflict behaviors):

  1. Criticism: Attacking character instead of concerns.

  2. Contempt: Disrespectful behavior and remarks.

  3. Defensiveness: Avoiding accountability during a conflict.

  4. Stonewalling: Withdrawal from communication and discussion.

• Couples with strong positive interactions manage conflicts better and are less inclined to engage in negative patterns.

Recent Findings in Relationship Science

• Research highlights the effectiveness of third-person perspectives in conflict resolution.

• The impact of interpersonal attraction factors remains relevant in the evolving social landscape.