Video Notes Flashcards: Online Relationships and Limerence

Dialogue Snapshot

The speaker references: "So a boyfriend? She Dear Daniel. Wait. Wait. Excuse me."
This is the first time I'm hearing of this. I mean, you basically stole mine.
He's mousy.
"Yeah. I look you feel like Gatsby feels more limerence towards Daisy instead of, like, obsession."
Well, no. They all love like, this In your head, you're making it real, but, like, it's not an actual relationship, and I'm speaking from experience.
You're speaking from experience.
I'm speaking no. I'm saying it's not real because I'm speaking from experience because I, unfortunately, was a victim of an online relationship.
That's not real. Like, in your head, you're like, oh, this is a real relationship, but, like, you don't see them. Scratching the reality. Like, you don't see them. You don't meet them.
Like, My brother, that just makes you a weird freak. Like, that just makes you a freak.
Oh my god. Oh my god.

Online relationship vs real-life relationship: absence of meeting; reliance on digital cues; you can't verify presence; the speaker suggests it's not a real relationship.
Limerence vs obsession: use of Gatsby example to illustrate limerence toward Daisy rather than obsession.
Reality vs imagined relationship: phrase "in your head, you're making it real" and assertion that it's not real unless met.
Personal testimony as evidence: phrases like "I'm speaking from experience" and admission of being a victim of online relationship.
Social stigma and language: repeated use of "freak" to denote negative perception of online relationships.

Limerence: intense emotional state of longing and desire for reciprocation, often with idealization and fantasy.
Obsession: persistent preoccupation that may border on fixation; the transcript contrasts it with limerence via Gatsby reference.
Reality testing in relationships: verifying by meeting, seeing the other person; lack of meeting undermines perceived reality.
Online relationship risks: misperception due to lack of physical cues; privacy; trust; deception risk (not explicit but implied).

Gatsby and Daisy: used to illustrate difference between limerence (emotional longing with idealization) and a stable, real relationship; the speaker suggests Gatsby's feelings are limerence, not obsession.

Ownership and claims: "you basically stole mine" implies a conflict about someone else claiming a relationship that is not theirs; touches on issues of consent and property in relationships.
Privacy and exposure: online relationships can involve sharing feelings without verifying the other person; family/friend influence ("My brother") and social stigma ("freak").

What the transcript reveals about perceptions of online relationships: skepticism about authenticity; emphasis on meeting in person as a marker of relationship legitimacy.
Behavioral cues: talk about "in your head" vs external reality; the necessity of grounding online partnerships in real-world interactions.

Cognitive biases: idealization can produce intense but possibly inaccurate perceptions.
Social psychology: online disinhibition and self-presentations; the dynamic of online romantic interactions.
Ethics of digital communication: how words like "stole mine" reflect perceived ownership and trust.

Define limerence and contrast it with obsession using Gatsby as an example from the transcript.
Explain the distinction between an online relationship and a real-life relationship as depicted in the transcript.
Discuss how the phrase "in your head, you're making it real" captures a key cognitive bias in online dating contexts.
What ethical or social implications are raised by the lines about ownership and being called a "freak"?