communication as like a “cocktail mixture”
theres pscyoloty, socilogy, etc
its real life situations
ex: first date, conflict, how to end relationship, talk to ppl
This class is a human science course, connections to real life
What is interpersonal comm?
An exchange of symbols; a dynamic between two ppl ( known as a “dyad” ) created through converstations and predicted on perception, culture, language, and much more
non verbal comm is open to interpretation
non verbal is not universal all the time
rarely do ppl say directly what is on their mind
“tone”
we are symbol makers and creators of symbols
What about interpersonal communication in relationships?
Communication between two people that considers the context of their relationship; this includes examining how a relationship evolves, progresses, or devolves.
good comm comes from hard situations
What’s at stake?
Real connection
small talk
customer service type
ex like the weather, name, major etc
Small talk is necessary
If u ask interesting questions u can hold a good conversation
Opportunities
there are invisible doors for u
communication holds the key
communcation creates networking, finding your ppl, finding ur click
Across time
will expand upon another time
4 key qualities that represent interpersonal communcation and relationships
Uniqueness
No 2 convo’s will ever be the same
Ichigo Ichie - one encounter, one lifetime
if a mother and a daughter have a tea ritual, if you look at all of those interactions over a long period of time, on the surface it will look similar, but they will all be different
Interdependence
This is the relationships that you care about
If something happens to someone close to you, you feel an obligation to be there for them
Key quality relationships
Self- disclosure
A huge part of interpersonal comm is this
How willing or unwilling someone is to share information
Sharing info about themselves
Extrovert - could be described of having high self disclosuer
Introvert - could be desribed of having low self disclosuer
Once something is said, its other there
train has left the station
As soon as something is being said, you can’t take it back
Its the flow of inromation
Intrinsic Rewards
Are the best things we get out of our relationship
Someone who gets you, understands you, and someone you can be honest with, and have a good time with
Money is NOT an intrinsic reward
Intrinsic reward is something that can’t be measured
Think about trust, lvoe, etc
Trust, love, someone who gets you etc, is rare, and when you find it thats something special
Instrumental is the opposite of this
superfical things
Our imperfections
We cannot be perf in our communication all the time
We get lost in translation, cannot catch all the nuances (ex: nonverbal)
nonverbal comm is hard
we misinterpret all the time
Miscommunications
Murphy’s Law
everything that can go wrong, will go wrong
Nothing will go the way you plan
naturally something will go wrong
Lean into imperfections
Roll with the punches,
90% of reaction
A little self-inventory
eye contact
verbal fillers
“like”
“actually”
hand gestures
vocal inflections
posture/stance
other idiosyncratic things you do when you speak
Myth#1 “Effective communication is a natural ability for everyone, we already know how to do it well.”
72% of divorces are said to be caused by communication issues
Most important is who you end up with
This is a major thing
Conflict management is a big part of communication
can save u time and misery
Myth #2 “Communication will solve any problems.”
for ex: cheating, no amount of communication can fix it.
ex: end of the term, emailing teacher to give a b- from a c.
Myth #3 “More communication is always better”
ex: Frustating when you have a boss mircomanging
Buffer of having too much communciation = Trust
Over texting, over communication = lack of trust in other person in relationships
Myth #4 “Not all communication seeks (genuine) understanding”
We enact many common social rituals ( “hows it going” - “great” - “ok bye”)
not all communication is GOOD
Attempts of persuasion, deliberate ambiguity, or acts of deception, all do not seek mutual understanding. (motives are incredibly important when looking at communication)
Half-truth is a bevelolent lie
Can withhould info
Key Characterstics:
interpersonal communication is:
Transactional - with others, not to others
What you do WITH somebody NOT TO somebody
Irreversible
Both intentional and unintentional
We can send intentional and unintentional messages to each other.
AND INCLUDES
Content and relational dimensions
Content - what the message is
Relationional - is the context
Rules (said and unsaid)
ex: during a lecture, nobody interrupting
Syllabus notes:
Friday’s by midnight is when most assignments will be due
other work will be in class assignments
Need to get the textbook