Mon, Jan 6th, 2025 - What is interpersonal comm?

Mon, Jan 6th, 2025 - What is interpersonal comm?

• communication as like a “cocktail mixture”

  • theres pscyoloty, socilogy, etc

  • its real life situations

    • ex: first date, conflict, how to end relationship, talk to ppl

  • This class is a human science course, connections to real life

What is interpersonal comm?

• An exchange of symbols; a dynamic between two ppl ( known as a “dyad” ) created through converstations and predicted on perception, culture, language, and much more

• non verbal comm is open to interpretation

  • non verbal is not universal all the time

  • rarely do ppl say directly what is on their mind

  • “tone”

  • we are symbol makers and creators of symbols

What about interpersonal communication in relationships?

• Communication between two people that considers the context of their relationship; this includes examining how a relationship evolves, progresses, or devolves.

  • good comm comes from hard situations

What’s at stake?

• Real connection

  • small talk

    • customer service type

    • ex like the weather, name, major etc

    • Small talk is necessary

    • If u ask interesting questions u can hold a good conversation

• Opportunities

  • there are invisible doors for u

  • communication holds the key

  • communcation creates networking, finding your ppl, finding ur click

• Across time

  • will expand upon another time

4 key qualities that represent interpersonal communcation and relationships

• Uniqueness

  • No 2 convo’s will ever be the same

    • Ichigo Ichie - one encounter, one lifetime

      • if a mother and a daughter have a tea ritual, if you look at all of those interactions over a long period of time, on the surface it will look similar, but they will all be different

• Interdependence

  • This is the relationships that you care about

  • If something happens to someone close to you, you feel an obligation to be there for them

  • Key quality relationships

• Self- disclosure

  • A huge part of interpersonal comm is this

  • How willing or unwilling someone is to share information

  • Sharing info about themselves

  • Extrovert - could be described of having high self disclosuer

  • Introvert - could be desribed of having low self disclosuer

  • Once something is said, its other there

    • train has left the station

    • As soon as something is being said, you can’t take it back

  • Its the flow of inromation

• Intrinsic Rewards

  • Are the best things we get out of our relationship

  • Someone who gets you, understands you, and someone you can be honest with, and have a good time with

  • Money is NOT an intrinsic reward

    • Intrinsic reward is something that can’t be measured

    • Think about trust, lvoe, etc

  • Trust, love, someone who gets you etc, is rare, and when you find it thats something special

  • Instrumental is the opposite of this

    • superfical things

Our imperfections

1. We cannot be perf in our communication all the time

2. We get lost in translation, cannot catch all the nuances (ex: nonverbal)

   1. nonverbal comm is hard

   2. we misinterpret all the time

3. Miscommunications

4. Murphy’s Law

   1. everything that can go wrong, will go wrong

   2. Nothing will go the way you plan

   3. naturally something will go wrong

   4. Lean into imperfections

      1. Roll with the punches,

      2. 90% of reaction

A little self-inventory

• eye contact

• verbal fillers

  • “like”

  • “actually”

• hand gestures

• vocal inflections

• posture/stance

• other idiosyncratic things you do when you speak

Myth#1 “Effective communication is a natural ability for everyone, we already know how to do it well.”

• 72% of divorces are said to be caused by communication issues

• Most important is who you end up with

  • This is a major thing

  • Conflict management is a big part of communication

    • can save u time and misery

Myth #2 “Communication will solve any problems.”

• for ex: cheating, no amount of communication can fix it.

• ex: end of the term, emailing teacher to give a b- from a c.

Myth #3 “More communication is always better”

• ex: Frustating when you have a boss mircomanging

  • Buffer of having too much communciation = Trust

  • Over texting, over communication = lack of trust in other person in relationships

Myth #4 “Not all communication seeks (genuine) understanding”

• We enact many common social rituals ( “hows it going” - “great” - “ok bye”)

• not all communication is GOOD

• Attempts of persuasion, deliberate ambiguity, or acts of deception, all do not seek mutual understanding. (motives are incredibly important when looking at communication)

  • Half-truth is a bevelolent lie

    • Can withhould info

Key Characterstics:

• interpersonal communication is:

  1. Transactional - with others, not to others

     1. What you do WITH somebody NOT TO somebody

  2. Irreversible

  3. Both intentional and unintentional

     1. We can send intentional and unintentional messages to each other.

AND INCLUDES

1. Content and relational dimensions

   1. Content - what the message is

   2. Relationional - is the context

2. Rules (said and unsaid)

   • ex: during a lecture, nobody interrupting

Syllabus notes:

• Friday’s by midnight is when most assignments will be due

• other work will be in class assignments

• Need to get the textbook