eat me - patience agbabi

what are the main themes of the poem?

• the consumption of the female body and its existence under the male gaze as a commodity
• the scrutiny to which the female body is subjected
  • further than this, the relationship between female ageing and scrutiny, particularly how beauty is viewed in correlation with age by men
• the dynamics of control within relationships, particularly heterosexual relationships; sexual politics
• the attraction found in obedience
  • considering these examples of abuse throughout the poem, it is interesting the quietness with which they are written, in some respect, suggesting the persona’s denial of it
• the poem explores the exploitation of female bodies, but, written by a black author, it could be interpreted as a testimony to the black experience, and the exploitation of black bodies
  • as subject matter, Agbabi takes a strong interest in post-colonialism, power, sexual politics, gender, and ethnicity

how does Agbabi explore the theme of the female body as an object of consumption or a commodity?

• there is much reference to her physical stature, especially her weight, suggesting that the male character views her as something with which he can sufficiently quench his appetite. This is shown in him celebrating her weight as if it is a birthday - ==‘a candle for each stone in weight’== - and in the extended metaphor running through the poem that casts her as something to eat, as if he is filling her up with all these foods as a means of fattening her up - ==‘he brought me a cake […] the icing was white but the letters were pink, they said, EAT ME.’== There is a semantic field of food which reinforces this metaphor, such as a line towards the end of the poem ==‘he said, open wide, poured olive oil down my throat’==

  the idea that ‘the letters were pink’ reinforces ideas of stereotypical femininity, and by conforming to this, Agbabi is suggesting that the persona falls within the male gaze, and subsequently, that it is the male gaze that has cast women as commodities

  • there is a sense that the male character desires the woman because he has convinced himself that she is something that will sate his ever-growing hunger - ==‘the bigger the better’== - but this is accompanied by the realisation that male appetite will never be satisfied, something shown through consistent reference to starvation as well as the notion that even past the point of his death in the poem’s conclusion, the male character lies there with ==‘his eyes bulging with greed’== and ==‘his mouth slightly open’== as if expecting to be fed. While his body may die, his hunger lives on.
  • references to starvation can be found in the metaphor comparing the woman to ==‘his desert island after shipwreck’== and the simile ==‘forbidden fruit’== suggesting something always out of reach, never quite filling but always desired

• the eyes of the male viewer, in examining her flesh, digest her almost as much as a mouth would, suggesting that the poem is a metaphor for the consuming nature of the male gaze

  • ==‘so he could watch my broad belly wobble, my hips judder like a juggernaut’==

• as well as references to food to suggest the female body as an object of consumption, there is reference to objects of luxury to suggest that she is a commodity, existing for the use of the male character

  • ==‘I was his jacuzzi’==

• sexual references are intertwined amongst this description of the woman as food, to denote the poem as a commentary on sexual politics, and suggest that the female body is most seen as a commodity in a sexual and sensual context, something that can be used for the physical pleasure of men

  • their positioning in bed with one another suggests this - ==‘how could I not roll over on top’== - as does the duality in the phrase ==‘open wide’==. This can at once be a command for her to open her mouth for him to pour ‘olive oil down [her] throat’ and a command for her to open her legs

• the idea of the female body as a commodity is also reinforced in how replaceable it is presented as, much as an object or a toy would be when it no longer serves its purpose. A volta of sorts is presented in the seventh stanza of the poem, where the persona transitions from being everything the male figure needs, to ==‘too much’==, a phrase that is repeated three times as if to assert her banishment from his love and devotion all too well. Indication of his new disinterest in her is not given, and this is accompanied by an unexpected resurrection in his desire in the stanza immediately following. Just as the persona, the reader is left bewildered as to where she became ==‘too much’==. There is an unfairness in how easily the female body is discarded when men become bored of it, and in how little indication they give of their boredom, that suggests even further how little she is seen as an actual person with emotions

• the idea of the female body as objectified and a commodity suggests that it can be given a material worth, and this is connected to the idea of the female experience of ageing, by the exploration of how their worth decreases the older they become.

  • the poem opens with the line ==‘when I hit thirty, he brought me a cake’==, which at first glance seems a reference to birthdays, however, given the context of the poem, it could just as easily be interpreted as a figure of her weight. The synchronicity of these two numbers suggests how, as they age, women’s bodies are afforded more and more scrutiny, and negative attention, and as such, their worth decreases.

how does Agbabi present the theme of sexual politics, dynamics of control, and desire for obedience?

• first and foremost it is clear that the sex is an act of servitude, with dynamics established where the male figure is in control, and the female persona exists to please
  • this is shown in the recurring use of imperative verbs, such as ==‘eat me’== or ==‘open wide’==
  • it is also emphasised by the repetitive use of possessive pronouns, denoting the woman as a possession of his, existing only to serve and be used
  • the self-prescribed superiority of the male figure is also shown through the use of personal pronouns, such as where he tells her ==‘I like big girls’==; despite the poem revolving around the female persona, the use of such pronouns allows the man to centralise himself to the narrative, taking a position of superiority over her
• the writing of the male voice in italics, and as a repeating voice throughout the poem suggests that it lives inside her mind, as is his needs have become gospel; he takes on the role of a god, and as such, the sexual dynamics of power are once again established in his favour
• we can tell that in this, the male figure expects obedience, and this is shown too in the title of the poem ==‘Eat Me’== is a reference to Alice in Wonderland, and is thus infantilising, casting the woman as vulnerable, and thus easily exploited and manipulated, easy to ask obedience of. Infantilization also suggests an incapability to care for herself on the part of the woman, and this can relate to the quietness with which this clearly imbalanced and abusive relationship is characterised - it is the type of abuse that often goes unnoticed by the victim, who remains in denial, having been convinced that they need the other person in order to function
  • while still abusive, the relationship is presented without the conventions of a typical unhealthy relationship; there are no voices raised, no arguments, instead it comes across as if in his suffocation of the persona, he is protecting her. He is not her perpetrator, but her provider.
  • this is suggested in the idea that the cake was ==‘home-made’==, suggesting a tenderness and surprisingly gentle quality to him, and his characterisation by her in that ==‘he was my cook’==
  • her obedience, and her denial of her exploitation, is shown too in the line ==‘and I ate, did what I was told. Didn’t even taste it’.==
  • in not even tasting it, the suggestion is made that any retaliation on her part would make him uncomfortable, and convinced that he cares for her, she doesn’t want to seem ungrateful. There is a suggestion that she is denying her abuse in that the line comes across slightly passive aggressively, as if she has something to prove, but the abuse is emphasised in the idea that to make the relationship bearable, she has to remove all expectations of pleasure for herself from it
• the dynamics of control are shown consistently throughout the poem to be that the man is dominant, while the woman is submissive, however, towards the end of the poem, these dynamics start to shift in favour of the latter
  • ==‘I allowed him to stroke my globe of a cheek’== removes the persona from the passive position (which had juxtaposed her role as persona), and puts him at her mercy
  • the metaphor, ==‘I was a tidal wave of flesh’==, gives her a destructive quality, and foreshadows this overtaking of control that she will have

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