Active Constructive Responding and Assessment Notes

Attachment Styles and Parenting

• Attachment styles are developed from parenting styles.
• Bowelby's attachment theory links attachment to parenting.
• Child attachment styles include anxious, avoidant, and secure.

Qualities of Good Friendship

• Compatibility is often assumed to be necessary for good friendships.

Communication and Responding

• Focus on active versus passive, constructive versus destructive responding.
• How we respond to positive disclosures is more predictive of long-term relationship success than responses to negative disclosures.

Dimensions of Responding (Shelley Gable)

• Constructive-Destructive Dimension:
  • Constructive: Encouraging, with positive suggestions.
  • Destructive: Discouraging, demeaning.
• Active-Passive Dimension:
  • Active: Shows interest and engagement.
  • Passive: Detached and indifferent.

Four Types of Responses

1. Active Destructive:
   • Dents the other person's excitement.
   • Example: "Now you'll be even busier, causing more strain on our relationship."
2. Passive Destructive:
   • Displays indifference.
   • Example: Not making eye contact, changing the subject.
3. Passive Constructive:
   • Involves little enthusiasm or interest.
   • Example: Acknowledging smile or nod, then changing the subject.
4. Active Constructive (ACR):
   • Involves enthusiasm and follow-up questions.
   • Example: "Tell me more! How did your boss break the news? Let's celebrate!"
   • Shows genuine interest, expresses happiness and pride.

Benefits of Active Constructive Responding (ACR)

• More passionate, thriving, and resilient relationships.
• Improved ability to deal with difficult times together.
• Helpful in professional associations, parent-child relationships, and friendships.

Reflection on Responding Styles

• Responding style can vary depending on the person.
• Sometimes, conversations can become combative and destructive.
• Passive constructive communication may occur with parents due to differing world views.
• Active or passive responding can be a conscious choice for the purpose of the conversation.

Research Findings

• Active constructive responding is beneficial for both the sharer and the responder.
• Active responding to positive events increases well-being, improves mood, and enhances relationship satisfaction and quality.
• Passive or destructive responses can lead to stress and negative emotions.

Visual Diagram of Responses

• Active & Constructive: Genuine interest, amplifies the experience.
  • Validate, reflect, ask further questions.
• Passive & Constructive: Understated support, conversation stalls.
• Active & Destructive: Replays good news with alarm bells.
• Passive & Destructive: Ignores event, steals the conversation.

Example Scenario: Jane's Promotion

• Jane shares with Jack that she's been made team leader for a new product development.
• Constructive Passive: Jack: "That's nice, dear." (Warm smile).
• Destructive Active: Jack: "I bet the project will be complicated and difficult. Are you sure you can handle it? Sounds like a lot of work for little payoff."
• Destructive Passive: Jack: "What happened to me today? Are you going to be on the drive thing?"

Good Listening and Active Constructive Responding

Good Listening

• Attentive listening makes others feel heard.
• Avoid assumptions and truly listen to their words.
• Disengage from distractions (e.g., computer) and engage with the person.
• Make eye contact, listen with both ears and eyes.
• Listening to small things helps with bigger issues later on.
• See the world through their eyes to understand their perspective.
• Let them express themselves without interruption.
• Provide feedback and clarification to show you're paying attention.
• Show that you care through body language and attentiveness.
• Encourage them to say more using open-ended questions.
• Benefits: Stronger group, people feel heard and important.

Microcounseling Skills

• Active listening
• Reflection of feelings
• Open-ended questions
• Summarizing
• Silence
• Affirming, validating, and challenging

Assessment Reflection

Task Requirements

• Critically reflect on using top signature strengths in new ways.
• Reflect on personal proficiency linked to strengths.

Key Questions

1. What does science say about positive psychology interventions? (Reference needed).
2. Introduce top five strengths, chosen strength(s), and previous utilization.
3. Subjective experience of the task compared with the cohort's.
   • Positive, negative, or neutral feelings?
   • Compare subjective opinion vs. objective data.
4. Personal Proficiency
   • Detailed description: What are you good at?
   • Positive influences on your life.
   • Links to strengths, and how strengths can further boost proficiencies.
   • Support with science or gray literature.
   • Gray literature refers to less scholarly but reliable sources (e.g., news articles, blogs).
5. Conclusion
   • Self-developments from the task.
   • Intention to deliberately utilize strengths in the future to improve well-being.