Remote Preparation for Marriage Notes

Human Sexuality

  • Human Sexuality as a Sacred Gift: The lesson explores what makes human sexuality a sacred gift within the context of marriage.

  • Case Study: Miko and Erika: A scenario is presented involving Miko and Erika, who are dating. As Valentine's Day approaches, they contemplate crossing their self-imposed physical boundaries.

    • Scenario 1: Miko and Erika engage in premarital sex on Valentine's Day eve. The question posed is what effect this experience would have on them individually and as a couple and potentially on their future.

    • Scenario 2: Miko and Erika discuss their desires and decide to abstain from further physical intimacy. The inquiry is what impact their decision would have and which choice would be more conducive to personal development and mutual respect.

  • Catholic Church's Teaching: The Catholic Church's teaching on human sexuality is rooted in the belief that God is love, living in a communion of love.

  • Vocation of Love: Sexuality is pertinent to our calling to love and experience communion with others.

  • Educational Crisis: Humanity faces an educational crisis, particularly in affectivity and sexuality, influenced by curricula presenting a neutral view of the person and life, sometimes conflicting with faith and reason.

  • Impact on Family: This crisis can destabilize the family, portraying gender differences as mere social constructs.

  • Church's Response: The Church emphasizes that sexuality is integral to personality development and education, and sex education must integrate biological, psycho-affective, social, and spiritual elements.

  • Sexuality and the Human Person: Sexuality influences all dimensions of a person, uniting body and soul, affecting the capacity for love, procreation, and forming bonds.

Nuptial Meaning of the Body

  • Vocation in Marriage: The human person's vocation is realized in marriage, virginity, or celibacy.

  • God's Plan: God's design for marriage involves complete self-giving between a man and a woman.

  • Sexuality and Self-Giving: Sexuality is how a man and woman give themselves to each other in the marital act which is not merely biological but concerns the person's innermost being and is fully realized when integrated into a love that is a total commitment until death.

  • Male and Female: Men and women should acknowledge and accept their sexual identity, understanding that physical, moral, and spiritual differences complement each other, oriented toward marriage and family life.

  • Marriage Acts: Intimate and chaste acts between spouses in marriage are honorable, fostering self-giving and enriching the couple.

  • Body's Capacity for Love: The human body has the inherent ability to express love, enabling the person to become a gift through which they fulfill their purpose.

  • Understanding the Body: Understanding the nuptial meaning of the body is crucial for understanding human identity and purpose.

  • Body as a Sign: The body reveals the invisible, spiritual, and divine aspects of God's love for humanity, serving as a sign of this mystery.

  • Original Nakedness: Original nakedness symbolizes inner freedom and the disinterested gift of oneself.

  • Marriage Act and Love: The marriage act unites husband and wife and enables them to create new life, mirroring Christ's love for the Church.

  • Freedom of Gift: Love is built through truth and freedom, responding to the awareness of the gift of self.

The Person and Love

  • Person as a Good: The person is a good, and love is the only adequate attitude, with the person's value exceeding pleasure.

  • Love as Attraction: Attraction between individuals often occurs spontaneously, but it can be "blind".

  • Love as Desire: Desire is part of the love between a man and woman because humans are limited and need others; love should ensure desire does not dominate.

  • Love as Goodwill: Genuine love fulfills human potential and is directed toward a true good.

  • From Sympathy to Friendship:

    • Sympathy arises from experience, driven by emotions.
    • Friendship involves goodwill (benevolentia), with a moral unity formed between individuals for mutual benefit.

  • Betrothed Love:

    • Love is unification, where persons come together.
    • It is characterized by self-giving, where one's self is surrendered.

Education in Chastity

  • Chastity as a Virtue: Chastity is a virtue that encourages the responsible and faithful use of sexuality is all states of life, whether married or single.

  • Developing Chastity: Requires development and practice to manage strong sexual feelings.

  • Definition: Chastity is the purity of mind and heart.

  • Respect for the Person: Is a deep respect for oneself and others in regards to sexuality.

  • Affirmation of the Person: It is the readiness to love the person in every situation, according to John Paul II.

Proximate Preparation for Marriage

  • Importance of Preparation: Gary Chapman states that couples often separate due to a lack of preparation for marriage and failure to develop skills for working together.

  • Dating's Role: Dating, courtship, and engagement are vital to prepare for a successful marriage.

  • Dating in Western and Philippine Culture: Dating is crucial for getting to know someone before marriage to decide if the individual is interested in investing effort and time into a committed relationship.

Commitment is required of both individuals, whether the goal is to find a possible spouce, or keep things at surface value.

  • Types of Dating:
    • Casual dating: Non-exclusive relationships between individuals.
    • Committed dating: perceived normally as an exclusive relationship.

Purposes of Dating

  • Exploring Relationships: Dating allows you to learn more about yourself.
  • The act of engaging with your partner gives rise to self realization.

Courtship

  • Definition:

    • Seeking love or affection with marriage in mind (American Heritage Dictionary).
    • Mutual commitment to explore marriage (Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo).

  • Three Phases of Courtship:

    • Exploration: Understanding emotions that evolve after friendship.

    • Confirmation: Acknowledging marriage as a potential but not a promise.

In the second phase of courtship, the couple learns:

    * Lessons of give and take
    * Overcoming frustrations
    * Handling jealousies
    * Handling insecurities
    * Handling possible misunderstandings

*   Pledging: Creating a deep emotional bond where a solidarity of feelings and thoughts occur.

Church Teachings on Dating

  • No Specific Catholic Understanding: Dating is not mentioned in the Bible or Catechism of the Catholic Church.

  • Key Points for Catholic Dating:

    • Know your intentions: Discover more about yourself.

    • Stick to your boundaries: Remain chaste and honest.

    • Have fun: Enjoy the present moments.

    • Trust in God: Seek God's guidance towards a spouse.

  • Courtship Defined: An intentional process towards marriage, requiring age-readiness; as well as mental and spiritual maturity.

  • Objective guides needed: Courtship utilizes guides that allow either party to reasses the progression of a relationship.

  • Courtship Stages:

    • Assessing virtue and moderation.

    • Evaluating sacrifice and self-control.

    • Determining marriage potential, including children.

    • Determining if the individual truly loves.

  • Catholic Courtship: Requires spiritual, mental, and financial preparation.

  • Engagement: Follows a successful courtship, marked by an engagement ring and public announcement, signifying intentions for a future holy matrimony.

Engagement

  • Planning Together: Discuss job prospects, living arrangements, and family plans.

  • Testing Time: Allows friends and family to meet each other and discuss the potential compatibility with each other.

  • Getting Along: Couples must learn to get along with each other.

  • Seeing Each Other Realistically: Showing more to each other than your best qualities.

  • Involvement of Friends and Family: Family and friends provide insight with personal connection, and should be held in great value.

  • Caution and Avoiding Temptation: Maintaining caution, good judgement, and respect with the other person and their family.
    Do not cause shame or regret to any other member included.

  • Mistakes Can Be Rectified: Calling off the wedding if a mistake is made is understandable.

  • Happy, Holy, and Faithful Marriage: Following the above principles leads to a successful marriage.

  • Divine Union: God brings couples together for a divine purpose (Bishop Robert Barron).

  • True Love Waits: Appreciating Catholic teaching and living by God's plan.

  • Assignment: The student needs to complete a marriage expectation activity with their parent(s) or guardian.