Kerry Cronin - Hanging Out and Hooking Up

Carrie Cronin: Introduction

  • Carrie Cronin   - Earned her BA and MA in Philosophy from Boston College.   - Currently a doctoral candidate at Boston College, close to finishing her thesis.   - Associate Director of the Lonergan Institute at Boston College.   - Faculty fellow in the Center for Student Formation at Boston College.   - 17 years of teaching experience in the Interdisciplinary Perspectives program at Boston College, focusing on the Great Books tradition.   - Works extensively with undergraduates in retreat programs.   - Regularly speaks on college campuses about student culture and formation.

Opening Remarks

  • Apology for having a cold and coughing during lectures.

  • Acknowledgment of the audience and appreciation for their attendance.

  • Thanks to the Love and Fidelity Network for the invitation and for organizing the conference.

  • Mention of the impressive talks at the conference and the contributions of individuals involved in the event.

Key Themes

  • Different Versions of College Life
      - Two contrasting depictions of college:     - The positive version shown in promotional materials with happy, well-rounded students.     - The negative version highlighting issues such as student debt and sexual assault.   - Reality may lie in a mixture of these two portrayals.   - Discusses a culture gap on college campuses between daytime ambition and nighttime behavior.

  • Integrity and College Culture
      - Concern over what integrity means when students exhibit different behaviors in day and night contexts.   - The prevalence of hookup culture on campuses and its implications for moral reasoning.

Personal Narrative

  • Discusses a significant conversation with seniors at Boston College about their dating experiences.

  • Eight seniors, all very accomplished, reported minimal dating activity and a lack of experience.

  • Initiates a discussion about hookup culture and its impact on students:   - Many students felt lonely despite having numerous friends and social engagements.   - Students expressed feelings of isolation and confusion regarding romantic relationships.

  • Observations on Campus Life
      - Noticing a lack of effective communication and misunderstanding in romantic situations.   - Faculty resistance to engage with students' romantic lives, suggesting it's not part of their responsibilities.

Academic Insights

  • Carrie reflects on the disconnect between formal education and emotional development in matters of love and relationships.

  • Challenges the stance of some faculty who claim moral development and student happiness fall outside their academic purview.

  • Reading through reflections and anecdotes from students demonstrates the struggle to balance ambition with intimacy.

Dating Culture on College Campuses

  • Current Attitudes
      - Students fall into one of three categories regarding relationships:     - Hooking up
        - In pseudo-married relationships
        - Opting out of dating altogether.   - Recognizing that many students are too busy to engage in dating, opting out may stem from fear or despair in finding love.

  • Historical Context
      - Comparison of past and present dating culture:     - Hookup culture is prevalent, but discomfort around it is widespread.     - Previously, one-night stands carried stigma; today, opting out of hookup culture may invite skepticism.

The Impact of Hookup Culture

  • The conversation reveals a student culture heavy with pressure and expectations:   - Many students experience emotional drain while trying to conform to social norms dictated by hookup culture.   - Students articulate feelings of being trapped, with expectations to conform to a dominant script.

The Dating Assignment

  • Cronin introduces a unique approach to tackle these issues through a dating assignment:   - Students are assigned to go on dates and engage with the person genuinely.   - Encouragement to approach the assignment practically and with intention.   - Stresses the importance of in-person communication when asking someone out.

  • Reflections from Students on Dating Assignments
      - Students share experiences that were often more rewarding than anticipated.   - Several reflections highlight initial nerves shifting to enjoyable interactions.   - Many students learned that dating doesn’t have to be as intimidating as society portrays it.

Conclusions and Future Directions

  • Emphasis on the need for self-discovery and openness during the dating experience to foster genuine connections.

  • Reflects on broader implications for love and relationships in the collegiate context:   - Importance of nurturing environments to help students engage better with romantic interests.   - Encouragement for students to be courageous in their romantic pursuits and emphasize the value of human connection.

  • Significance of Communication
      - Assert the idea that good communication fosters better outcomes in relationships.   - Cronin underlines that universities have a role in supporting students’ emotional and relational development and should facilitate conversations around dating and relationships.

  • Final Thoughts
      - Reaffirms the importance of being open and the willingness to engage in personal vulnerability within relationships.   - Urges students to understand their desires and the complexity of intimacy.