L4

Key Topics

  1. Interpersonal Conflict: Negative aspects of relationships

  2. Social Support and Health: Positive aspects of relationships

  3. Stress and Health Effects of Racism and Discrimination: Group-level relationship dynamics

  4. Gender Differences in Stress Response

Interpersonal Conflict

  • Causes of Conflict:

    • Differences in motives, interests, personalities, attitudes, values, life goals, money, sex, etc.

    • Goal types in a relationship: individual’s goals, partner’s goals, group goals

Example Scenarios

  • Conflict Example 1:

    • My goal: Stay in Hong Kong

    • Our goal: Stay in a relationship

    • Partner’s goal: Study abroad

  • Conflict Example 2:

    • My goal: Stay at home

    • Our goal: Stay in a relationship

    • Partner’s goal: Go to a party

Managing Conflict

  • Conflict Handling:

    • High Drama: Raising tension and creating distance

    • Characteristics of High Drama: Strong emotions, anxiety, excitement

    • Low Drama: Lowering tension and creating closeness

    • Characteristics of Low Drama: Minimized conflict, nurturing growth

High Drama Dynamics:

  • Creating distance can weaken relationships

  • Negative Approaches:

    • Power and control tactics

    • Negative reciprocity (verbal attack)

    • Demand-withdraw pattern

Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

  1. Criticism: Attacking partner's character instead of addressing specific issues

    • Example: Complaints vs. Criticism

  2. Defensiveness: Responding to criticism by defending oneself

    • Example: Justifying behavior instead of resolving issues

  3. Contempt: Disrespectful communication, mocking, sarcasm

    • Example: Insulting or ridiculing partner

  4. Stonewalling: Withdrawing from interaction and ignoring partner's attempts to communicate

    • Example: Tuning out or avoiding conversation

Distance-creating Behaviors

  • Triangulation: Involving a third person in disputes

    • Establishes roles that encourage drama (Persecutor → Victim → Rescuer)

Attributional Biases in Conflicts

  • Internal vs. External Attributions:

  • Responsibility: laying the blame on someone/ thinks the other should be punished

    • Internal: Assigning blame to personal qualities

    • External: Considering situational factors are the cause of an event

  • Fundamental Attribution Error: Overestimating personal characteristics while underestimating situational effects

  • Actor-Observer Bias: Differing attributions based on who is assessing behavior

  • Self-Serving Bias: Attributing successes to self and failures to external factors

Transitioning to Low Drama

  • Active Listening: Skills to enhance interpersonal dynamics

    • Techniques include S.O.L.E.R. (Squarely face, Open posture, Lean in, Eye contact, Relax)

    • Identification of emotions and underlying thoughts: Paraphrasing, Feedback, Clarifying, “I hear you”

Benefits of Low Drama Approach

  • Search for common ground to minimize tensions

  • Valuing relationships promotes personal and relational growth

  • Building empathy through positive reciprocity and active listening

Conflict Example Revisited

  • Constructive influence: express one’s own needs and interests in a constructive manner that is mutually satisfying

  • Be assertive

  • Direct, honest, and respectful without sugarcoating or being forceful and aggressive

  • Realizing they are necessary to maintain intimate relationships (common goal)

  • Responsibility: accept responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions

  • Set limits and boundaries

Divorce and Impact on Health

  • Why Divorce is Stressful:

    • Child custody battles

    • Conflict with ex-spouse

    • Loss of financial resources

    • Lack of social support

Stressors and Protective Factors in Divorce

  • Stressors: Child custody, financial loss, social support loss

  • Protective Factors:

    • Individual personal resources: Coping skills and support systems

    • Interpersonal resources: New partner

    • Structural resources: Employment

Better Response to Conflict

  • Use gentle start-up

  • Take responsibility

  • Describe your own feelings and needs

  • Physiological self-soothing

Social Support and Health Benefits

  • Social strain → real physical strain

  • Social Support: Social interactions that provide a person with potential access to actual or perceived resources from others perceived as caring

  • Enhances health and longevity

  • Importance of trust and confiding in interpersonal relationships

    • Perceived support more reliable

Models of Social Support

  1. Stress Buffer Model: Social support moderates stress effects (No benefit if low stress)

  2. Direct Effect Model: Beneficial health effects regardless of stress level (Benefit even when no stress)

Racism and Discrimination

  • Definition of Terms:

    • Prejudice (Negatively stereotyped attitudes), Racism, Discrimination (behaviors) are interconnected

  • Realistic Conflict Theory: Conflict between groups that seek common resources (e.g., job opportunity, land) → prejudice

  • Social causes: Conformity

  • Psychological causes: Compare themselves better to improve self-esteem

  • Social identity (In group versus out group)

    • Distort reality

    • Exaggerate differences between groups

    • Produce selective perception

    • Underestimate within-group differences

      • Solution: Intergroup contact

Gender Differences in Stress Response

  • Similar physiological responses, but differing behavioral approaches

  • Women: hormone oxytocin → under threat more likely to seek support (Tend-and-befriend phenomenon)

  • Gender differences in coping are minimal.