Notes on Human Motivation and Psychological Flexibility

Human Motivation

  • Humans experience motivation in two primary directions:
    • Away from unwanted things
    • Towards desired things
  • This dynamics applies effectively to external experiences.

Language and Internal Experiences

  • The advent of language allowed humans to articulate not just external experiences, but also internal ones, such as emotions and thoughts.
  • Emotions are categorized by nature:
    • Negative emotions (to avoid): anxiety, doubt, uncertainty.
    • Positive emotions (to pursue): happiness, excitement, relief.
  • Intuitively, this classification aligns with external motivational responses.

Problems with Internal Application

  • Applying the away/towards rule to internal experiences leads to issues:
    • Negative associations with challenging emotions may cause avoidance.
    • Individuals often feel discomfort (e.g., anxiety) when progressing towards significant achievements (e.g., running a marathon, passing an exam).
  • This avoidance may result in immediate relief but can hinder long-term fulfillment and growth.

Experiential Avoidance

  • Definition: The act of steering clear of unpleasant internal experiences, leading to a life constructed around avoidance rather than pursuit.
  • Short-term relief from discomfort is misleading; it does not foster sustainable life satisfaction.

Examination of Values

  • To combat experiential avoidance, it is essential to:
    • Assess personal values: Identify what truly matters in life and what individuals genuinely wish to pursue.
    • Willingness: Develop an acceptance of challenging emotions as part of the journey.

The Role of Difficult Emotions

  • Certain negative feelings are intrinsic to positive experiences:
    • Fear of rejection is part of loving relationships.
    • Fear of failure accompanies significant achievements.
    • Concern for loss is inherent in the process of personal change.
  • Confronting these fears is essential; they are a universal aspect of the human condition.

Psychological Flexibility

  • Definition: The ability to adaptively handle difficult thoughts and emotions while pursuing what matters most to us.
  • A focus on being psychologically flexible enables:
    • Building a life centered around pursuing goals (towards moves) rather than escaping difficulties (away moves).
    • Engagement in meaningful actions, even if discomfort is involved, ultimately leading to greater life satisfaction.