Introduction to Interpersonal Communication: Foundations, Processes, and Principles

Defining Communication and Interpersonal Communication

• Foundational Quote: Virginia Satir stated, "Communication is to a relationship what breathing is to maintaining life."

• General Definition of Communication: In its most basic sense, communication is defined as the process of acting on information. This occurs when one individual does or says something, and others think or do something in response based on their understanding of those actions or words. Experts have identified more than $126$ published definitions of this term.

• Human Communication: This is the process of making sense out of the world and sharing that sense with others by creating meaning through both verbal and nonverbal messages. This process involves listening, observing, tasting, touching, and smelling, and it uses various media such as podcasts, e-mail, songs, and books.

• Interpersonal Communication: This is a distinctive, transactional form of human communication that involves mutual influence, typically for the purpose of managing relationships. It is defined by three essential elements:

  • Quality over Quantity: It is defined by the quality of the communication—treating the other person as a unique human being—rather than just the number of people involved.

  • Mutual Influence: All partners in the transaction are affected by it. The degree of influence varies; for example, a brief smile from a stranger has less impact than a partner ending a relationship.

  • Relationship Management: Interpersonal communication is used to initiate, maintain, and sometimes redefine or end connections with others.

• Impersonal Communication: This occurs when you treat others as objects or respond to their roles rather than their unique identities. An example is asking a restaurant server for water, where the interaction is based on the role and not the individual.

• I-Thou vs. I-It Relationships: Influenced by philosopher Martin Buber:

  • I-It Relationships: These are impersonal; the other person is viewed as an "It" or an object rather than an authentic person. While common, not all communication can or should be personal.

  • I-Thou Relationships: These occur when individuals interact as unique, authentic, and genuine people. This involves true, honest dialogue that is patient, kind, forgiving, nonjudgmental, and based on equality.

The Pervasiveness and Importance of Interpersonal Communication

• The Inescapability of Communication: Unless living in total isolation, interpersonal communication is a requirement for life. People communicate from before birth (responding to sound) until their last breath.

• Waking Hours Statistics: Most people spend between $80 \text{ to } 90 \text{ percent}$ of their waking hours communicating with others.

• Generational Differences in Texting: Young adults between the ages of $18$ and $24$ send an average of $110$ text messages a day, which is $20$ times more than those aged $65$.

• Social Media and Relationships: More than $40 \text{ million}$ Americans look for love online. Social media applications like Twitter, Facebook, and Skype are used to develop, maintain, and redefine social relationships. E-mail and texting have an overall positive effect on relationships and are primarily used to maintain existing ones.

• Other-Oriented Perspective: This involves being aware of the thoughts, needs, experiences, personality, emotions, motives, desires, culture, and goals of communication partners while maintaining one's own integrity. Research suggests people are generally becoming less empathic and other-oriented.

• Impact on Health and Well-being:

  • Physical Health: Lack or loss of close relationships can lead to ill health and premature death. Widowed/divorced patients face more heart disease, cancer, and diabetes.

  • Specific Studies: Middle-aged, childless wives were found to be $2.5$ times more likely to die in a given year than those with at least one child.

  • Emotional Health: For unmarried people, developing friendships and falling in love are the top sources of happiness. Losing a relationship is one of life's most stressful events.

• Professional Success: Success in jobs often hinges on getting along with supervisors and peers. Top skills sought by employers include listening, managing conflict, and developing quality relationships.

Elements and Models of the Communication Process

• Key Components:

  • Source: The originator of ideas/feelings. Performs Encoding (putting messages into code).

  • Message: Written, spoken, or unspoken elements people assign meaning to.

  • Channel: The means by which the message is expressed (e.g., text, phone, face-to-face).

  • Receiver: The person interpreting the message. Performs Decoding (interpreting cues).

  • Noise: Anything interfering with the message being interpreted as intended. It can be Literal (external beeps) or Psychological (thoughts/worries).

  • Feedback: The response to the message (e.g., a hug, a yawn, or a question for clarification).

  • Context: The physical and psychological environment, including the culture and the goals of the communicators.

• Three Models of Communication:

  1. Communication as Action: A simple linear transfer of meaning from source to receiver.

  2. Communication as Interaction: Adds feedback and context to the action model, viewing communication as a linear action-reaction sequence.

  3. Communication as Transaction: The most realistic model where all elements are simultaneous and influence each other. This is based on Systems Theory, where a change in one element (Input) affects the process (Throughput) and the result (Output).

• Episode: A sequence of interactions where one person's message influences the next. Only the sender and receiver can determine the boundaries of an episode.

Fundamental Principles and Common Myths

• Principle 1: Interpersonal Communication Connects Us to Others:

  • Inescapability: Communication is unavoidable; even silence or avoiding eye contact in an elevator provides cues others interpret.

  • The Myth: All relationship problems are communication problems. Reality: Partners may understand each other perfectly but still disagree or be self-centered.

• Principle 2: Interpersonal Communication is Irreversible:

  • Helical Model: Communication never loops back; it expands infinitely as partners contribute experiences.

  • The Myth: Messages can be taken back or erased. Reality: Once a word is out, the meaning is created and cannot be uncreated.

• Principle 3: Interpersonal Communication is Complicated:

  • The Six People Involved: (1) Who you think you are; (2) Who you think the other is; (3) Who you think the other thinks you are; (4) Who the other thinks they are; (5) Who the other thinks you are; (6) Who the other thinks you think they are.

  • Symbols: Words, sounds, or images representing things. Slang examples: "throwing shade," "wikidemia," "brodown."

  • Osmo Wiio's Maxims: Include "If communication can fail, it will" and "The more communication there is, the more difficult it is to succeed."

  • The Myth: There are always simple solutions. Reality: Communication is a complex transactive process.

• Principle 4: Interpersonal Communication is Governed by Rules:

  • Definition: A rule is a followable prescription of obligated, preferred, or prohibited behavior (Susan Shimanoff).

  • Types: Explicit (written in a syllabus) vs. Implicit (learned through observation, like not texting in class).

  • Michael Argyle's Important Rules: Respect privacy, don't reveal secrets, maintain eye contact, and don't criticize publicly.

  • The Myth: One person determines the rules. Reality: Rules are mutually defined and agreed upon.

• Principle 5: Interpersonal Communication Involves Content and Relationship Dimensions:

  • Content Dimension: The literal information, ideas, or actions shared.

  • Relationship Dimension: Cues about emotions, attitudes, power, and control (revealed through tone/posture).

  • Metacommunication: Communication about communication. It can be verbal (asking "Is what I'm saying bothering you?") or nonverbal (sarcastic tone modifying verbal content).

  • The Myth: Meanings are in words. Reality: Meaning resides within the person based on interpretation of content, relationship cues, and metamessages.

Other Forms of Communication

• Mass Communication: One message to many people; the source is usually not present and immediate response is near zero (e.g., TV, radio).

• Public Communication: A speaker addressing an audience.

• Small Group Communication: $3 \text{ to } 15$ people interacting with a common purpose and mutual influence.

• Intrapersonal Communication: Communication with oneself (thinking).

Questions & Discussion

• Relating to Diverse Others: The essay "The World Is Here" by Ishmael Reed highlights cultural diversity in America.

  • What are the implications of living in a "melting pot" or "tossed salad" culture for your study of interpersonal communication?

  • Is there too much emphasis on being politically correct on college campuses today? Support your answer.

  • What specific interpersonal skills will help you communicate effectively with others from different cultural and ethnic traditions?