NOT OVER IT, NOT FIXED, AND LIVING A LIFE WORTH LIVING - Piepzna-Samarasinha,

Survivor's Value:
  - To all survivors:
    - Your time is precious.
    - Your energy is precious.
    - You are precious.
  - Meaning of "Precious":
    - Not just cute; invaluable, massive, powerful, transcendent.
Healing as Dangerous Work:
  - Healing involves confronting struggles.
  - Trauma causes individuals to dissociate from the physical space of their trauma.
  - Resuming contact with that space is painful but necessary for remembrance.
  - The ultimate goal is not simply feeling better, but struggling better.

Therapist Encounter:
  - The author auditioned a new therapist who incorrectly assumed trauma could be completely resolved.
  - The therapist's belief: childhood sexual abuse can be managed, a simple wound fixed with time and therapy.
  - Author's perspective:
    - Trauma is not a mere wound; it is a complex experience, likened to a multifaceted opera, not merely something to be managed.
    - Healing involves a lifelong journey of learning and integration rather than a one-time fix.
  - The therapist's misunderstanding highlighted a divergence in views regarding trauma and survivorhood.

Cultural Movement:
  - The #MeToo movement was initiated by Tarana Burke in 2006 and revitalized in 2017 by various media figures.
  - This movement encourages survivors to voice their experiences and break the silence surrounding sexual abuse.
  - The movement has led to significant cultural changes, emphasizing survivor stories and shared experiences, which were often previously marginalized.
Statistics and Reporting:
  - The CDC and FBI report that:
    - About 33% of adult assigned-female-at-birth individuals and 25% of children are victims of sexual abuse.
  - The author emphasizes under-reporting, suggesting that the true number of survivors is likely much higher.
Forms of Sexual Abuse:
  - Many forms of sexual violation are not recognized by traditional carceral systems as "real rape." Examples include:
    - Specific abuse faced by disabled children.
    - Ritual abuse in certain demographics.
    - Sexual abuse of Indigenous peoples in historical contexts.
    - Transmisogynistic harassment targeting trans women of color and others.
Intersection with Identity:
- Gender nonconforming children are at a heightened risk of sexual abuse, based on studies of transgender individuals. - Society often denies the prevalence of abuse, maintaining a belief that significant abuse is rare and occurs only with "obviously dangerous" perpetrators.

Definition:
- The SIC comprises institutions, practices, and beliefs that manage, contain, and provide resolutions to survivors of sexual violence.
Components of the SIC:
- This includes medical professionals (e.g., nurses administering rape kits), therapists, and judicial systems that dictate the narrative of survivorhood.
Persistence of ‘Good’ vs ‘Bad’ Survivor Concept:
  - The SIC promotes the idea of the "good" survivor who has "moved on" and no longer displays trauma-related behaviors.
    - Characteristics of the Good Survivor:
      - Represents a model of recovery free from visible scars, emotional or physical.
      - Does not share their struggle publicly and remains composed.
  - The "bad" survivor is still grappling with trauma, often perceived as weak or problematic.
    - These individuals challenge the status quo by openly discussing their experiences of abuse.
Societal Pressures:
- Society stigmatizes ‘bad’ survivors, suggesting their struggles to heal are failures.
- The desire to label survivors can lead to self-distancing from those who continue to struggle with trauma.

Desire for Transformation:
- Survivors often seek happiness, freedom, joy, and liberation, potentially functioning as revolutionaries in their own right.
- The journey towards recognizing the omnipresence of sexual violence is a source of empowerment.
Narratives Against Ableism:
- There is a need to challenge the binary of "cured" versus "broken," promoting a more nuanced understanding of healing.
- The author asserts that enduring trauma does not equate to failure but is part of the process of learning and remembering.
Community Support and Healing:
- Transformative experiences stem from shared narratives and support within survivor communities. - Every memory and experience of trauma should be mined for knowledge rather than viewed as a nuisance.

Incorporating Disability Justice:
- There is a need to integrate disability justice analyses into survivor culture, allowing for a broader understanding of trauma and coping.
- Being a survivor has skills that translate to leadership and community strength, deserving recognition rather than stigmatisation.
Rethinking Healing:
  - Healing should not be framed as elimination of trauma, but as an increased possibility and a journey towards acceptance of all experiences.
  - Proposals for systemic changes include:
    - Allowing for long-term grief and support in workplaces.
    - Validating grief as a crucial and sacred process.
Visualizing a New Future:
- Challenging existing narratives prepares the ground for futures where healing exceeds the simplistic fix or cure model, celebrating the beauty in survivor stories and their messiness.