Friendship and Love/Marriage and Intimate Relationships
Friendship and Love/Marriage and Intimate Relationships
Course details: PSYCHOLOGY 2035A, ADAM KOENIG, MA, RP, CCC, CT
Midterm Information
Date: Oct 31st
Time: 9am - 11am (2 hrs)
Location: Usual Classroom
Testing on: Weeks 6 to 8
Format: Mix of 90 MC (Multiple Choice) and T/F (True/False)
Materials: Bring HB Pencil and student card
Content Basis: Lecture content and assigned text readings
Outline of Topics Covered
Relationship Development
Friendship
Romantic Love
The Internet and Close Relationships
Challenges to the Traditional Model of Marriage
Deciding to Marry
Marital Adjustment Across the Family Life Cycle
Vulnerable Areas of Marital Adjustment
Divorce
Understanding Intimate Partner Violence
Relationship Development
Definition of Close Relationships
Close Relationships: Defined as those that are important, interdependent, and long-lasting. Types include:
Family relationships
Friendships
Work relationships
Romantic relationships
Marriage
Emotional Impact of Close Relationships
Close relationships can elicit intense feelings that are both positive (e.g., passion, concern, caring) and negative (e.g., rage, jealousy, despair). This phenomenon is known as the paradox of close relationships.
Initial Attraction Factors
Proximity: People tend to form connections with others who are geographically or spatially close to them.
Familiarity: The mere exposure effect indicates that repeated exposure to a person enhances positive feelings towards them.
Physical Attractiveness: Significant in face-to-face interactions and romantic contexts but its importance is debated in cross-cultural studies. It has been found that qualities such as kindness, humor, and intelligence often rank higher than attractiveness for both genders.
Physical Attractiveness
Key components of attractiveness:
Facial Features: Attractiveness assessments often rely on symmetry (Jones et al., 2007) and averages (Cunningham, 1986).
Body Type Preferences: Women in the U.S. often emphasize thinness, while men may desire a muscular physique.
Grooming: Quality of grooming and cosmetic enhancements are valued traits.
Implications of Physical Attractiveness
It can impact various areas:
Employability (Johnson et al., 2010)
Criminal Sentencing (Sigall & Ostrove, 1975)
Neonatal Care arising from maternal attractiveness biases (Badr (Zahr) & Abdallah, 2001).
Matching Hypothesis
The Matching Hypothesis: Proposes that individuals tend to form relationships with others of similar levels of physical attractiveness.
Attractiveness and Resource Exchange
Based on evolutionary principles, a theory posits that in heterosexual dating:
Males often 'trade' occupational status for female physical attractiveness.
Buss (1988) proposed Parental Investment Theory:
Mating preferences differ based on sex, influenced by reproductive investment needs:
Men prioritize opportunities for reproduction (valuing youth and attractiveness) and show higher interests in sexual activity.
Women seek mates who can provide long-term resources for offspring (prioritizing income, status, and ambition).
Relationship Viability Factors
Reciprocal Liking: Individuals are more likely to form relationships with those who demonstrate they like them.
Similarity: Attraction is often stronger towards those with comparable qualities or interests. This holds true across both friendships and romantic relationships, irrespective of sexual orientation.
Relationship Maintenance
Maintenance involves actions and activities to sustain desired relationship quality. Key strategies include:
Positivity: Acting nice and cheerful towards the partner.
Openness: Encouraging disclosure of thoughts and feelings.
Assurances: Stressing commitment to the partner.
Social Networking: Involvement with each other’s friends and family.
Task Sharing: Equitable distribution of shared responsibilities.
Mediated Communication: Using technology to maintain contact (e.g., email).
Relationship Satisfaction and Commitment
Determinants of Staying in Relationships
Interdependence Theory: Decisions on staying or leaving relationships involve a cost-benefit analysis.
Satisfaction Comparison Level: Evaluates if rewards exceed costs based on personal standards shaped by past relationships.
Comparison Level for Alternatives: Assessment of potential outcomes with alternative relationships.
Investments in Relationships
Investments: Contributions to relationships that cannot be recovered if the relationship ends, thereby increasing commitments.
Relationship Dynamics Model
Rewards and costs are evaluated to determine overall outcomes, satisfaction, and commitment:
Formula:
ext{Outcome} = ext{Rewards} - ext{Costs}Commitment Factors:
ext{Commitment} = ext{Satisfaction} + ext{Investments}
Friendship Characteristics
Defining Good Friendships
Good friends provide emotional and social support.
Gender Differences:
Women typically discuss personal matters and feelings;
Men often focus on shared interests and activities.
Complexities in Gay and Lesbian Friendships
Gay relationships can present unique dynamics with ongoing connections to former partners and less societal support.
Romantic Love
Definition of Sexual Orientation
Sexual Orientation: Preference for emotional and sexual relationships with others, regardless of gender. Many studies may show heterosexist biases, but same-sex relationships share similarities with heterosexual unions.
Theories of Love
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love: Defines three components fundamental to all loving relationships:
Intimacy: Emotional closeness and sharing.
Passion: Intense feelings, both positive and negative (including sexual desire).
Commitment: Decision to maintain a relationship despite difficulties.
Types of Love: Eight relationship types are derived from the presence or absence of these components; Consummate Love is characterized by the presence of all three.
Course of Romantic Love
According to Sternberg, passion typically peaks early in relationships but declines over time, while intimacy and commitment tend to grow.
Attachment Theory in Romantic Love
Attachment Patterns:
Secure Adults (55%): Comfortable in relationships, capable of healthy engagements.
Anxious-Avoidant (25%): Inconsistent emotional responses leading to difficulties in relationships.
Anxious-Ambivalent (20%): Often preoccupied with relational issues.
Internal Working Models (IWMs)
IWMs: Mental representations formed from early-childhood interactions with caregivers—inform attachment behaviors in adult relationships.
Stability and Evolution of Attachment Styles
Studies indicate moderate stability in attachment styles through life; however, they can shift due to significant life events.
Relationship Dissolution
Common reasons relationships end include premature commitment, ineffective communication, boredom, availability of other partners, and low satisfaction levels.
Breakups undergo defined processes with individual variation in recovery.
The Internet and Relationships
Developing Online Relationships
Online platforms facilitate interactions for individuals less comfortable in face-to-face situations. Advantages include access to diverse suitors and enhanced self-disclosure.
Virtual Intimacy
Virtual relationships can achieve intimacy levels comparable to or exceeding traditional relationships; however, misrepresentation online poses risks for relationship integrity.
Stability of Online Relationships
Studies show that online relationships can maintain stability similar to traditional unions, although excessive use may reduce intimacy.
Challenges to Traditional Marriage
Definition of Marriage
Legal and socially sanctioned union between sexually intimate adults characterized by economic interdependence, shared living, fidelity, and child rearing responsibilities.
Contemporary Challenges
Trends challenging traditional marriage norms:
Increased acceptance of singlehood and cohabitation.
Changes in gender roles and expectations.
Rising voluntary childlessness and decline of nuclear family structures.
Deciding to Marry
Cultural Influences on Marriage
Romantic love is universal, but cultural practices differ regarding marriage prerequisites; 80% of cultures practice arranged marriages emphasizing family welfare over individual desires.
Mate Selection Practices
Monogamy: One spouse at a time.
Polygamy: Having multiple spouses, typically where women's independence is limited.
Endogamy: Marrying within one’s social group.
Homogamy: Selecting partners with similar attributes.
Family Life Cycle
Defined stages families progress through:
Between families
Joining together
Families with young children
Families with adolescents
Launching children into adulthood
Families in later life
Vulnerable Areas in Marital Adjustment
Changes in Role Expectations
New marital role expectations, especially for women who balance demanding careers and family responsibilities.
Work Impact on Family
Dual careers pose concerns about the impact on children, but evidence shows minimal harm to children once they reach one year old when mothers work.
Financial Strain
Money-related issues contribute to marital conflicts, with newlyweds carrying debt often arguing more than those without.
Communication Patterns
Five negative communication patterns include:
Contempt
Criticism
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
Belligerence
These imbalances in communication signify risks for divorce.
Love Languages
Definition
Love Languages: Framework developed by Chapman outlining how individuals express and receive love:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
Physical touch
Research Findings
A study by Mostova et al. (2022) highlights that aligning with a partner's love language correlates with higher relationship satisfaction.
Intimate Partner Violence
Definition and Context
Intimate Partner Violence: Refers to various forms of harm inflicted by current or former partners, transcending gender and sexual orientation. It may occur at any stage of the relationship.
Types of Abuse
Possible forms of intimate partner violence include:
Physical abuse
Criminal harassment (stalking)
Sexual violence
Emotional/Psychological abuse
Financial abuse
Spiritual abuse
Reproductive coercion
Cyberviolence
Reasons for Staying in Abusive Relationships
Factors compelling individuals to stay include:
Economic fears
Desire for social acceptance and fear of facing stigma
Fear of escalated abuse if they attempt to leave
Preventive Measures
Recommendations for self-protection include being aware of excessive substance use, keeping drinks safe, avoiding private dating locations, looking out for friends, and communicating expectations clearly regarding sexual activity.
Resources for Intimate Partner Violence
Important support contacts and counselling services available at UWO and in the community for individuals facing intimate partner violence concerns.
References
Government of Canada. (2022). Fact sheet: Intimate partner violence. Retrieved from https://women-gender-equality.canada.ca/en/gender-based-violence-knowledge-centre/intimate-partner-violence.html
Mostova, O., Stolarski, M., & Matthews, G. (2022). I love the way you love me: Responding to partner’s love language preferences boosts satisfaction in romantic heterosexual couples. PLoS One, 17(6), e0269429. Retrieved from https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0269429
Weiten, W., Dunn, D. S., & Hammer, E. Y. (2023). Psychology applied to modern life (13th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage.