relationships theories

Factors Affecting Attraction: Filter Theory
  • Overview
    • Filter theory, proposed by Kerckhoff and Davis (1962), explains relationship formation as a series of screens that potential partners must pass through.
    • The pool of 'availables' is narrowed down to the pool of 'desirables' through three distinct levels of filters.
  • Quote by Mae West
    • "So many men, so little time" illustrates the psychological reality of choice overload and the necessity of narrowing down options based on specific criteria.
Key Terms
  • Filter Theory
    • A developmental model indicating that different criteria are important at different stages of a relationship.
  • Social Demography
    • Focuses on factors that limit the chance of meeting in the first place. This includes geographical location, socioeconomic status, and education level.
    • Homogamy: The tendency to form relationships with people who are socially and culturally similar to ourselves.
  • Similarity in Attitudes
    • Based on the Law of Attraction (Donn Byrne, 1971), which suggests that similarity is a major cause of attraction. Finding common ground in values and beliefs validates our own worldviews.
  • Complementarity
    • The idea that partners provide what the other lacks. For instance, an impulsive person might be attracted to someone more organized and grounded.
Historical Foundation of Filter Theory
  • Kerckhoff and Davis (1962)
    • Conducted a longitudinal study on 94 US student couples. They found that for short-term couples (under 18 months), similarity of attitudes was the most significant predictor of stability. For long-term couples, complementarity became the more important factor.
Breakdown of Filters
  1. Social Demography (1st Level)
    • These factors lead to propinquity (physical proximity). We are more likely to meet people we live near or work with.
    • Filtered by social variables like religion and ethnic group; we often feel more 'at home' with those who share our background.
  2. Similarity in Attitudes (2nd Level)
    • Importance of 'fishing' for shared interests and values during early dates.
    • If a couple has too many conflicting core beliefs, the relationship is likely to fizzle out before it becomes serious.
  3. Complementarity (3rd Level)
    • Concerns the ability to meet each other's emotional needs. This creates a sense of being a 'whole' unit where the strengths of one partner offset the weaknesses of the other.
Evaluation of Filter Theory
  • Research Support
    • The theory has high face validity as it matches the everyday experience of relationship progression.
  • Counterpoints and Criticisms
    • Failure to Replicate: Levinger (1974) pointed out that many studies failed to replicate original findings, possibly due to changing social values in the decades following the 1960s.
    • Direction of Cause and Effect: Longitudinal studies by Anderson et al. (2003) found that partners actually become more similar over time (emotional convergence), rather than being attracted primarily due to pre-existing similarity.
    • Online Dating: Geographical proximity is less relevant in the digital age, as apps allow people to meet outside their immediate social demographic.
Theories of Romantic Relationships: Social Exchange Theory (SET)
  • Overview
    • An economic model of relationships based on the principle of social behavior as an exchange of goods.
    • The formula for satisfaction is: Profit=RewardsCosts\text{Profit} = \text{Rewards} - \text{Costs}.
Key Concepts in SET
  • Rewards
    • Benefits such as emotional support, sex, financial security, and social status.
  • Costs
    • Drawbacks such as time, stress, arguments, and compromised personal freedom.
  • Comparison Level (CL)
    • The amount of reward we believe we deserve. It is influenced by previous relationships and social norms (e.g., depictions of romance in media).
  • Comparison Level for Alternatives (CLalt)
    • An assessment of whether we could do better elsewhere. If the profit in a current relationship is lower than the perceived profit in an alternative (or being alone), the relationship may end.
Stages of Relationship Development
  1. Sampling Stage: Testing the rewards and costs of social exchange in various contexts.
  2. Bargaining Stage: Identifying which exchanges are most profitable and negotiating the terms of the relationship.
  3. Commitment Stage: The source of rewards and costs becomes predictable; rewards increase and costs stabilize.
  4. Institutionalization Stage: The norms of rewards and costs are firmly established within the relationship structure.
Theories of Romantic Relationships: Equity Theory
  • Overview
    • Equity theory suggests that people are most satisfied when the ratio of rewards to costs is similar for both partners.
    • Inequity leads to one partner being an underbenefitter (feeling resentment/anger) and the other being an overbenefitter (feeling guilt/shame).
Key Concepts in Equity Theory
  • Fairness vs. Equality
    • It is not about the size of the rewards/costs being equal, but the ratio being fair. If one partner puts in a lot of effort, they should receive a lot back to maintain equity.
  • Restoring Equity
    • Behavioral Change: One partner works harder to improve the relationship or demands more from the other.
    • Cognitive Change: Changing the perception of costs and rewards so that the relationship feels equitable even if nothing has physically changed.
Theories of Romantic Relationships: Rusbult's Investment Model
  • Overview
    • Rusbult (1980) argued that SET and Equity Theory are incomplete because they don't explain why people stay in unsatisfactory relationships.
    • Commitment is the key, and it depends on three factors: satisfaction, comparison with alternatives, and investment.
Key Concepts in Investment Model
  • Investment Size
    • Intrinsic Investments: Resources put directly into the relationship (e.g., money, emotion, self-disclosure).
    • Extrinsic Investments: Tangible or intangible resources that now exist because of the relationship (e.g., children, mutual friends, shared memories, a house).
  • Relationship Maintenance Mechanisms
    • Committed partners use specific behaviors to stay together:
    • Accommodation: Not retaliating when a partner acts poorly.
    • Willingness to Sacrifice: Putting the partner's needs first.
    • Positive Illusions: Having an unrealistically positive view of the partner.
    • Derogation of Alternatives: Viewing other potential partners as less attractive than they actually are.
Evaluation of Investment Model
  • Research Backing: A meta-analysis by Le and Agnew (2003) of 52 studies found that satisfaction, CLalt, and investment size were all highly correlated with relationship commitment across various cultures and sexual orientations.