How to Speak so That People Want to Listen

The Power of Voice

• The voice is a powerful instrument that can be used to start a war or express love.
• However, many people feel that they are not being heard when they speak.

Habits to Avoid

• Gossip: Speaking negatively about someone who is not present, which is not a good habit as the gossiper may gossip about you later.
• Judging: Making it difficult for people to listen to you because they feel judged and inadequate.
• Negativity: Expressing pessimism, which can be hard for others to listen to. For example, constant complaining is "viral misery".
• Excuses: Avoiding responsibility by blaming others, which makes it hard for people to listen to you.
• Embroidery/Exaggeration: Diminishing the value of language and potentially leading to lying, which erodes trust. For example, exxageration leads to outright lying.
• Dogmatism: Presenting opinions as facts, making it difficult for others to listen.

The Four Cornerstones of Powerful Speaking: HAIL

• HAIL is an acronym for four cornerstones that make speech powerful and effective. The definition means "to greet or acclaim enthusiastically".

  • Honesty: Being truthful, straightforward, and clear in what you say.

  • Authenticity: Being yourself and standing in your own truth.

  • Integrity: Being true to your word and doing what you say, building trust.

  • Love: Wishing people well, which tempers honesty and makes it difficult to judge others.

    • Absolute honesty without love may be hurtful, so temper honesty with love.

The Voice Toolbox

• The way you say something is as important as what you say. There are several tools to enhance your speaking power.

  • Register: Speaking from different parts of your body to add weight and authority to your voice. Lower voices often convey more power and authority.
  • Timbre: The quality and feel of your voice. Rich, smooth, and warm voices are generally preferred. This can be improved through voice coaching, breathing exercises, and posture.
  • Prosody: The sing-song, metalanguage used to impart meaning. Varying your intonation to avoid monotone speech, which is hard to listen to. Avoid repetitive prosody that restricts communication.
  • Pace: Varying your speed to emphasize points. Slowing down to emphasize important points.
  • Silence: Using silence effectively to create emphasis and avoid filling it with unnecessary sounds.
  • Pitch: Using pitch to indicate arousal or change the meaning of words. "Where did you leave my keys?"
  • Volume: Varying your loudness to capture attention. Avoiding "sodcasting," which is imposing your sound carelessly on others.

Vocal Warm-Up Exercises

• Warm up your voice before any important speaking engagement.

  • Arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out.
  • Lip warm-up: $/b, /b, /b, /b…$
  • Tongue exercise, mimicking childhood sounds.
  • Exaggerated "la la la la la la la".
  • Roll an "ah" to massage the tongue.
  • Siren: Start with a high "wee" and go to a low "o". Wee-o.

Context and the Future of Sound

• Currently, we often speak poorly to people who are not listening, in environments with noise and bad acoustics.
• The world could be transformed if we spoke powerfully to people who listened consciously in environments designed for sound.
• Creating and consuming sound consciously and designing environments consciously for sound would foster understanding.